Hot answers tagged purim-torah-in-jest
In Pirkei Avos (1:15), we find clear instructions regarding this matter: הוי מקבל את כל האדם בספר פנים One should accept all persons on Facebook.
Whilst the Torah clearly tells you not to add or subtract, it does tell you to be fruitful and multiply And also to divide between Holy and Secular. As well as dividing your produce to separate t'rumah and maaser
It depends on the kind of math. Addition and subtraction are both bad, for two reasons. The first is due to the prohibitions of בל תוסיף and בל תגרע -- lest you add or subtract. As if a Biblical prohibition isn't enough, there's also issues of heresy and idolatry! A plus sign looks like a cross, which is idolatry. And as for minus, that's heresy: מינות. ...
Follow the instructions of the Rambam (De'os 1:7): וההולך בדרך זומביא טובה וברכה לעצמו One who goes the way of the zombie — good and blessing to him. There's nothing wrong with being a zombie, so don't try to escape being turned into one. You just need to have a positive attitude about it.
The rule is: שלא יוציא אדם דבר מגונה מפיו ולעולם יספר אדם בלשון נקייה Never use a Magna and always use a Nokia.
In parashas B'ha'alosecha (B. 11), the b'nei Yisrael cried out "מִי יַאֲכִלֵנוּ בָּשָׂר"- who will feed us meat- "אֵין כֹּל--בִּלְתִּי, אֶל-הַמָּן עֵינֵינוּ"- we have nothin to look at except Haman. If Haman was meat, why are they complaining for meat? It must be that Haman became filled with butter which replaced the meat that used to be there.
I visited the link shown on that symbol (http://is.gd/ocmon) and discovered the following FAQ written by the hechsher’s originators (copied here with permission): O-Cmon FAQ What is the O-Cmon? The O-Cmon is the world’s first crowd-sourced Kosher certification. Like Wikipedia or Mi Yodeya, we take advantage of the wisdom, efforts, and interests of the ...
I am surprised that people here are against addition and subtraction. In fact, the book of Genesis teaches us both! Genesis 5 is a lesson in addition. For each of our fathers from Adam to Noah, there is his age at the birth of the first son and the number of years he leaved afterwards, and the total age, which is of course the sum of the previous two ...
One consequence is that Achashverosh had two mothers-in-law. This is further evidenced by the fact that the megilla provides both their names: "כְּשֹׁךְ, חֲמַת הַמֶּלֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹש" - "Keshoch, the mother-in-law of Achashverosh". (Esther 2:1) "וַחֲמַת הַמֶּלֶךְ שָׁכָכָה" - "And the mother-in-law of Achashverosh was Shachacha". (Esther 7:10)
Avos says: יהושע בן פרחיה אומר עשה לך רב וקנה לך חבר והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות Y'hoshua ben Prachya says: Make yourself much and buy yourself a friend; and be judging everyone toward the scalepan of merit. "Buy yourself a friend" means that you should only be friends with someone on a social-networking site for which you pay a membership fee. In ...
Haman is a descendant of Amalek, of whom it says אשר קרך בדרך - he cooled you off on the way (Deut. 25:18). They are therefore a "cold" people. Haman's flesh, then, was cold, and so there was no problem of cross-contamination between the meat and the butter. (At most you'd have to remove a kelipah - but fine, Haman himself was the ultimate kelipah.)
OK. You have had enough. Consider the mitzvah fulfilled.
Obviously the Torah cannot enter the public domain (or even move 4 ammot within it) on Shabbat. We know (Shemot 19:12) that when the Torah was given (which was on Shabbat) Moshe made sure to erect a boundary around Har Sinai making it a private domain (Rambam Shabbat 14:1). We also know that the encampment of the Jews in the desert is a classical public ...
Because the Aruch HaShulchan (YD 24:13) rules to slaughter while standing rather than while sitting: אין לשחוט מיושב אלא מעומד
A Motorola RAZR is assur, as the paseuk says "you shall not take a RAZR to the corners of your face."
I would say that Google could not become a "Rabbi" because lo bashamayim hi and Google is in the Cloud (like a malach and not a Rabbi). If we don't take a psak from a direct bas kol then how can we accept a psak from someone who is eavesdropping from The Cloud.
Achshevei is a Halachik principle which allows one to make something into food by designating it as such. For instance, even if noone wants to eat burnt Chametz, if you eat it, you are Achshevei the Chametz to be considered food to you and it is assur. So here we have Achashveirosh = Achshevei Rosh: Even though his head didn't have a brain in it, since he ...
Achashvei is a paragraph lead by the chazan (and followed by the congregation) on our holiest day. It starts Achash, Achashvei achash, Achashvei shtaim, etc. The Chazan who leads the paragraph is given the title Achashvei Rosh. Because the king of Persia was an Achashvei Rosh, this holy day is called Yom KiPurim.
Hashem himself tends to favour a Windows phone as it says: משגיח מן החלונות - He watches from his Windows [phone]
What you should do is combine this with matanos la'evyonim, by sending to poor people. That way you're making the heretical declaration (at least according to Turnus Rufus, Bava Basra 10a) that even though Hashem isn't providing for them, you are.
The answer is simple. It is true that Haman was filled with butter early in the megilla. But if you read on, you will find out what the end of this story was. In Esther 7:6: והמן נבעת מלפני המלך והמלכה והמלך קם בחמתו ממשתה היין אל גנת הביתן And Haman was terrified before the king and queen, and so the king arose with his [Haman's] butter from the ...
We read in Lecha Dodi "ימין ושמאל תפרוצי", "[To] Right and Left shall you spread [out]". Thus, we derive that we must produce politicians within all facets of the spectrum.
The answer is that on ערב פסח we say "כל חמירא דאיכא ברשותי... ליבטל", which includes even the חמירא סכנתא מאיסורא; thus, there's no need for concern about the water. This also explains why we don't eat the מצה until פסח. If it were allowed even ערב פסח, people would err and eat it before the ביטול, which is dangerous, so a לא פלוג was instituted to cover ...
According to Stack Exchange, moderators are custodians and human exception-handlers. When's the last time you saw a king doing his own custodial work?
Tehillim 19:4 אֵֽין־אֹ֭מֶר וְאֵ֣ין דְּבָרִ֑ים בְּ֝לִ֗י נִשְׁמָ֥ע קוֹלָֽם׃ No one speaks and nothing happens without its sound being heard. So apparently, not only does it not make a sound, it didn't happen at all! (Since sometimes trees do fall in the forest, say that animals heard it.)
Have you ever noticed a child when he falls, if he sees someone he will cry, however if no one is around he will keep quiet? Ki Ha'Adam Eitz Ha'Sadeh - trees are compared to people. Trees only make noise when they fall if someone is there, if no one is there they remain quiet. (Megilas Eitzim 15:26)
From davening: וּבְסֵפֶר חַיִּים, בְּרָכָה וְשָׁלוֹם, וּפַרְנָסָה טוֹבָה , נִזָּכֵר וְנִכָּתֵב לְפָנֶיךָ, אֲנַחְנוּ וְכָל-עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, לְחַיִּים טוֹבִים וּלְשָׁלוֹם. לחיים טובים is clearly a reference to LG, which stands for "Life's Good".
Unfortunately, this is nothing more than a common misconception which stems from ignorance and from a lack of proper education in certain communities. Hamentashen are not required to have 3 sides. There's a famous derasha from the spelling of the word haman: just like a מ has 3 sides, a ה has two and a half, and a ן has one and a bit, so too a hamentashen: ...
"Chush" means "to feel" Thus "Achash" -- "I shall feel" "Vei" as in "Oy vey!" Thus: "I shall feel ouch!" And Achashvei-rosh: "I shall feel ouch in my head!"
A moderator is more of a shoter than a melekh, from D'varim 16:18: שֹׁפְטִ֣ים וְשֹֽׁטְרִ֗ים תִּֽתֶּן־לְךָ֙ בְּכָל־שְׁעָרֶ֔יךָ This is clearly plural.
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