Hot answers tagged purim-torah-in-jest
19
In parashas B'ha'alosecha (B. 11), the b'nei Yisrael cried out "מִי יַאֲכִלֵנוּ בָּשָׂר"- who will feed us meat- "אֵין כֹּל--בִּלְתִּי, אֶל-הַמָּן עֵינֵינוּ"- we have nothin to look at except Haman.
If Haman was meat, why are they complaining for meat? It must be that Haman became filled with butter which replaced the meat that used to be there.
17
Avos says:
יהושע בן פרחיה אומר עשה לך רב וקנה לך חבר והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות
Y'hoshua ben Prachya says: Make yourself much and buy yourself a friend; and be judging everyone toward the scalepan of merit.
"Buy yourself a friend" means that you should only be friends with someone on a social-networking site for which you pay a membership fee. In ...
17
Follow the instructions of the Rambam (De'os 1:7):
וההולך בדרך זומביא טובה וברכה לעצמו
One who goes the way of the zombie — good and blessing to him.
There's nothing wrong with being a zombie, so don't try to escape being turned into one. You just need to have a positive attitude about it.
16
Haman is a descendant of Amalek, of whom it says אשר קרך בדרך - he cooled you off on the way (Deut. 25:18). They are therefore a "cold" people. Haman's flesh, then, was cold, and so there was no problem of cross-contamination between the meat and the butter. (At most you'd have to remove a kelipah - but fine, Haman himself was the ultimate kelipah.)
14
The answer is that on ערב פסח we say "כל חמירא דאיכא ברשותי... ליבטל", which includes even the חמירא סכנתא מאיסורא; thus, there's no need for concern about the water.
This also explains why we don't eat the מצה until פסח. If it were allowed even ערב פסח, people would err and eat it before the ביטול, which is dangerous, so a לא פלוג was instituted to cover ...
13
Achashvei is a paragraph lead by the chazan (and followed by the congregation) on our holiest day. It starts Achash, Achashvei achash, Achashvei shtaim, etc. The Chazan who leads the paragraph is given the title Achashvei Rosh. Because the king of Persia was an Achashvei Rosh, this holy day is called Yom KiPurim.
12
The answer is simple. It is true that Haman was filled with butter early in the megilla. But if you read on, you will find out what the end of this story was. In Esther 7:6:
והמן נבעת מלפני המלך והמלכה והמלך קם בחמתו ממשתה היין אל גנת הביתן
And Haman was terrified before the king and queen, and so the king arose with his [Haman's] butter from the ...
12
Achshevei is a Halachik principle which allows one to make something into food by designating it as such. For instance, even if noone wants to eat burnt Chametz, if you eat it, you are Achshevei the Chametz to be considered food to you and it is assur.
So here we have Achashveirosh = Achshevei Rosh: Even though his head didn't have a brain in it, since he ...
10
It can't be, because the verse (Genesis 22:3) states:
וישכם אברהם בבקר
And Avraham rose early in the morning
but we know the Rama rules (Shulchan Aruch OC 281:1) that we start davening late on Shabbat morning. Therefore, we can conclude that it was not Shabbat for Avraham on that day.
Furthermore, Genesis 27:25 relates about Yitzchak:
ויגש לו ...
10
Unfortunately, this is nothing more than a common misconception which stems from ignorance and from a lack of proper education in certain communities. Hamentashen are not required to have 3 sides. There's a famous derasha from the spelling of the word haman: just like a מ has 3 sides, a ה has two and a half, and a ן has one and a bit, so too a hamentashen: ...
10
The words of Torah are compared to glass, because they're easily lost like glass vessels, and because a Torah scholar who sinned can still do teshuvah, like glass that can be resmelted (Chagigah 15a).
Glass can (in some cases) be kashered using מילוי ועירוי - filling and pouring. A non-kosher sefer Torah, then, can be kashered in the same way: the sofer ...
10
B'reshis 11:3:
ותהי להם הלבנה לאבן והחמר היה להם לחמר
The moon wailed to the Rock over them; and the donkey was a stringency for them.
This teaches us that the moon's complaint over its size was actually "over them", that is, for the Jews. For the moon knew that the Jews would be compared to it, and was therefore protesting its size. For this reason, ...
10
One consequence is that Achashverosh had two mothers-in-law. This is further evidenced by the fact that the megilla provides both their names:
"כְּשֹׁךְ, חֲמַת הַמֶּלֶךְ אֲחַשְׁוֵרוֹש" - "Keshoch, the mother-in-law of Achashverosh". (Esther 2:1)
"וַחֲמַת הַמֶּלֶךְ שָׁכָכָה" - "And the mother-in-law of Achashverosh was Shachacha". (Esther 7:10)
9
Apparently not.
Haman, as we know from various midrashim, was quite learned. Doubtless he knew the Rambam that says that בימות החמה... ואוכל את החומץ, during the summer months one should eat vinegar. Since Ester's party was right at the beginning of the summer months, on Pesach, Haman was preparing vinegary food — pickles, in fact — right there ...
9
Actually the Tzadokim (Sadducees)
interpreted the Torah, when it says
"haster astir" to mean that just
like Hashem wears a double mask, we
must as well. So they held everyone
should wear a mask on top of another
mask on Purim. (No wonder they lost
adherents and disappeared long ago!
Try drinking wine through two masks!)
Since the ...
9
Would Chalav Nochrei be a problem? Most hold that since butter can only be made from kosher animals this is not a problem (is this a proof that Haman was kosher?), some are machmir that maybe some non-kosher milk would be mixed in and hence it would sit on the top the butter. (SA YD115:3)
But in truth I think that it is cholev yisroel and it was Mordechei ...
9
There's a famous concept that:
"כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה" - all Jews are 'crows' to one another.
The medrash makes a derasha: "just like crows can congregate with nothing more than their voices, so too, the proper way for Jews to attempt being reunited is through tefila and not through Facebook."
(This derasha is probably more well known for the problems ...
9
Chalav Zachor answer this problem. The Mechaber (SA YD87:6) say eating meat with "male" milk is "aino lokin" - ie osser drabbanan. But the Rama (ibid) says that it is nothing - ie muter. The Shach (16) explains that the mechaber is referring to animal male milk, which is osser drabbanan to eat with milk, but the Rama is referring to human male milk, which is ...
9
It mentions in the Megilla "מחשבת המן" - Haman had a computer.
Which type of computer could he have? The Gemara says that Haman is connected to "Hamin Heitz" - Haman is a tree. The only tree computer that exists is an Apple, Therefore, Haman was an Apple.
Now, Apples are known to be stable computers. Yet, Haman was still able to be hung.
9
Looks like your preschooler got caught up in a false cognate. The word has nothing to do with a rosh. It's meaning actually derives from the way it's spelled:
Alef = 1
Ches = 8
Shoresh = root
This is a reference to a thing with 8 roots, which is a m'nora. (Normally they would be branches but v'nahafoch hu.) This alludes to the well-known fact that ...
9
Zombies are actually quite problematic, though the problem seems to be with only one female zombie, Kol Haron Api, as Zephania (3:8) said:
כִּי מִשְׁפָּטִי לֶאֱסֹף גּוֹיִם לְקָבְצִי מַמְלָכוֹת, לִשְׁפֹּךְ עֲלֵיהֶם זַעְמִי, כֹּל חֲרוֹן אַפִּי, כִּי בְּאֵשׁ קִנְאָתִי, תֵּאָכֵל כָּל-הָאָרֶץ
Because My judgment is to gather the nations to heap upon them ...
8
Yes, this fulfills the mitzva. As the g'mara says:
כל המבקר חולה נוטל אחד, מששים בצערו
Whoever visits a sick person washes one hand; they are feeling his pain.
Obviously this is not referring to visiting in person. As signs all over the hospital inform you, you should wash both hands when visiting in person. So it must be referring to visiting on ...
8
Another answer is that indeed the שלנו in מים שלנו is significant. Since it's "our water," then it's not subject to the law about poisoning, because אין אדם אוסר דבר שאינו שלו.
But, you'll object, a snake is not an אדם. The answer is that once it emits venom it has the status of one, as it says, אם נשך הנחש - את איש, "If the snake bites - [it is] a person" ...
8
On Superbowl Sunday itself, supporters of both teams should say Tachanun as well as Selichot, as we do on the date of the war - 13 Adar.1
On the day after Superbowl Sunday, supporters of the winning team, wherever they live, will probably sleep through Shacharit. If they make it in time for Tachanun, they should skip it, as we do on the date of the ...
8
Your mistake is in assuming that zombie-tude is the same as resurrection of the dead. Re-animation is not the same as resurrection, as we learn from Ezekiel:
וְרָאִיתִי וְהִנֵּה-עֲלֵיהֶם גִּדִים, וּבָשָׂר עָלָה, וַיִּקְרַם עֲלֵיהֶם עוֹר, מִלְמָעְלָה; וְרוּחַ, אֵין בָּהֶם.
And I beheld, and, lo, there were sinews upon them, and flesh came up, and ...
7
Okay here goes: normally issurim are batel b'shishim and venom is not. (See Magen Avraham with regards to fish-and-meat). But on Pesach, chametz isn't, so the halacha of Batel B'Shishim complained bitterly to Hashem "what about me!?" (his normally-bored kid brother, Batel B'rov, was having a grand old time playing with kitniyos galore, though he had to do so ...
7
Actually, the only issur is by mayim megulin, water of exiled people. Water used to celebrate geulah is exempt from this prohibition.
In fact, it is in recognition of this freedom from our Egyptian masters and our newly found rights to ownership that we call this water "mayim shelanu".
7
Actually, it's not a Mitzva by itself, but it almost became one, as documented in this passage from Meigillat Esther (From Esther's Joy): Transcripts of Esther's Joyful Conversations in the Wake of the Shushan Salvation, by Hatach.*
This conversation was recorded when Esther and Mordechai were working out what the four Mitzvot of Purim should be. They ...
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