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28

The Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 4:13 says that a ben or bat niddah is 'pagum' (defective). The Beit Shemuel, Chelkat Mechokek and Gra (the major commentaries there) all say that this does not exclude them from marrying a kohein.


24

Someone asked this of Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer, a major posek on these matters in Baltimore. He said without hesitation that it was permissible. His interpretation of the prohibition on "s'chok vekalut rosh" is "behavior that is suggestive or disinhibiting." I don't see a normal "I love you" as either of those.


18

The Gemara says in Kiddushin that it's derived from a verse "ותהי נדתה עליו" - that even when one is a Nidda, there still is "Haviya" (marriage). Therefore, Kiddushin by a nidda works. If so, there are no issues of Mamzeirus.


13

Rav Ovadia Yosef (Torat HaTahara 12:54, Taharat HaBayit vol 2 pp. 167-170) permits it.


13

Yes, someone who eats impure food becomes impure themselves (Rambam Shar Avot Hatumah 8:10). However, this needs some perspective. Niddah is one kind of impurity, and another one is that of a corpse (see Numbers 19). The procedure for purifying oneself of Niddah-impurity is by using a mikvah which can and is done today regularly. The procedure for purifying ...


13

Rabbi Isaac ben Sheshet was asked (Responsum 425) why no rabbinic edict requiring unmarried women to regularly purify themselves in the Mivka was ever enacted in order to minimize the transgressions of those who engage in extra-marital sexual contact. (I note the whole basis of the question is that in the days when women regularly or even semi-regularly were ...


11

A person whose wife is nidah is still obligated to love her as much as he loves himself; anything he says in order to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted (Nit'ei Gavriel 33:4 and footnote 8). So I guess to say "I love you" to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted, but to say it for no reason may be closer to lightheadedness.


11

YD §193 is about this. It is too comprehensive a discussion for me to adequately address here. Some basic points, however: Blood which comes from a wound - דם מכה - does not render a woman a Niddah. Technically speaking, hymeneal bleeding - דם בתולים - is blood from a wound. However, due to certain Halachic concerns, various amora'im (and some tanna'im ...


11

Per Rabbi Shimon Eider's Sefer Hilchos Nidah one should "refrain from listening to his wife's singing when she is a Niddah."


10

Tough question. I know a lot of nerves can be frazzled by this one. In Temple times, when ritual purity affected all sorts of aspects of daily life, this might be a different question; but today, women's regular use of mikva is only to end the status of nida. On the one hand, the woman would like to increase her religious observance (a wonderful thing), ...


10

Basically, if a couple has valid reason to not have children right now, then a pill that prevents menstruation is fine. Judaism regards having children as a mitzvah, though (as in many things in life) it's complicated and there are caveats. It's recommended -- and according to some, required -- that a couple consult with their rabbi first before using birth ...


10

This article from Dr J Menczer indicates that although there is a significantly lower incidence of cervical cancer amongst Jews it is not due to family purity laws, as even Jews who do not observe these laws have a lower incidence of cervical cancer.


10

It's of Biblical force and punishable as such, but yes we need to apply the Oral Law (namely one of Rabbi Yishamel's 13 principles) to spell it out. Rambam Laws of Prohibitions on Relations 4:3: ד,ג במה דברים אמורים שהטומאה תלויה בימים, בשטבלה במי מקוה אחר הימים הספורים. אבל נידה וזבה ויולדת שלא טבלו במי מקוה--הבא על אחת מהן, אפילו אחר כמה שנים--חייב ...


10

רמב"ם Hilchos Isurei Biah 4:4 writes הגויים--אין חייבין עליהם משום נידה Non-Jews – one is not culpable for violations of Niddah with them … However (although this wasn't the question), there is a non-Niddah Kares for relations with a non-Jew (h/t to DoubleAA) - Even HaEzer 16:2 הבא על העובדת כוכבים, אם לא פגעו בו קנאים ולא הלקוהו בית דין, הרי ...


10

Practically speaking, the wedding goes ahead as planned, with minor differences at the ceremony: The groom is careful not to touch the bride when putting the ring on her finger. The groom does not hand the Ketuba to the bride. The bride & groom do not hold hands after the ceremony. The Yichud-room has another person present; usually hiding there in ...


9

According to Rebbetzin Faige Luban, a kallah teacher in Edison, NJ, it is required.


8

Yes, such classes exist, and are recommended for potential bridegrooms. Speak to the rabbi of any orthodox synagogue, and he should be able to direct you someone who can tutor you in this field. So, I suspect, can the head or mashgiach of any bes midrash. Covered topics are hilchos nida and v'sasos, k'vod ishto, and others, though the exact list varies from ...


8

The opinion of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein -- which I've heard quoted by several prominent American Ashkenazi authorities on Laws of Nida -- is that the "modesty" required of a woman in her own home, when she's a nida, is not the full set that would apply for going out in public (e.g. hair covering). Rather, it's whatever she would normally feel comfortable ...


8

When I got married I was told by my Rabbi who gave me a Choson Shmeus that it is the husbands responsibility. I have no idea what you are talking about when you say "The man often wants to know why, which they are usually reluctant to tell him". I never asked why on a Psak and if I did my Rav would not hesitate to explain. You say "The man often asks is ...


8

I really wouldn't call them "chumra" days. They're rabbinically required. And they protect you in case any period is at all funny, you could wind up in a zava situation -- or nida-still-within-the-seven -- without knowing it (in which case mikva and everything accomplishes nothing, it would still be liable to Karet.) It's not just about being "careful." If ...


8

The source of this exception from dam makkah is a mishna on Niddah 64b, and the gemara on Niddah 65b. There's a big machloket in the Rishonim about the reason why we have this exception to the general rule that blood from a wound is not niddah blood. I don't know them all of the top of my head, and I recommend The Laws and Concepts of Niddah by Rabbi Zvi ...


8

Nowadays a woman becomes a Niddah during childbirth, as we pasken (or: have taken upon as a Halacha) that most vaginal discharges cause Niddah. Some very specific colors are except, but it needs training to discern them. Since childbirth includes a lot of blood, we assume that some of the blood may be Niddah-blood and since we cannot tell the bloods apart (...


7

Rav Mordechai Eliyahu (Darchei Tahorah, 5:64) forbids it, as does the Ben Ish Chai (Second Year, Parshat Tzav, #25).


7

The Debreciner in Shaalos U'Tshuvos Beer Moshe Chelek 3 Siman 123 says that the Minhag is to allow one to play Dreidel with their wife while she is a Niddah. However he recommends making a Heker* - either by each one using their own Draidel or any other type of Heker. If the entire family is playing and they are not sitting next to each other then you can ...


7

There are two basic schools of thought about this principle cited by Rebbi Zeira. The Talmud in Niddah 66a is the most primary source for the discussion of this. אמר רב התקין רבי בשדות ראתה יום אחד תשב ששה והוא שנים תשב ששה והן שלשה תשב שבעה נקיים אמר ר' זירא בנות ישראל החמירו על עצמן שאפילו רואות טפת דם כחרדל יושבות עליה שבעה נקיים Rav said: Rebbi ...


7

There's a Sefer by that name from 90 years ago - תרפג/1923. A search of HebrewBooks.org seems to show that the term was not used [much] earlier. A search of Toras Emeth Software indicates that it's not used in any of the classics (Mishna, Gemara, Rambam, Shulchan Aruch) and the earliest it finds is from the קיצור ש''ע ילקוט יוסף - the 2nd half of the 20th ...


7

This opinion is cited in the Taz YD 193 sk 4 and 196 sk 5. The idea is roughly that for hymenal bleeding, which only effects a Niddah Derabanan, there is no need to be stringent to add a 5th day. After any ordinary menstrual bleeding, this wouldn't apply. "Marriage" technically has nothing to do with it.


6

The short answer is yes there is room for leniency, but as always (and especially in something like this), a competent halachic authority should be consulted. As I heard it from a rabbi who was offering a review shiur on the subject: The original practice was for a woman to wear libunim, freshly-laundered clothes. The idea was that often garments had all ...



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