Hot answers tagged men-male
12
I have heard from my father that my great-grandfather zal, when (in the 1920s) he moved to the States and got a job as rabbi in Canonsburg, Penna., was approached by the women in shul after t'fila Shabas morning with hands outstretched, and promptly acquired the custom of raising his hat.
11
I personally saw that my Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Azriel Chaim Goldfein ZT"L, a talmid muvhak (close student) of Rav Mordechai Gifter would shake the hand of any woman who extended her hand to him in greeting.
I never had the guts to question him on this, but my presumption is that he weighed the prohibition on touching a woman, which is Rabbinic if not sensual ...
11
Aside from simply giving a short explanation as to why you wont shake hands (which itself can cause people to become offended no matter how polite you are about it), there is not much else you can do that isn't deceitful (claiming sickness) or just weird (bowing, accidentally missing). If you are going to follow the ruling that under no circumstances can you ...
10
In my and others' experience, the reaction to a refusal to shake hands varies depending on the person, from offense to awkwardness to amusement to respectfulness. Perhaps as tactful as you can get is to do the following:
Apologize and explain: "I'm sorry, but religiously, I try to avoid unnecessary contact with women (other than my wife)." No need to go ...
9
Of course, as the comment notes, consult your local Orthodox rabbi.
But see here for a halacha sheet shown before and approved by Rav Shternbuch:
If one’s wife is not home must the husband light the candles?
Seeing that men are obligated to light Shabbos candles as much as women are, if the wife is not present it is up to the husband to light the ...
9
From the Sefer Nishmas Avraham Siman 182
וכן שמעתי מהגרש״ז אויערבאך זצ״ל
לגבי בחור שצמחו לו שערות בין שתי
גבות עיניו שזה נקרא מום ומותר לו
להסירם: Uni brow is called a blemish and it can be removed.
The Shulchan Aruch 182:1 itself holds like the Rambam that one can remove other hair from the body with scissors except for the armpits and bais ha'erva. ...
8
Yes, such classes exist, and are recommended for potential bridegrooms. Speak to the rabbi of any orthodox synagogue, and he should be able to direct you someone who can tutor you in this field. So, I suspect, can the head or mashgiach of any bes midrash. Covered topics are hilchos nida and v'sasos, k'vod ishto, and others, though the exact list varies from ...
7
Although Shulchan Aruch YD 182:6 forbids a man to do so, placing it in the category of "women's dress", he continues to forbid looking in a mirror as well.
A parenthetical notation (Rema?)is made following the mirror halacha sending you to YD 156 were the Rema quotes those who say that this law is dependant on whether men customarily look in a mirror or if ...
7
Once meeting a potential client, the director (female) extended her hand to shake, I quickly pulled a business card from my pocket and gave it to her, it worked but when leaving she wanted to shake my hand again, I simply said I'm sorry and she quickly understood. maybe my black suit and black kipa helped (can't remember if I had my hat also).
In any case ...
7
Always assume the person is shomer nagiah until they give you a hand, or you see them touch another person who isn't their spouse.
I do this even with non-Jews, because you never know if they don't like to be touched or don't like to touch people.
http://isitnormal.com/story/i-dont-like-to-be-touched-29913/
From this summary of the research of touching:
...
7
The Talmud (Kiddushin 29a) derives that the obligation to redeem lies solely on the father, and then the son himself if the father did not redeem him.
The Shulchan Aruch rules this way in YD 305:1 and 305:15 and explicitly excludes the mother in 305:2. I don't know of anyone who debates these rulings.
In terms of your story, I have heard a similar story ...
7
When I got married I was told by my Rabbi who gave me a Choson Shmeus that it is the husbands responsibility.
I have no idea what you are talking about when you say "The man often wants to know why, which they are usually reluctant to tell him". I never asked why on a Psak and if I did my Rav would not hesitate to explain.
You say "The man often asks is ...
6
Short Version: Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik and others are of the opinion that it is permitted for one who regularly shaves to shave, and since it is permitted it is a mitzva to do so, so as not to look disgraceful on chol hamoed (Source). Rav Moshe Feinstein makes a similar argument in Igrot Moshe OC I 163.
Long Version: The Mishna in Moed Katan 3:1 (page ...
6
Mishnah Berurah (8:24) says that "in our times" it is customary to do so, and says that indeed it's better to do it this way. First of all, he says, if you say the two berachos back-to-back, then then one of those berachos is unnecessary. Second, even if you put the tallis katan and tallis gadol on at different times (and say the two berachos separately), ...
6
Piskei Teshuvos in the beginning of Siman 2 cites Igros Moshe and other Acharonim who delineate the guidelines of modesty as it applies to men. The points that emerge are:
1) Modest dressing for men is not an absolute obligation, but it is very significant (וצריך ליזהר etc.)
2) The definition of immodest in this respect is if you'd be embarrassed to be ...
6
"Dog tags" are worn primarily, and until recently almost exclusively, by men. It would be very difficult to justify labeling them a womens garment.
A more likely problem is that when one wears them outside of their intended purpose, i.e. as a style rather than to to identify a soldier, it may be similar to wearing a sword which may present a problem of ...
6
Most forms of "beged isha" (the prohibition on men wearing women's clothing) all depend on a given society's norms of what's called "men's clothing" vs "women's clothing." (E.g. a kilt is okay in places where men wear them!) While certain actions or categories may be objectively off-limits as "beged isha", I've never heard anything about a necklace-like ...
6
Here's a quote from Halacha for Today (Question 260):
Q: Could you tell me if it is permissible for a man to dye his hair?
A: A man may not dye his hair if doing so for beauty or to hide white hair etc. as this is a biblical transgression of "Lo Tilbash" not to wear (or otherwise imitate) the ways of the opposite gender. This includes dying hair, ...
6
Although they're marginal, there are authorities who discuss this.
In Sefer HaChinuch, at the end of Mitzvah # 188 (קפח):
ונוהגת בכל מקום ובכל זמן בזכרים ונקבות. שגם להן אסור להרהר אחר האנשים זולתי בבעליהן, שעליהם ראוי להן להמשיך כל חשקן וחפצן, וכן יעשו בנות ישראל הכשירות. ועובר עליה וקרב אל הערוה קירוב בשר כדי שיהנה ממנה, במזיד ובהתראה לוקה, ואם עבר ...
6
Basically, we don't have the power to declare someone categorically exempt. Abudraham suggested one explanation, but our system of laws categorically says "all men are obligated", "all women are not."
If a person is truly in a situation beyond their control, halacha recognize that. If it's five minutes before sunset and a single dad who hasn't yet prayed ...
5
The Shaalos U'Teshuvos Minchas Shlomo (Chelek 2 Siman 82 Ois 7) discusses whether a man may have plastic surgery when it is being done due to discomfort rather than for beautification. For example if his nose is very unusual. The Minchas Shlomo writes that it is allowed. In addition he writes that for this reason it is permitted to dye or pluck white hairs ...
5
I've heard that a certain prominent Rosh Yeshiva flashes a smile and says, "Oh, that's not necessary!" This won't work for all people and in all situations, however.
Having a business card ready to hand over (as mentioned by Avraham and Ariel) is a more generally useful idea. Rav Lazer Brody reportedly uses halvah bars, as humorously recounted here.
5
TK, although I cannot definitively answer your questions, I can touch on some of the issues that I have discussed with an authority:
"Mixed swimming" is a subset of forbidden relations (abizrayhu d'arayos)- loosely translated as promiscuity. However this would apply only when in the pool in proximity, but not when a male is on one side of a large pool and ...
5
While I appreciate the desire for sources, you must understand that the issur of lo yilbash is much more subjective than many or most other halachos. Most likely you're familiar with opinions which prohibit from looking in mirrors, but that isn't necessarily the practice today when it is common for males to pay attention to their appearance in the mirror.
I ...
5
From here:
The Shulchan Aruch prohibits shaving (Simon 531:2, SS”K 66:23) and it is the prevalent custom. Rav Moshe Feinstein (Ig”M O"C vol. I simon 163) discusses this issue at length and many are accustomed to be lenient based on the Nodah Biyhuda. Rav Moshe Feinstein concludes that he is not accustomed to be lenient unless in certain cases or for ...
5
Yes. It is normal in our current Western society for men to do such things (certainly for a unibrow), and the rule of thumb for Lo Yilbash is if it's normal, it's not forbidden (Shulchan Aruch and Rema YD 182:1). R. Akiva Eiger (ad loc.) cites a Perisha who writes that we look at the non-Jewish society around us to determine what is normal.
5
Per Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu it is not proper to give names such as Rephaela, Daniela, etc.
כמו כן ראוי לא לקרוא לבת בשם הדומה בשורשו לשם של בן, כמו: רפאלה,
דניאלה, שרונה, יוספה וכדומה. שזה עלול להפריע לילדה כשתגדל להיזכר תמיד
על שם פלוני שעל שמו היא קרויה.
5
Dancing with one's spouse in public when they could touch each other in private: ill-advised. Shulchan Aruch warns against excess physical affection with one's wife in public. (In "Fiddler on the Roof", Tevye demands that the rabbi rule whether it is absolutely forbidden, and the rabbi hesitates; it's a "shouldn't." Some measure of privacy is called for in a ...
5
There are two opinions in the medrash cited in Aryeh's answer; R' Yehuda permits women gazing upon men. His opinion is accepted by Sh'muel in B'rachos 48b. Although R' Yochanan follows R' Yosi's interpretation of the pasuk there, the gemara does not record that he added the phrase אם כן עשית בנות ישראל כזונות. In fact, R' Yochanan himself allowed women to ...
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