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16

The latter. If it's called "marriage", it's beyond just what we want. Religion is about things greater than ourselves. Rabbi Haskel Lookstein has, for many years, taught a high school course on Jewish sexual ethics. A few years ago he asked his students how they felt about "spouse swapping", and they assumed that if no one was hurt and all were in ...


12

Shulchan Aruch OC 339:4 rules that one should not perform Kiddushin (betrothal) or Nissuin (marriage) on Shabbat or Yom Tov. However he notes that if one did so, even on purpose, it works and the couple is fully married. The prohibition originates in the Mishna (Beitza 5:2). The Babylonian Talmud (36b per Tosfot) explains that this is a rabbinic prohibition ...


12

Thank you and welcome to the site. We hope this is a theoretical question; however, Judaism covers the difficult cases too. First off, this isn't pleasant to bring up, but not all forms of rape would be of halachic consequence to the question at hand; but we'll assume here that this was conventional full penetration, which would present an issue. The Kohen ...


11

First things first, You're human. You can't help being attracted to women, Gd made you that way. Only the whens and wheres are your responsibility. Also remember that this area is a very difficult one to conquer, so don't get down on yourself if you fail to climb Everest the first few, or dozen, or hundred times. Getting a warning beforehand helps, so you ...


10

As I understand it, if a Kohen is certain that his wife was violated by another man, their union is now prohibited and a divorce would be needed. A kohen is prohibited from being married to an isha zonah, which the Talmud defines as a woman who has had relations with any man -- regardless of her choice in the matter! -- other than her husband, with the ...


9

No. According to Jewish law, if a Jewish man gives a single Jewish woman an item of intrinsic value with both clearly understanding intent of marriage, in front of two ritual witnesses, then they are married. A rabbi has no intrinsic power to "marry" a couple. He's there to referee that they're following the rules (e.g. make sure he's actually giving her a ...


8

There are two steps to marriage in Judaism: Kiddushin and Nisuin. Once those two are completed, the couple is married. In our days, the first act, Kidushin, is generally done by giving the Kallah a ring. The second act is done in a variety of ways (as what constitutes Nisuin is actually a Machlokes). The Chuppah is one such view, the Yichud room is another ...


8

The commandment to avoid negative reactions is on you, not your wife nor her friends. Of course they shouldn't be deliberately provocative, but if, for example, a normal conversation held in one part of your house bothers you in another part because of kol isha, or if the visitor is dressed appropriately and you are still distracted, this is largely a ...


7

Basically a member of any tribe could marry any other tribe; tribal identity is passed through the father. If Susan, an Asher-ite, marries Bob, a Levite, their children are Levites. (You'd probably still identify Susan herself as being from the tribe of Asher, but it doesn't affect that much. E.g. we're told that Samson's father was from Dan, but his mother ...


7

Mother (B) Mother's mother (R) Mother's mother's... mother (R) Mother's father's mother (R) Father's mother (R) Father's mother's... mother (R) Father's father's mother (R) Father's wife (B) Father's father's wife (R) Father's father's... father's wife (R) Mother's father's wife (R) Father's mother's father's wife (R; some permit) Father's paternal ...


7

The word here is "betulah", which specifically means "virgin." ("alma" is simply "young woman.") Many translators prefer "maiden" as it implies virginity but it's less explicit. Your assumption is basically correct. The Torah has laws about what happens if a "betrothed" (i.e. married, but unconsummated) virgin cheats on her husband, or is raped. ...


7

The word means "virgin". M'tzudas David (commentary on Joel) says it refers to someone mourning over her first husband, that is the husband she had married when she had been a virgin. (Hence also the "husband of her youth" bit.) A woman is closer, he explains, to such a husband than to a second husband.


7

Rav Herschel Schachter told me that the reason they do it is because they are afraid that a hair will be left out of the mikveh when they do tevila. To avoid this problem they shave their heads. I have also heard that they suspect that there will be tangles, which are חציצה for the tevila, so they shave their heads. Neither of these reasons would really ...


7

Well, here's Rambam Laws of Husbandhood Ch. 14: יד,י [ח] האישה שמנעה בעלה מתשמיש המיטה--היא הנקראת מורדת, ושואלין אותה מפני מה מרדה: אם אמרה, מאסתיהו ואיני יכולה להיבעל לו מדעתי--כופין אותו להוציא לשעתו, לפי שאינה בשביה שתיבעל לשנוי לה; ותצא בלא כתובה כלל, ותיטול בליותיה הקיימין, בין מנכסים שהכניסה לבעלה ונתחייב באחריותן, בין מנכסים שלא נתחייב ...


7

Yes, but it's not recommended- The "orchestrator" of the wedding makes sure nothing goes wrong. The sages say that anyone who does not know the marriage laws well should not get involved with them (kiddushin 6a), as many mistakes can result. פרש"י : בטיב גיטין. בהלכותיהן : לא יהא לו עסק עמהם. להיות דיין בדבר שמא יתיר איסור ערוה וזהו עיוות שאינו יכול ...


7

Based on 45+ years of marriage, I can assure you that whatever you say to your wife (other than the two most important words in a marriage) would probably not help. Rabbi Moshe Heinemann in his pre-pesach shiurim will emphasize that you do not have to go overboard (and the women do not accept that). Rabbi Avigdor Miller in his tapes on the subject tries to ...


6

It is important to note that the husband must "believe" his wife in order for them to need a divorce. There is a very pertinent teshuva from R' Moshe Feinstein (אגרות משה אה"ע א' סימן כ"ד) in which he writes that the criteria for "belief" is different from what one may imagine. In essence, according to him, even if a husband says he believes his wife, we ...


6

"Seven days of impurity." Actually it's more like 12-ish. The Torah states that if a woman experiences an unusual flow, she needs to wait for it to end, and then count seven clean days. For the last ~1600 years, we operate with the rule of thumb that we don't know what's called "usual" or "unusual", and thus it's duration of bleeding, or 5 days, ...


6

The context is as follows: ג' אין רואין פני גיהנם אלו הן דקדוקי עניות וחולי מעיין והרשות ויש אומרים אף מי שיש לו אשה רעה ואידך אשה רעה מצוה לגרשה ואידך זימנין דכתובתה מרובה אי נמי אית ליה בנים מינה ולא מצי מגרש לה למאי נפקא מינה לקבולי מאהבה Three kinds of person do not see the face of Gehenna, viz., [one who suffers from] oppressive poverty, one ...


6

I believe the earliest source is Pirkei Derabbi Eliezer Chapter 16. החתן דומה למלך מה המלך הכל מקלסין אותו שבעת ימי המשתה כך חתן הכל מקלסין אותו שבעת ימי המשתה מה המלך לובש בגדי כבוד כך החתן לובש בגדי כבוד מה המלך שמחה ומשתה לפניו כל הימים כך החתן שמחה ומשתה לפניו כל שבעת ימים מה המלך אינו יוצא לשוק לבדו כך החתן אינו יוצא לשוק לבדו מה המלך פניו מאירות ...


5

"Married in G-d's eyes" is an awfully hazy phrase. We believe that G-d gave us laws that tell us what marriage is (and isn't). What effects marriage between a Jewish man and woman, in theory, could be relations, but that would require intent and witnesses (well witnessing seclusion). Maimonides, Laws of Husbandry Ch. 3 And the Talmud says this is a ...


5

Welcome to J.SE! The Talmud prescribes extra blessings to be said at any after-parties held several days after the wedding; if it's an "encore wedding" (as Miss Manners would say), that period is a few days shorter. But as for the dancing at the wedding itself, it's really a matter of taste decided by the people involved. My impression is the most common ...


5

The Rambam (Isurei Biah 18:6 (English)) rules regarding when a woman becomes forbidden to a Kohein as a Zonah: כל הנבעלת לאדם שעושה אותה זונה--בין באונס בין ברצון, בין בזדון בין בשגגה, בין כדרכה בין שלא כדרכה--משהערה* בה, נפסלה משום זונה: ובלבד שתהיה בת שלוש שנים ויום אחד, ויהיה הבועל בן תשע שנים ויום אחד ומעלה.‏ Whenever a woman engages in ...


5

Although I can not preclude any other opinions on the topic Rav Saadai Gaon writes: Likewise, apropos of the subject of marriage, I will say that our minds are capable only of grasping present state. As for what is forbidden or permitted in a situation that has no parallel at all in our earthly existence, such as whether or not marriage bonds will be ...


5

Halacha recognizes the difference between Jews and non-Jews. "Race" is such a hard-to-define concept that it would be pretty much impossible for any laws to exist in such general terms. You really would need to explain what you mean by "interracial" for us to give a concrete answer, but I would imagine that in any case, the answer to your question is that ...


5

In a nutshell: in U.S. state laws, a couple is "married" by a clergyman. (Alternatively, they could go to a justice of the peace or the like.) The laws vary from state to state as to what's called a clergyman; for instance, in New York City the congregation would sign a letter stating that he is "a pastor or associate pastor." From the perspective of Jewish ...


5

The last Lubavicher Rebbe did not divorce his wife, as we have not forced divorces after ten years, at least for half a millennium. I am not sure what the reasoning was for the change – if there ever was a change. It may be that rule has always just been taken to justify divorce. A undisputably infertile woman can still get married; either to an ...


5

A woman who prevents her husband from having relations with herself, is a מורדת - and this is grounds for divorce. Details can be found in the Rambam - הלכות אישות - Ch 14 (Halachot 10 - 15) and in Shulchan-Aruch Even-HaEzer Ch. 154:3-6 (למי שכופין להוציא בגט)


5

One big one that I know of and have experienced is that when assessing if the children of this marriage are Jewish later in life, many times the parents' Kesuba will be taken as important evidence of that - if it was an orthodox one.


4

The Midrash (Bereishis Rabbah 68:4, and other places) tells a story involving R. Yosei ben Chalafta and a Roman lady, where he tells her that since the six days of creation Hashem occupies Himself with making matches and redistributing wealth ("the daughter of A will marry B; the wife of C will marry D; the assets of E will go to F"); she mocks this and ...



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