Hot answers tagged marriage
31
You've come to the right place.
The Bible explicitly allowed a man to have more than one wife. Exodus 21:10 talks about making sure the first wife still gets the same resources and attention now that she's not the only one.
So yes, it was accepted in the times of Kings David and Solomon. Those kings are recorded as having quite a few wives (though ...
27
Here's a more cut and dry answer.
Talmud Bavli, Chulin 92a--b:
עולא אמר אלו שלשים מצות שקבלו עליהם בני נח ואין מקיימין אלא שלשה אחת
שאין כותבין כתובה לזכרים ואחת שאין שוקלין בשר המת במקולין ואחת שמכבדין את התורה
Said Ulla: There were thirty commandments that Noahides accepted, but they keep only three: not to write a ketuba for males; not to ...
24
And the other critical caveat here: this is only if she wants him to marry her. If she'd rather never see him again, then the Torah never forces her into such a marriage. Additionally, if she wants a divorce, she is still entitled to one whenever she wants even after they wed. (Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 177:3)
All I can say -- if this is a situation where ...
21
It is definitely allowed according to halachah; this teacher was probably speaking about what he felt was the pious and holy way to behave. But the truth is that one must be extremely careful when trying to act "beyond the letter of the law," that he should not damage his Sholom Bayis in the process. The Chazon Ish in his "Iggeres Kodesh" (cited in Mishkan ...
20
The Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 4:13 says that a ben or bat niddah is 'pagum' (defective). The Beit Shemuel, Chelkat Mechokek and Gra (the major commentaries there) all say that this is not to exclude them from a kohein.
19
The Chinuch says (in 557) it's a deterrent. Knowing they'll have to marry their potential victims (and won't be allowed to divorce them, and have to support them, etc.), people won't rape.
He adds (ibid.) that it's also a protection for the victim: once she's married she's unlikely to be raped again. (I guess people are more likely to rape someone already ...
18
I have no idea if this is the rationale behind the people who are making the phone calls, but what about this:
Midrash Rabbah (26:9) tells us that "The generation of the Flood was not wiped out until they wrote marriage documents for the union of a man to a male or to an animal." (here it is in English)
[Note that Marcus Jastrow translates "גמומסיות" as ...
17
Shprintza's sister (let's call her Breindel) was married to Chaim's brother (we'll call him Zundel), who has died childless. Chaim and Zundel had no other brothers, so Chaim is required to perform either yibbum or chalitzah with Breindel. Either way, Shprintza will be forbidden to him, as his wife's sister or as his chalutzah's sister.
(Rambam, Hil. Yibbum ...
16
Someone asked this of Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer, a major posek on these matters in Baltimore. He said without hesitation that it was permissible.
His interpretation of the prohibition on "s'chok vekalut rosh" is "behavior that is suggestive or disinhibiting." I don't see a normal "I love you" as either of those.
15
It certainly is difficult. Good question.
I think the Mishnah is demonstrating a technicality; that if this were done (with intent and witnesses), various laws of marriage would be binding (and then he would have to take care of her for life); not at all that this was a recommended practice!
A few points that can help a bit here:
The Torah said that ...
15
The Gemara says in Kiddushin that it's derived from a verse "ותהי נדתה עליו" - that even when one is a Nidda, there still is "Haviya" (marriage). Therefore, Kiddushin by a nidda works.
If so, there are no issues of Mamzeirus.
14
As Rabbi Yissochar Frand concludes on his shiur on the subject, "as we say in the kashrut world ... it's not recommended."
As Rabbi Rakeffet points out, just using the term in your native language makes a difference here. He mentions that when he first moved to Israel if someone called him a chamor ("donkey") he thought it was cute, but to a native speaker ...
12
According to the Rambam (Laws of Kings 12:1), the natural world we know will continue to exist in Moshiach's times. So yes, marriages existing now will still be in effect when Moshiach comes.
Even according to the opinions that it will be an era of miracles and of a new natural order (Ramban), we'll still be physical creatures with bodies.
12
Indeed he can't perform yibbum - he would have to perform chalitzah instead. The reason is that while yibbum is a positive mitzvah, it's opposed by the positive mitzvah to marry a virgin (Lev. 21:13) and the negative mitzvah to not marry a widow (ibid. :14) - and a positive mitzvah can't override a positive plus a negative one.
Even if the original marriage ...
12
One of the first responsa in Igros Moshe Even HaEzer says if you're ready to get married, then go get married; don't wait for an older sibling (even if s/he complains).
If two siblings get engaged at approximately the same time, then we'd say the older one's wedding should happen first. But that's all the waiting we do.
12
Here is a series of excerpts from the Lubavitcher Rebbe's letters regarding this. A summary of the points:
The Chabad Rabbe'im were Makpid on "Lo Yaiose Kain BimiKomeinu Losais Hatziyira Lifnei HaBechira", when talking about the parents having an option which children to find a shidduch for first.
When an younger sister precedes the older in ...
12
Halachically speaking, homosexual intercourse is all that is prohibited by the Torah. This applies to Jews as well as non-Jews. However, I believe your basic assumptions are correct. Halacha is not violated by a civil contract between two men, whatever it may be (barring such monetary prohibitions as ribbis, ona'ah, etc.)
The only problem I can think of is ...
12
Shulchan Aruch OC 339:4 rules that one should not perform Kiddushin (betrothal) or Nissuin (marriage) on Shabbat or Yom Tov. However he notes that if one did so, even on purpose, it works and the couple is fully married.
The prohibition originates in the Mishna (Beitza 5:2). The Babylonian Talmud (36b per Tosfot) explains that this is a rabbinic prohibition ...
11
It was certainly very common, but I can't find a requirement in the talmud (which was written in the few hundred years around your target timeframe), and I find two one talmudic counter-example:
Sotah 4b says that Ben Azzai was unmarried. (See comments: not a rabbi.)
On Kiddushin 71b R. Yehudah of Pumbeditha is asked why his son, R. Yitzchak, is not yet ...
11
Since R. Shimon ben Gamliel (who flourished in the mid-2nd century CE) refers to it in the past tense, it must have ceased before then. It's likely that it ended with the destruction of the second Beis Hamikdash (because after that it's impossible to speak of "the young women of Jerusalem"), or perhaps a little earlier, when immorality and murder were ...
11
The Talmud searches for Beit Shammai's reason on Kiddushin 11a.
The first suggestion, that of Rav Zera, is that an average woman thinks she is important enough to not accept anything less an dinar for kiddushin. The gemara asks, according to this, it should be completely subjective based on the individual girl. The answer is that this rule applies in a case ...
11
From this Chabad article the restrictions on whom a Kohen can marry are:
A kohen may not marry a ge’rusha (divorcee), chalalah (woman of
defective kohen status), zonah (woman who previously violated certain
sexual prohibitions), giyoret (convert) or chalutzah (a Levirate
widow). If he does marry any of them, their children likewise become
...
11
If someone is born to a Jewish mother, regardless of her affiliation or observance, that person is 100% Jewish and allowed to marry another Jew. There is no conversion involved. I guess that this rabbi, in this situation, wants documentation that demonstrates that your friend's mother, and therefore your friend, is indeed Jewish. There are various ways this ...
10
Based on the Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 7:21 the daughter of converts (and her daughter etc. until at least one of the parents has traditional Jewish ancestry) should not marry a priest. However, if she does and she was conceived after her parents' conversions, then they do not need to get divorced, implying a non-Biblical restriction on such a marriage, and ...
10
In "What's in a Name", the English translation of Zusha Wilhelm's sefer "Ziv HaShemot", the following is stated:
Some are particular not to marry a woman whose name is the same as one’s own. (See Maasei Ish, Choshen Mishpat 7; See also Sdei Chemed, entry on Chasan VeKallah paragraph 7; See also Otzar HaPoskim, Even HaEzer end of ch. 2, and the Testament ...
10
A person whose wife is nidah is still obligated to love her as much as he loves himself; anything he says in order to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted (Nit'ei Gavriel 33:4 and footnote 8). So I guess to say "I love you" to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted, but to say it for no reason may be closer to lightheadedness.
9
The Rambam (Hil. Melachim 9:7) phrases it in terms of "entering into the chuppah" - which in Talmudic terminology means that they are secluded together (what we call nowadays the "yichud room") - followed by having relations. These two things, he says, are sufficient to make a non-Jewish couple husband and wife.
(For slaves, he goes on to say (ibid. :8) ...
9
Yes. However, it's not considered "real" yibbum; any relations that they have until he reaches the age of majority (13 years old) don't change that status. (So if they don't have relations after he reaches that age, then dissolving this marriage requires both a get and chalitzah. On the other hand, if they are intimate after he reaches age 13, then the ...
9
Some have a custom to allow such marriages, but to have the siblings live afterwards in different cities. (This is sort of a compromise between the two positions that Shalom mentioned.)
The Lubavitcher Rebbe zt"l writes in one of his letters (Igros Kodesh, vol. 3, p. 182) that his father R' Levi Yitzchak Schneersohn and his uncle R' Shmuel Schneersohn were ...
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