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17

The Rambam in Hilchos Avel 2:3 says that a Ger is not obligated to mourn for either of his parents. This is so because someone who is aGer is considered as if he is reborn, and therefore has no Halachic relationship to his parents (Yevamos 22a; Bava Kamma 88a). The Beis Yosef (Yoreh De'ah 374) quotes the Mordechai in the name of the Ri that a convert must ...


15

In the Shul I daven in the Gabbai's father Davens there often and the Rav told him to call him up Yaamod Avi Mori. I found that Sefer Dinei Kriyas HaTorah - Rabbi Naftali Hoffner says that you should call the father up as Yaamod Avi U'Mori........


15

Yes. See Igros Moshe YD 2:130, and importantly the Rambam Mamrim 5:11 where he writes: הגר אסור לקלל אביו העכו"ם ולהכותו. ולא יבזהו כדי שלא יאמרו באו מקדושה חמורה לקדושה קלה שהרי זה מבזה אביו. אלא נוהג בו מקצת כבוד.‏ A convert is prohibited from cursing his non-Jewish father or hitting him. And he shouldn't disgrace him, so that people ...


12

The Shu"t Beit Avi (5:56) was asked this question and concludes that one should call him up as "Abba Isaac ben Moses" (for example). He says that by using the honorific "Abba" one alleviates the issue of calling one's parent by their first name (outlined in Shulchan Aruch YD 240:2). He notes that even though the Shulchan Aruch sounds like it is forbidden to ...


11

Kibbud Av VaEim UMoraam 6:11 cites two opinions on this subject. Chida and Sdei Chemed argue that indeed in that case the child should use a different title for his father; by contrast, the Ben Ish Chai (in his responsa Torah Lishmah) says that "Abba" is inherently a respectful title. (It is interesting, too, that we find the amora Shmuel calling his father ...


11

Interestingly, Daas Zekeinim and Kli Yakar (to Gen. 32:8) say that when Yaakov heard that Eisav was planning to attack, he was distressed thinking that this must mean that indeed Yitzchak was already dead and that Eisav therefore feels free to kill him. Rashbam (to 32:7) suggests that indeed Eisav meant well in coming out towards Yaakov with his 400 men - ...


10

It is easy to falsify the assertion that those are the only two mitzvos whose reward is stated. In fact, there is an entire category of mitzvos discussed in the g'mara, for which "matan s'charah b'tzidah" - "its payoff is [written] next to it". One ramification of being included in this group is that one cannot be coerced by the courts to perform those ...


9

The Gemarah (Kesubos, 103a) brings a statement that the extra vav in the word "v'es" in "Kabeid es Avicha v'es Imecha" is there to include your older brother for the mitzvah of Kibbud Av. Whether it means the eldest brother or any older brother is a discussion amongst Rishonim. The simple implication of such a statement is that whatever would apply ...


8

Yosef's father also rebuked him for the dreams, and Yosef had no idea that אביו שמר את הדבר. When Yosef's brothers sold him, he thought his father was in on it also. Thus, he had no reason to think that contacting his father was worthwhile. When Yosef heard his brothers speak about how much it pained his father that he was gone, Yosef realized he was wrong ...


8

Good question about critique. I know of one Holocaust survivor who asks this question every year, and is never satisfied with the answers provided (echoing his own life's experience trying to connect with his family after the war). Some (I believe Netziv) indicate that Yosef saw his dreams as a prophecy he was ordered to fulfill, and thus was obligated to ...


7

I am a convert and have learned both opinions. My late Rav, Rabbi Gedaliah Anemer, zt'l, held in accordance with the Rema. I did not sit shiva for my father or say the kaddish for him. However, Rabbi Yitzhok Breitowitz, shlita, told me that because there are "chashuvah" poskim who hold otherwise, e.g. Rav Ovadiah Yosef, the response should be based on ...


6

Nitei Gavriel Hilchos Aveilos 2 - 88:5 mentions that some people have a Minhag if they have not gone for 10 years to their parents grave not to go anymore. Then he goes on to say that there are those who after 7 years of not going to their parents grave do not go anymore. And he concludes that there are those who are not concerned about this at all. Sources ...


6

The She'arim Metzuyanim BaHalachah (128:12) writes that the custom not to visit your father's grave after not seeing him for seven years has no basis in halachah, and we even have a proof to the opposite from the Zohar.


6

See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 240:24 where it says that one is m'chuyav to honor his father in law. The passuk where it is learnt from is brought by the Prisha who says that Dovid Hamelech called Saul his father. Whether this is a mitzvah from the Torah is a dispute ,see the Shach who brings the Bach who seems to hold it is a d'Rabbanan .


6

The Nishmas Avraham (Chelek Hey Choshen Mishpat Siman 42) and Yalkut Yosef (Kibbud Av Va'em Perek Vov Sif Vov) (among others), rule that an adopted child is obligated in honoring his biological parents. Although there might have been room to say that giving their son up for adoption is considered mechila (release) of their right to be honored, they both ...


6

The Maharsha to Megilla 16b asks this question and explains that after the 14 years that Yaakov spent in the Yeshiva of Shem and Ever before he came to Charan Esav calmed down and Rivka sent Devorah to call Yaakov back. Since he did not return for 22 years he was punished. The Ben Yehoyada (Ben Ish Chai) writes (Megila 17a): His sin was that he remained for ...


6

The Chamudei Daniel, cited by the Pischei Teshuvah Yoreh Deah 240:22 says that one may pray in the shul where he will have more kavvanah. Rav Pam points out that one should take into consideration other possible ramifications before acting on this ruling. See here.


6

After my father crushed my dreams, and refused to pay for my university in England, I wanted to take revenge on him. Serious problem right here. Basically at eighteen, you're on your own. It's normally a nice thing for parents to help out beyond that, but they are not obligated to do so. If you were expecting a favor and didn't receive it, it's natural ...


5

He calls him אבא מרי (or מורי). Examples include a letter of his printed in Toldos Rabbeinu Avraham ben Ha-Rambam, and numerous places in his commentary on the Torah.


5

The Maharsha asks your question. He answers that, although grandsons are like sons for some things (e.g. the mitzvah of pru urvu), a grandson doesn't count as a son with regard to honoring. This implies that there is no independent obligation to honor a grandfather.


5

There are many different customs with regards to visiting graves. The biography prefacing Igros Moshe volume 8 writes that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein didn't visit his father's grave -- "not the custom of Volozhin." Yet years later, when Rabbi Feinstein knew he would soon be leaving Eastern Europe for good, he traveled to his father's grave to say goodbye.


5

Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah Siman 240:2 says “it is forbidden to call a parent or refer to them by their name; rather they need to be referred to as “My father [my teacher]”. This post shows that the use of the third person was well-known in the past. But for today, Rabbi Simcha Weinberg in his blog says “My father zt”l often explained that each generation ...


5

Straight out of the Yerushalmi Talmud: Pe'a 1:1 and repeated in Qiddushin 1:7. אמו של רבי ישמעאל באת ואמרה וקבלה עליו לרבותינו אמרה גערו בישמעאל בני שאינו נוהג בי כבוד באותה שעה נתכרכמו פניהן של רבותינו אמרין איפשר לית רבי ישמעאל נוהג בכבוד אבותיו אמרו לה מהו עביד ליך אמרה כד נפיק מבית וועדא אנא בעה משזנה ריגלוהי ומישתי מהן ולא שבק לי אמרין הואיל והוא ...


5

The Mechaber YD 240:18 paskens like the Rambam that one is obligated to honor his father who is a Rasha. The Rema there paskens like the Tur that he is not liable. That means that Ashkenazim who follow the Rama certainly don't have to honor their father who is an idolator, and sefardim who follow the Mechaber presumably would still have to honor him. (One ...


5

Your question shows that you care about the biblical commandment not to take revenge. Evidently, you are not simply putting on a show of religiosity to provoke your father, which would have only required displaying some of the more visible trappings of religion. Regardless of your original intent, you seem to have developed a positive motivation for mitzva ...


4

The Rashaba writes in his Tshuvos siman 18 that kibud av vaim is like tzdakkah and charity is dependent on the receiver because maybe he will be mochel and he(the giver) wont be chayiv in the mitzvah. When the action of the mitzvah is not completely dependent on the giver then there is no bracha(from Sefer Pisgamei Oraisa which talks about many mitzvos ...


4

I think with most mitzvos between man and fellow man (bein adam lachaveiro) there's no bracha; I believe it has to do with "how do we know you're doing it for the sake of the mitzva?" But with regards to the question of why no bracha over saying the Passover Hagadah, they point out that to say "okay G-d you commanded me to show gratitude so now I'm doing ...


4

I read in Sefer Minhat Yehuda by HaMekubal HaEloki Rabbi Yehuda Fetaya, and he says that one shouldn't ask why he didn't send a letter to his father telling him the situation. INTRO: First of all, I think he is going on the premise that he can't just get up and leave- was sold. ANSWER: He thought his father had died from the pain of losing him. And this ...


4

The halacha does not differntiate between one mourning for a mother or a father in terms of priority for any of the chiyuv davening activities. In fact, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 26:16 states that even one who is mourning for both a mother and a father does not get priority over one mourning for another relative.


4

Regarding honouring one's wife the Gemoro Yevamot 62b says "A man should love his wife as himself and honour her more than himself." ת"ר האוהב את אשתו כגופו והמכבדה יותר מגופו ..... עליו הכתוב אומר וידעת כי שלום אהלך But there is a comparison between honouring parents and honouring G-d in Kiddushin 30b השוה הכתוב מוראת אב ואם למוראת המקום So I think ...



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