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The proper way to do it would be to sa kaddish according to the nussach of the shul. The reason for that being, that "al titosh metoras imecha" does not apply when davining in such a shul (at least for the things you need a minjan for, for everything else one is allowed to follow ones own nussach). There is also a Gemore in Pesachim 52 "al yeschaneh adam ...


3

Excerpt from this article: To avoid fights, many places allow all the Avelim (mourners) to say Kaddish (prayer said on behalf of the deceased) together. However, they must say it together word-for-word, for two voices saying the same thing in unison are not heard, except for something heard infrequently that is very dear to the listener. Kaddish ...



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