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It would seem that a woman does not need to follow her husband's minhagim for things that are considered ladies' mitzvos. Thus R' Moshe Feinstein (Igros Moshe EH 2:12) writes that it is up to a woman if she wants to wear a sheital (wig), and she doesn't need to follow her husband if he feels it's not good enough as this is one of her mitzvos. Rabbi Doniel ...


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Often, when someone comes to a synagogue to pray who never does otherwise, and it's not a red-letter day on the calendar, it's because he's commemorating a relative's yahrzeit that day and wants to be with a minyan to say kadish. I propose that the rabbi assumed that about you. Many have the custom of lighting a candle on a relative's yahrzeit.



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