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14

First things first, You're human. You can't help being attracted to women, Gd made you that way. Only the whens and wheres are your responsibility. Also remember that this area is a very difficult one to conquer, so don't get down on yourself if you fail to climb Everest the first few, or dozen, or hundred times. Getting a warning beforehand helps, so you ...


9

The Rambam in Hilchos Issurei Biah 12:6 holds there is an issue kares,see the chapter in detail. See also the Shulchan Aruch Even Haezer 16 with the meforshim who hold its not only a Rabbinic prohibition but rather a Torah prohibition. The saying is just an immature attitude of relationships on a whole and is entirely prohibited.


8

The commandment to avoid negative reactions is on you, not your wife nor her friends. Of course they shouldn't be deliberately provocative, but if, for example, a normal conversation held in one part of your house bothers you in another part because of kol isha, or if the visitor is dressed appropriately and you are still distracted, this is largely a ...


8

In Pirkei Avos 1:7: יהושע בן פרחיה אומר, עשה לך רב, וקנה לך חבר יג, והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות.‏ Joshua the son of Perachia would say: Assume for yourself a master, acquire for yourself a friend, and judge every man to the side of merit.


7

The Gemora (Shavuos 30a) derives from the verse (Vayikra 19:15) "בצדק תשפוט עמיתך" ("You shall judge your fellow with righteousness") that one should judge others favorably.


6

In some cases (and this is accepted AFAIK in the final halachic analysis) a husband is not only allowed to beat his wife, but he must do so even to the point where she might die. An example of such a case is where the wife is attempting to kill someone else and this is the only way for the husband to stop her (see Rambam Positive Commandment #247). In fact ...


6

This is one of those areas where he really, really needs to be consulting his rabbi. As noted in the question, you can't just flip a switch and -- boom! -- you're observant; it's a process. But, per Avot 2:5, you also can't say "I'll do it later"; later may never come. Only your own rabbi can help you chart a path between these two extremes. (Which is ...


6

The first thing I would do in that situation is to try to provide the halachic options. For example, in setting up the lunch, I would order in some kosher food and set up a separate table for it, making sure it's well-labelled. This might be enough to entice the people who don't keep kosher to eat the kosher food, because they didn't have to make special ...


6

The Baal HaTurim on Shemot 23:5 breaks the verse down into separate commandments for a Jewish enemy and a non-Jewish enemy: non-Jewish Enemy - "You shall refrain from helping him" (as a statement, not as a question, like Rashi interprets it) Jewish Enemy - "You shall surely help him"


6

See the Fall 2010 issue of Tradition, with the article entitled "A Marital Agreement to Mediate" by R. David Joseph Mescheloff and also the letters section of the Spring 2011 issue, with letters by R. Howard Jachter and the author. The dispute is whether R. Moshe Feinstein and R. Soloveitchik supported the use of prenuptial agreements (according to R. ...


5

Sarah's actions need not be righteous. First, this source is based on a Midrash. The simple text just states that Sarah oppressed Hagar without going into any detail. The goal of the Midrash could be to get you to view Hagar from a sympathetic point of view - it does not necessarily mean to justify the behavior. Secondly, the Ramban ad loc (secondary ...


4

R' Shneur Zalman of Liadi says in Chapter 32 of Tanya (colloquially called the "Lev" of Tanya - the heart of Tanya) that one can have true love of a fellow Jew only if he views his soul primary and his body secondary (since our souls have one root, so there is no cause for division, machlokes, etc.) Therefore, The Alter Rebbe’s answer follows from his ...


4

According to Rebbe Nachman of Breslev, not only are there no exceptions but it's specifically in the case of a rasha where being dan lechaf zechus is essential: "Know that you must judge all people favorably. This applies even to the worst of people. You must search until you find some little bit of good in them. In that good place inside them, they ...


4

I don't think it's really contradictory. One is on a national level, and one is on an individual level. If you find out someone is from 'Amalek and then kill him, you are guilty of murder. (I think so, anyway; I stand open to correction by the community.) Secondly, the Mitzvah is to wipe out 'Amalek, particularly the memory of 'Amalek, not necessarily to ...


4

This question does not have an easy answer and it certainly depends upon which community you belong (e.g. Hasidic, Modern Orthodox, etc.). As an attorney and an officer of the court (in Pennsylavania and the District of Columbia), I have to first tell you that a witness to a crime has an on-going responsibility to report the crime. Failure to report could ...


3

It is commendable that you want to help your friend improve her observance. However, I see some issues with the approach you're proposing here. How do you think she will react when she finds out what happened? "Is this the reward of torah, that I should lose my livelihood for it?" Yes working on Shabbat is a serious violation of halacha, but you will not ...


3

I know of a mechanic that has many non religious workers. He has instituted that no one is allowed to bring his own lunch, and he supplies lunch daily for all his workers. In addition he has them wash and then Bentch together. (no one stands with a gun to their head, it is done and those that want to, participate) I know this does not exactly answer your ...


3

Radak gives two explanations: His own explanation is that since no one knew about the sin with Betshabe but G-d, he had only sinned to G-d, i.e. only G-d knew about it. Alternatively, he quotes Rabbi Saadiah Gaon that the verse means that to G-d alone he confessed his sin, even though he did sin to others.


3

I would suggest sending a message to the Chabad headquarters. Contact Us Lubavitch World Headquarters 770 Eastern Parkway Brooklyn, New York 11213 Phone: 718 774.4000 Fax 718 774.2718 Email: info@lubavitch.com


2

Maimonides explains the scope rule in his commentary to Avot 1:6 as follows: והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות - עניינו, שאם יהיה אדם שאינו ידוע לך, לא תדע האם צדיק הוא או רשע, ותראהו עושה מעשה או אומר דבר, שאם יפורש באופן מה הריהו טוב, ואם תפרשהו באופן אחר הרי הוא רע - פרשהו כטוב, ואל תחשוב בו רע. אבל אם היה איש ידוע שהוא צדיק, ומפורסם במעשי הטוב, ונראה לו ...


2

The distinction is found in the Mishna (Yoma 8:9 (English)): עברות ש​​​​​​​​​​​​​​בין אדם למקום, יום הכפורים מכפר.‏ עברות ש​​​​​​​​​​​​​​בין אדם לחברו כד, אין יום הכפורים מכפר, עד שירצה את חברו.‏ את זו דרש רבי אלעזר בן עזריה, (ויקרא טז) מכל חטאתיכם לפני יי תטהרו, עברות ש​​​​​​​​​​​​​​בין אדם למקום, יום הכפורים מכפר. עברות ש​​​​​​​​​​​​​​בין ...


2

It seems that the Torah puts two separate obligations on you – hakarat ha'tov and tochacha (rebuke). You owe your Client some thanks because he could have tried to avoid paying altogether or caused you more costs in recovering the debt. For this attitude, see here -a small quote: “Moshe gets to the well. The daughters of Midyan are in trouble and ...


2

The Rambam in הלכות דעות פרק ו says: יד חייב אדם להיזהר ביתומים ואלמנות--מפני שנפשן שפלה למאוד ורוחן נמוכה, אף על פי שהן בעלי ממון: אפילו אלמנתו של מלך ויתומיו של מלך--מוזהרין אנו עליהן, שנאמר "כל אלמנה ויתום, לא תענון"‏ טו והיאך נוהגין עימהן--לא ידבר אליהם אלא רכות, ולא ינהוג בהן אלא מנהג כבוד; ולא יכאיב גופן בעבודה ולא ליבן בדברים, ויחוס ...


2

First of all, I can only mirror what people said before me: ask your LOR!!! Halachically (please don't take it as a psak for this case) it is okay. In Hilchos Geirus a well known Haloche is cited: that a Ger has to take upon himself all Mitzwos at the moment of Geirus. One of the Meforshim (I would have to look up exactly which one it was) adds that a Tinok ...


2

First decide if you really want to mend the relationship. The way to do this, is to apply the conditions of repentance to this person. Read the entire chapter 4 of chovos halevavos shaar teshuva here and how he applies it to human relationships (it's short). if he/she has truly fulfilled them, then it is proper to forgive them and overlook their iniquity in ...


2

Answering this as a logical question would seem to include "lifnei ivar lo siten michshol" which also includes "blessing" a deaf person who would not hear you. When you say embarassing an "anonymous" person, does this mean for example causing embarrassment to someone by using his (or her) login name (such as my SabbaHillel reference). In this case, since I ...


1

In Pirkei Avot, Chapter 1 Mishna 12, we are told: Hillel and Shammai received the transmission from them. Hillel said: Be of the students of Aaron, loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them closer to Torah. In Pirkei Avot d'Rabbi Natan, what it means to be like Aaron is expanded: (taken from this website) if Aaron would ...


1

I can give one example where we see that the punishment serves to restore one's status. Certain crimes that a person commits disqualify him from serving as a witness. However, if he receives punishment and, depending on the crime, takes steps to distance himself from what he has done, he returns to his status as a viable witness. The details of these ...


1

If you wronged them in a matter between one person and another, then obviously yes. Just as if you'd embezzled funds from someone or broken their heart. If they were perfectly happy with the act then I don't know what an apology is trying to accomplish. E.g. if I went out with my buddy Ted and we ate cheeseburgers, I need to confess to G-d and repent for ...


1

See Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 59,6. He says that if there isn't very much Tzar (pain) over the news, then one should say it, and if there is real Tzar, one would say it with Sheim Umalchus (mentioning God's name and reign). Having learned from a Talmid Chochom is not a prerequisite to saying the Beracha on his passing.



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