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10

You're not mistaken: in fact the Tur and Shulkhan Arukh (335:2) say that only a בן גילו has the ability to take some of the sickness with him. This difficulty was recognised by the Drisha on Ramba"m and he stresses Ramba"m's wording: כאילו נטל חלק מחולייו - it is as if he takes part of the illness. However, there's a note in my Ramba"m that directed me to ...


3

The main Gemara is Nedarim 39b: אמר רבי אחא בר חנינא כל המבקר חולה נוטל אחד מששים בצערו אמרי ליה אם כן ליעלון שיתין ולוקמוה אמר ליה כעישורייתא דבי רבי ובבן גילו Said Rabbi Acha Bar Chanina: anyone who visits the sick takes away 1/60th of their pain. [The rabbis] responded to him: "if so, couldn't we just bring sixty people in, and boom he'd get ...


2

It looks like it might be a little of both, actually. Consent (daas) is necessary for this to work, even with adult children or other workers (Shulchan Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 337:16 and Sma :37), and as you said, children are unable to legally grant such consent. But the Gemara (Bava Metzia 92b) also mentions the consideration that "Hashem has not granted ...



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