matchmaking; finding a spouse

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13
votes
3answers
489 views

Can someone have more than one potential soulmate simultaneously?

I have been told from several different people that it is possible for one person to have multiple Besherts (divinely intended marriage partners, soulmates if you will) to choose from. He may only ...
11
votes
6answers
559 views

40 Days Before Conception

It is written somewhere (I don't remember exactly where) that 40 days before conception, it is called out in Heaven who that person will marry. However, if the person gets married multiple times how ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

Is the lemon slice added to a soda in many bars a problem kosher-wise?

Many bars (and hotel lobbies) will add a lemon wedge to the top of a glass of soda; often it's used to differentiate between Diet Coke (gets the lemon) and regular Coke (no lemon). Does this pose a ...
10
votes
2answers
245 views

Was Rabbi Akiva obligated to divulge that his daughter was destined to die on her wedding day?

Inspired by this question (perhaps even a duplicate). From the Talmud (Shabbat 156b) (Soncino Translation): From R. Akiba too [we learn that] Israel is free from planetary influence. For R. Akiba ...
10
votes
1answer
236 views

(How) was Tu B'Av observed as a matchmaking/singles-meeting event through history?

I know the Talmud describes how the fifteenth day of the month of Av (Tu b'Av) was a day of ... I'd say "matchmaking", but I think "marriage-minded-singles-meeting" is more like it: אמר רבן שמעון ...
9
votes
3answers
376 views

Praying at Amukah = Finding a mate. Since when?

Many people, I'm sure, have heard of the famous segulah for finding one's soulmate: praying at the grave of Yonasan ben Uziel in Amukah, Israel. I'm not asking if this works, or why it would work, or ...
9
votes
3answers
356 views

Which authorities approve/disapprove of mixed events for singles?

Some weddings have mixed seating at the reception; some have separate seating. Some organizations and communities encourage or at least allow mixed events for singles; some discourage or forbid them. ...
9
votes
1answer
244 views

Does someone who dies very young have a soulmate?

As discussed in this question, the Talmud tells us that 40 days before someone is born, a heavenly voice calls out "This person is destined for so-and-so". Not sure if anyone can answer this, but ...
9
votes
2answers
234 views

Must a Divorced Man Wear a Tallis While Davening?

According to a common custom among Ashkenazim, a man only starts wearing a tallis while davening after he gets married. Does a divorced man continue to wear a tallis when davening? Or could/should he ...
8
votes
2answers
141 views

Mitzvah for fathers to buy things for dating-age daughters?

I heard that men whose daughters are dating have a mitzvah to supply them with things that will help them, i.e. dresses, jewelry, etc. Is there a source for this?
8
votes
2answers
316 views

Having children when both parents are Tay-Sachs carriers

This is an obvious CYLOR question, but I am interested in whatever halachic information is available out there. Suppose a couple got married without ever getting genetically tested for Tay-Sachs. ...
7
votes
1answer
186 views

Genetic testing before the first date?

Let's lay down assumptions: The shidduch dating system in which young men meet with young women to interact socially is permitted, and in fact practiced, only with the intention of potential ...
6
votes
5answers
251 views

Why didn't Avraham tell Eliezer to go get Rivka?

In Parshas Chayei Sara, Avraham tells Eliezer to go find a wife for Yitzchok from his family, כִּי אֶל אַרְצִי וְאֶל מוֹלַדְתִּי תֵּלֵךְ וְלָקַחְתָּ אִשָּׁה לִבְנִי לְיִצְחָק:‏ and not from the ...
6
votes
2answers
703 views

shiduch date haircut during sefira

Are you allowed to get a haircut during the Omer if you are going on a shiduch date?
6
votes
3answers
175 views

Kohanim Dating Ba'alot Teshuva

Is it necessary for a Kohen to clarify that a prospective match who is a ba'alat teshuvah has not had sexual relations with a non-Jew before dating her, or can one rely on a chezkat kashrut? If the ...
6
votes
1answer
129 views

May one propose with an engagement ring?

Are there any Halachic issues with giving a girl a ring while asking her to marry him? Are there any sources that discuss the sha'alah of safek Kiddushin, etc?
5
votes
2answers
312 views

What do you say when asked Shidduch information

Often when we are asked Shidduch information we are stuck between the Halachos of Lashon Hara. Suppose there is an illness you are aware of, however it really is not something that would affect a ...
5
votes
2answers
484 views

What are important topics to discuss before marriage?

Eventually, one is required to get married. In the process of selecting a marriage partner, what are important topics to discuss in the dating process? In particular, I'm looking for topics that will ...
5
votes
0answers
54 views

How are the two tales of dancing in vinyards on the 15th of Av related?

The Mishna tells us (Taanis 26b) that on the 15th of Av, unmarried girls would borrow clothes, dance in the vinyard, and invite the unmarried men to choose them for marriage. The Talmud (Taanis 30b) ...
4
votes
2answers
99 views

Laws regarding excessive conversation while dating

In speaking with a friend regarding conversation between men and women who are dating, this is what they said: So I asked someone who knows about these things and she said that it originates from ...
4
votes
0answers
76 views

Height of havdalah candle = height of spouse?

I have seen havdalah ceremonies where a unmarried person is charged with holding the havdalah candle and is told to hold it at the height that s/he would want their spouse to be. What is the source ...
3
votes
2answers
147 views

paying for an apartment

I recently came across an article describing the situation in Israel where in order to finalize an engagement, the parents have to pay for an entire apartment (not just a down payment, the whole ...
3
votes
1answer
56 views

Can I use kibud av v'em to get my son to date somebody?

Our son is getting older and still has this wild idea from his 20s and 30s that he will find a model who knows shas! We try to explain that it is getting harder as he gets older, to no avail. There ...
3
votes
0answers
60 views

Where can I find a “guide” to shidduch resume etiquette and protocol?

It seems that all my local shadchanim require a shiduch "resume". I am really new to this concept, and so are my kids. I looked at some samples, and I don't understand some of the abbreviations, ...
2
votes
3answers
310 views

What to look for when going on shidduchim?

Are there any sources in the Torah that list the qualities and traits one should look for when going on shidduchim? I am not looking for personal preferences, but actual Torah sources (Tanach, ...
2
votes
1answer
221 views

Segulot for finding a Shidduch

If someone is having a hard time finding a shidduch, what can they do to help the process along? Are there any recommendations brought in the holy books that will make it easier?
1
vote
2answers
57 views

What is the meaning and origin of the term “in the parsha” with regard to someone who is looking for a shidduch?

Recently, I spoke to a neighbor who had a 20 year old daughter. I asked the mother if she was dating anyone and she responded that she was "in the parsha". This is a new term to me. I assume the term ...
-3
votes
1answer
85 views

Dancing in the vineyards on yom kippur

The gemoro end Taanis says that twice a year the girls went dancing in the vineyards. Maybe that explains a previous post of mine why they were not attending the services in the temple regardin bowing ...