NOTE: Please respect that in the Jewish tradition certain questions, especially certain questions relating to sexuality, are discussed only in private. Such questions will be closed or deleted at the discretion of the moderators or community. Also note that, like Wikipedia, this site makes no ...

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45
votes
5answers
3k views

What is the halachic source for objection to gay (civil) marriage?

New York State is considering legalizing gay (civil) marriages, so tonight on our answering machine we received a message urging us to pray that it doesn't pass because gay civil marriages were, you ...
25
votes
2answers
2k views

What is the point of having a rapist marry the woman he raped?

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (JPS) 28  If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 then the man that lay ...
18
votes
6answers
3k views

What does Judaism think about homosexuality?

Is being gay a sin? Can one be a Jew and a gay person at the same time? How does the Jewish community think about gays?
16
votes
1answer
511 views

Do Jews need to care about non-jewish homosexuality?

Since there is currently no way and/or need for Jews to administer capital punishment to gentiles who violate the 7 noahide laws, is there any halachic reason for a Jew to care whether or not a ...
14
votes
15answers
2k views

How can I curb my sexual desire?

I am looking for the best and most practical suggestion as to what a man can do to curb his yetzer hara (evil inclination) for sexual desire. Please provide sources for why your answer should be ...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

If masturbation is so bad, why is it not in list of 613 Mitzvos?

If masturbation is, as stated in the Shulchan Oruch (Even HaEzer 23:1), "the worst sin in the Torah", then why is it not listed in any of the various lists of 613 Mitzvos and why is there no verse in ...
12
votes
3answers
1k views

Does Judaism consider virginity to be a virtue?

Wikipedia outlines the attitudes of various cultures towards virginity including: Judaism In Judaism, sex is not considered to be sinful. Though premarital sex is disapproved, there is no ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How do you quit a pornography habit?

Chabad rabbi Tzvi Freeman writes that all pornography is bad. If a man already has a habit of watching pornography, how do you quit?
10
votes
1answer
283 views

Religiously sensitive guidance on when to tell your child about human reproduction

A boy in cheder who has no internet at home, no tv, etc, is not exposed to human reproduction in the way that others are. It's therefore up to the parents to explain to him how children are born. ...
10
votes
2answers
487 views

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship?

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship? In light of the idea that marriage can be contracted solely through bi'ah/public knowledge of the couple's relationship (as ...
10
votes
1answer
207 views

Allowing unmarried/homosexual couples into a hotel

Recently there has been a high profile case in the UK concerning a religious christian couple who own a hotel. Due to their personal religious beliefs their policy was to refuse a room to couples who ...
10
votes
4answers
283 views

Why is giluey arayos one of the big 3?

I get why murder and idol worship are things you have to give your life up for. But why is giluy arayos - sexual sin so fundamental as to require a person to give up one's life? I'm looking for a ...
10
votes
2answers
328 views

Why should one have marital relations as if forced by a demon?

The gemarah (nedarim 20b) mentions that one of the reasons for having beautiful children is due to having relations "as if forced by a demon". Rashi there explains the term as either indicating that ...
9
votes
2answers
550 views

Rape for a girl and is looking to get married

If a young Jewish girl was raped, what are the protocols for her getting married? Is there anyone that she can't marry other than the Kohen or Kohen Gadol? What are the halachot for these types of ...
9
votes
1answer
429 views

Kissing and Hugging one's wife

What does it say about chibuk and nishuk (kissing and hugging) shelo b'shas tashmish (not during relations) with one's wife in Sifrei Halacha or Hashkafa? Among madrichei chassanim (those that teach ...
9
votes
3answers
220 views

Why was there a distinction made for women captives?

In Numbers 31, God tells the Israelites to wipe out the Midianites (and incidentally, Balaam) by killing every male. But they spared certain women (v17-18): Now therefore kill every male among the ...
9
votes
3answers
339 views

Is an asexual person obligated in Pru Urvu?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by the lack of sexual attraction towards people in general. Asexuals may or may not be interested in romantic relationships, but are not physically ...
8
votes
2answers
734 views

Origin of myth about the hole in the sheet?

There is a widespread myth (as far as I know it is a myth) that orthodox Jews must have marital relations through a hole in a sheet. What is the origin of this myth and does it have any actual basis ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

Does the act of masturbation cause a change in one's spiritual/religious status vis-a-vis what he may and may not do?

Obviously masturbation is a very serious sin. However, if someone has already transgressed that sin, does his status change vis-a-vis things like learning Torah or davening? Does he need to go to a ...
8
votes
1answer
130 views

Is it halachically acceptable to discuss Torah concerning sexual conduct in a forum like Mi Yodeya?

The Mishna in Chagiga 2:1 rules: אין דורשין בעריות בשלשה One may not expound the laws of forbidden sexual relations before three people The Gemara in Shabbat 33a writes: א"ר חנן בר רבא ...
8
votes
3answers
507 views

Why does the Talmud assume a woman cannot get pregnant on the first act of intercourse?

There is a rule in the Gemara (Yevamot 34a) that אין אשה מתעברת בביאה ראשונה. The question is why the Talmud assumes that a virgin cannot conceive on her first act of sexual intercourse if the hymen ...
8
votes
1answer
205 views

Why has Judaism traditionally discussed intimacy only privately?

To quote msh210's formulation of this site's rule on intimate topics: Please respect that in the Jewish tradition certain questions, especially certain questions relating to sexuality, are ...
8
votes
1answer
165 views

mating prevention as Tza'ar Ba'alei Chayim

Does anyone know whether keeping an animal of one sex as a pet is considered Tza'ar Ba'alei Chayim or not, since it cannot mate?
7
votes
1answer
372 views

Viewing copulating animals

As a child at the zoo I was taught that one is not allowed to view animals while they are copulating. However as a pet owner I have learned that the exposed genitals of animals do not prohibit a ...
7
votes
1answer
652 views

Does casual sex establish a marriage?

Do premarital sexual relations effect Kiddushin (betrothal/first step of Jewish marriage) if there is no intention of getting married? If so, is the physical act itself determinative of whether or ...
7
votes
1answer
211 views

How is gender halachically determined?

I apologize if this is a sensitive topic, but it seems that this question is foundational to some of the discussions that appear here. I hope that my wording is appropriate. If I understand ...
7
votes
2answers
622 views

Why is age 3 the age at which a girl is able to have intercourse?

In msh210's answer to this question of mine, he stated that: women...who physically could be [intimate with men], which is those who had reached their third birthday. In comments, he mentioned ...
6
votes
1answer
350 views

Waiting after using the bathroom before having relations

Where is it brought down that one should wait after going to the bathroom and before having relations. I have heard this before and 2 reasons given. One is that because of the "ruach rah" in the ...
6
votes
3answers
273 views

Misreading a k'suva

The k'suva text varies slightly depending on whether the bride is a virgin, independent of whether she has been married previously. (For one thing, the amount of money mentioned in it is different; ...
6
votes
2answers
433 views

May a woman look at a man for pleasure?

It's ossur for a man to look at a woman for pleasure. Even to look at her small finger with the intention of having pleasure from it (See EH"E Siman 21 Sif 1.) Is there any prohibition for a woman to ...
6
votes
3answers
574 views

Aside from the days set aside for impurity, what exactly is a man allowed to do with his wife in regards to intimacy?

A man cannot touch, stare, kiss or have relations with a woman he is not married with. On the days when the laws of impurity do not apply, what exactly can a man do with his wife? Assuming extra ...
6
votes
3answers
838 views

Do JONAH and similar organizations successfully help those with same-gender attractions?

Wikipedia's article on homosexuality and Judaism talks about Jewish organizations which aim to help people change. The article mentions JONAH, an organization which works on "prevention, ...
6
votes
2answers
130 views

Issurei arayos worse than rape.

Why does the Torah treat forbidden relationships, even when consensual, more seriously than it treats rape?
6
votes
2answers
2k views

Is oral intercourse permitted according to halacha? [closed]

What has the halacha have to say about a husband and wife sharing oral intercourse (in either direction)?
5
votes
4answers
513 views

are homosexual relations forbidden by God? Why?

To my understanding, Bible says that God does not like homosexual relations. But why? Why did God punish and destroy inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah? They were not Jewish and were not given the laws ...
5
votes
1answer
238 views

Are cholim obligated to please their wives?

To me it is clear that if (G-d forbid) a person is sick to the point that it will kill them, or that (G-d forbid) they will get their wife sick, there's obviously no obligation to please their wife ...
5
votes
1answer
278 views

Source for story about The Rabbi and the prostitute

I learned a great Gemara about a rabbi who visited a famous prostitute. But before he consummated the deal, his tallitot slapped him on the face, reminding him of his faith. Where's the story? Any ...
5
votes
2answers
495 views

Sources for Hassidic views on marital celibacy/asceticism?

My understanding is the traditional view of Ger Hassidism was that marital celibacy was a good idea, once all procreative needs had been met. My impression is that Chabad-Lubavitch never advocated an ...
5
votes
1answer
328 views

Dealing with an asexual wife

Inspired by this question Many orthodox singles do not know about intimacy until right before the wedding. An asexual girl may of course choose not to get married, however, without prior experience ...
5
votes
2answers
122 views

Do the Nine Measures Apply to the Woman?

Nedarim 20b discusses nine mannerisms which a man should avoid whilst being intimate with his wife. The Talmud says that practicing these nine mannerisms can lead to having obstinate, rebellious ...
5
votes
1answer
256 views

sperm donation and p'ru ur'vu

Does donating sperm to a woman who is not your wife (who then goes on to bear children from it) fulfill the mitzvah of p'ru ur'vu? Alternatively, is it a violation of halakha? Does it matter whose ...
5
votes
1answer
119 views

Under what circumstances is a false virgin put to death?

Deut 22:13–21 says that if a man marries a virgin, is intimate with her, and then claims that she is not a virgin, and there is no evidence that she is a virgin, that she is stoned. That seems to be ...
5
votes
1answer
163 views

Tshuva concerning sexual sins requires partner's exculpation?

If a person wants to do tshuva of the sexual sins committed, besides stopping the sin and asking G'd forgiveness, should the person also ask sorry to each woman that he had an inappropriate ...
5
votes
0answers
99 views

May a couple forgo relations out of convenience?

In my chassan classes I was taught that it is important to have relations on the night a wife returns tahor from the mikvah. I do not know the source of this idea. My question is: May the couple ...
5
votes
2answers
322 views

Mikvah and illness

My understanding is that, as a general rule, a healthy woman may not delay going to the Mikvah for her own (or even her husband's) convenience. But I'm wondering if there are sources discussing ...
4
votes
3answers
770 views

Homosexuality is “worse than murder”?

A sign at a recent rally protesting New York's 2011 Marriage Equality Act reads Judaism considers male homosexuality a worse sin than murder I imagine that this is a minority opinion, but does ...
4
votes
4answers
890 views

What is the philosophy or logic for considering masturbation to be sinful?

There are a couple of questions, here and here, on this site mentioning masturbation. Both of them assume that masturbation is a sin and some of the answers cite specific texts backing that up. ...
4
votes
2answers
230 views

Yichud with someone who can't have an erection

If a man is in a physical situation where he is unable to have an erection will there still be an issur of yichud (the prohibition of being alone with someone that it is forbidden to have relations ...
4
votes
1answer
277 views

Is a man allowed to waste his seed for medical reasons?

Is a man allowed to waste his seed for medical reasons, for example if a couple is having difficulty conceiving and the fertility specialists are requesting a sample.
4
votes
1answer
135 views

Onah and Sukkos?

Does the Mitzvah of sleeping in the Sukkah supersede the mitzvah of Onah? (one would think not, as it is a chov to someone else.) If not, is one supposed to fulfill mitzvas Onah and then retire to the ...