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18
votes
19answers
4k views

How can I curb my sexual desire?

I am looking for the best and most practical suggestion as to what a man can do to curb his yetzer hara (evil inclination) for sexual desire. Please provide sources for why your answer should be ...
12
votes
3answers
1k views

Aside from the days set aside for impurity, what exactly is a man allowed to do with his wife in regards to intimacy?

A man cannot touch, stare, kiss or have relations with a woman he is not married with. On the days when the laws of impurity do not apply, what exactly can a man do with his wife? Assuming extra ...
14
votes
1answer
875 views

How is gender halachically determined?

I apologize if this is a sensitive topic, but it seems that this question is foundational to some of the discussions that appear here. I hope that my wording is appropriate. If I understand ...
13
votes
2answers
10k views

Is oral intercourse permitted according to halacha? [closed]

What has the halacha have to say about a husband and wife sharing oral intercourse (in either direction)?
5
votes
3answers
1k views

Homosexuality is “worse than murder”?

A sign at a recent rally protesting New York's 2011 Marriage Equality Act reads Judaism considers male homosexuality a worse sin than murder I imagine that this is a minority opinion, but does ...
15
votes
4answers
2k views

If masturbation is so bad, why is it not in list of 613 Mitzvos?

If masturbation is, as stated in the Shulchan Oruch (Even HaEzer 23:1), "the worst sin in the Torah", then why is it not listed in any of the various lists of 613 Mitzvos and why is there no verse in ...
11
votes
3answers
971 views

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship?

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship? In light of the idea that marriage can be contracted solely through bi'ah/public knowledge of the couple's relationship (as ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

Does Judaism permit sexual relationships outside of marriage?

I am eager to know more about different religions from Islam to Judaism. Furthermore, how different religions look at women and comparing their kinds of approaches to the matter of gender and ...
4
votes
2answers
772 views

Are girls allowed to touch themselves?

I heard the guys aren't allowed to touch themselves because its wasted seed but what about girls. Would that be okay?
21
votes
4answers
7k views

What does Judaism think about homosexuality?

Is being gay a sin? Can one be a Jew and a gay person at the same time? How does the Jewish community think about gays?
8
votes
4answers
2k views

From where do we know that sexual intercourse with a non-jewish woman is forbidden?

From where do we know that a jewish man cannot have sexuel intercourse with a non-jewish woman? What say the Kabbala about this ? Is it related to dark forces, "qelipoth"?
7
votes
4answers
528 views

No Blessing on marital relations?

Yebamoth 61b discusses the positive commandment of being fruitful and multiplying. As far as I am aware, one makes no blessing before intercourse. why not? Please cite sources!
7
votes
4answers
2k views

What is the philosophy or logic for considering masturbation to be sinful?

There are a couple of questions, here and here, on this site mentioning masturbation. Both of them assume that masturbation is a sin and some of the answers cite specific texts backing that up. ...
5
votes
1answer
323 views

Are cholim obligated to please their wives?

To me it is clear that if (G-d forbid) a person is sick to the point that it will kill them, or that (G-d forbid) they will get their wife sick, there's obviously no obligation to please their wife ...
13
votes
2answers
2k views

How do you quit a pornography habit?

The Torah teaches that, if you're an unmarried man, watching pornography is harmful to your soul. See, for example, this article by Chabad rabbi Tzvi Freeman. (If you're married and need to watch ...
10
votes
2answers
359 views

Do the Nine Measures Apply to the Woman?

Nedarim 20b discusses nine mannerisms which a man should avoid whilst being intimate with his wife. The Talmud says that practicing these nine mannerisms can lead to having obstinate, rebellious ...
12
votes
3answers
3k views

Does Judaism consider virginity to be a virtue?

Wikipedia outlines the attitudes of various cultures towards virginity including: Judaism In Judaism, sex is not considered to be sinful. Though premarital sex is disapproved, there is no ...
2
votes
2answers
930 views

Tashmish Ha-Mitah B'yom (Marital Relations by day.)

It says in Shulchan Aruch Siman 240 Sif 11 that it's prohibited to have marital relations by day unless the house is dark ("Bayis Afel".) The Rema adds that a Talmid Chacham that covers himself with ...
1
vote
3answers
208 views

“Gay” people in the Torah, Talmud, Kabbalah?

What do the Torah, Talmud, Kabbalah say about people that "are gay" or have the desire to live that way? I'm not asking if it's a sin. I'm wondering how they "became gay" and how they can change? ...
6
votes
4answers
771 views

Which prohibition does one commit when viewing pornography?

Excluding wasting one's seed (hotzas zera l'vatelah) and Bittul Torah (wasting one's time by not learning Torah), which Jewish commandment or law (Biblical or Rabbinic) is one breaking when viewing ...
17
votes
2answers
959 views

Kissing and Hugging one's wife

What does it say about chibuk and nishuk (kissing and hugging) shelo b'shas tashmish (not during relations) with one's wife in Sifrei Halacha or Hashkafa? Among madrichei chassanim (those that teach ...
5
votes
1answer
577 views

Resources for teaching chassan classes

I am looking for books that deal primarily with the halachos in Orach Chaim siman 240 and Even HaEzer siman 25. Due to the nature of the content it seems that the world has been reluctant to put out ...
10
votes
3answers
740 views

Is an asexual person obligated in Pru Urvu?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by the lack of sexual attraction towards people in general. Asexuals may or may not be interested in romantic relationships, but are not physically ...
8
votes
1answer
296 views

Why has Judaism traditionally discussed intimacy only privately?

To quote msh210's formulation of this site's rule on intimate topics: Please respect that in the Jewish tradition certain questions, especially certain questions relating to sexuality, are ...
8
votes
2answers
834 views

May a woman look at a man for pleasure?

It's ossur for a man to look at a woman for pleasure. Even to look at her small finger with the intention of having pleasure from it (See EH"E Siman 21 Sif 1.) Is there any prohibition for a woman to ...
33
votes
5answers
3k views

What is the point of having a rapist marry the woman he raped?

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (JPS) 28  If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 then the man that lay ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

Does casual sex establish a marriage?

Do premarital sexual relations effect Kiddushin (betrothal/first step of Jewish marriage) if there is no intention of getting married? If so, is the physical act itself determinative of whether or ...
8
votes
4answers
3k views

Does the act of masturbation cause a change in one's spiritual/religious status vis-a-vis what he may and may not do?

Obviously masturbation is a very serious sin. However, if someone has already transgressed that sin, does his status change vis-a-vis things like learning Torah or davening? Does he need to go to a ...
5
votes
1answer
448 views

sperm donation and p'ru ur'vu

Does donating sperm to a woman who is not your wife (who then goes on to bear children from it) fulfill the mitzvah of p'ru ur'vu? Alternatively, is it a violation of halakha? Does it matter whose ...
5
votes
4answers
740 views

are homosexual relations forbidden by God? Why?

To my understanding, Bible says that God does not like homosexual relations. But why? Why did God punish and destroy inhabitants of Sodom and Gomorrah? They were not Jewish and were not given the laws ...
4
votes
3answers
403 views

How do I find answers to sensitive questions I can't ask my rabbi?

I have a halachic question of a sexual nature that I feel I can't ask my rabbi. Where can I get such questions answered? Are there rabbis knowledgeable in this area who are willing to answer ...
4
votes
0answers
330 views

To what extent is homosexuality forbidden among non-Jews?

All homosexual behavior is forbidden among Jews, but some actions are clearly Torah prohibitions (e.g. mishkav zachar), while some might be Rabbinic in nature (e.g. lesbian relations). Are all of ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

When is there a heter to use a condom?

When, if ever, is there a heter for a married couple to use a condom as a form of birth control? Question was inspired by this article
3
votes
0answers
126 views

Should I be giving a get to my girlfriends after a breakup? [duplicate]

I have some knowledge of Jewish law, but it seems ambiguous to me in some areas, either because there are differing opinions, or no one has really explained to me the reasons for the opinions to be ...
11
votes
3answers
279 views

Why was there a distinction made for women captives?

In Numbers 31, God tells the Israelites to wipe out the Midianites (and incidentally, Balaam) by killing every male. But they spared certain women (v17-18): Now therefore kill every male among the ...
10
votes
2answers
406 views

Are sex change operations prohibited for non-Jews?

In very specific situations some halachic decisors have permitted sex change operations, such as for infants born with some types of genital anomalies. However, the consensus seems to be that they ...
10
votes
4answers
413 views

Why is giluey arayos one of the big 3?

I get why murder and idol worship are things you have to give your life up for. But why is giluy arayos - sexual sin so fundamental as to require a person to give up one's life? I'm looking for a ...
7
votes
2answers
588 views

Mikvah and illness

My understanding is that, as a general rule, a healthy woman may not delay going to the Mikvah for her own (or even her husband's) convenience. But I'm wondering if there are sources discussing ...
4
votes
2answers
149 views

Prishus in Jewish Marriage

I know that there is a concept of prishus (going beyond the letter of the law, and abstaining from things that are really allowed) within Jewish marriage, but what exactly does this constitute, and ...
3
votes
2answers
255 views

Is causing oneself to have an erection forbidden or just not recommended?

In the Mishneh Torah Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:19 it says: It is forbidden for a person to intentionally cause himself to have an erection or to bring himself to [sexual] thoughts. Yet in Niddah ...
0
votes
2answers
150 views

Does guarding the eyes apply equally in all cases?

When the imperative to guard your eyes is brought about the first thing I think of is a man that is careful with what he sees with regards to immodest women. However, there are other case when this ...
13
votes
2answers
420 views

Transgender erva

Men's Health magazine has been in the news lately because of a contest in which people can vote on who will be on the magazine's cover. Currently leading in the voting is a transgender person who was ...
-3
votes
5answers
407 views

Jewish Marriage and Pleasure

The perspective of a Jewish Marriage is to have children. However, is one allowed to have intercourse for pleasure?
17
votes
1answer
763 views

Do Jews need to care about non-jewish homosexuality?

Since there is currently no way and/or need for Jews to administer capital punishment to gentiles who violate the 7 noahide laws, is there any halachic reason for a Jew to care whether or not a ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Rape for a girl and is looking to get married

If a young Jewish girl was raped, what are the protocols for her getting married? Is there anyone that she can't marry other than the Kohen or Kohen Gadol? What are the halachot for these types of ...
9
votes
1answer
365 views

In a mixed marriage, is a Jewish woman liable for kareit if they have relations while she's niddah?

I know that per torah, if a (Jewish) man has relations with a woman who is niddah he is punished with kareit. I have been told that in this case the woman is also punished with kareit. Is the ...
8
votes
2answers
837 views

Can a man who has undergone a sex change give his wife a Get?

There have recently been some very high-profile cases of men refusing to give their wives Gittin (plural for "Get", the Jewish divorce document required to free a woman to remarry). Reading about one ...
6
votes
3answers
938 views

Do JONAH and similar organizations successfully help those with same-gender attractions?

Wikipedia's article on homosexuality and Judaism talks about Jewish organizations which aim to help people change. The article mentions JONAH, an organization which works on "prevention, ...
4
votes
1answer
493 views

Getting back together with a girlfriend after she has dated other guys?

Suppose a young Jewish couple, Bob and Jane dated, and had sex. (Yes, I realize premarital sex isn't ideal under orthodox Judaism, but I am interested in the halachic and spiritual implications given ...
3
votes
5answers
295 views

Which to choose: relations with a non Jewish woman or wasting seed

If a man had to choose, which should he choose: relations with a non Jewish woman or wasting seed? Someone told me that he was taught that relations with a non Jewish woman should be chosen (that is ...