THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.
33
votes
5answers
2k views
Rejecting others' friend requests on Facebook [closed]
Inspired by this question:
If one receives a friend request on Facebook, especially from another Jew, is it permissible to reject them?
On the one hand, "חברים כל ישראל" - "All Jews are friends"; ...
23
votes
11answers
756 views
Haman was Basar b’Chalav, so how could we eat him? [closed]
Esther 3:5 says, “וימלא המן חמה” Haman was filled with butter. This would presumably make his flesh basar b’chalav, but Shemos 16:35 clearly says “ובני ישראל אכלו את־המן” the Children of Israel ate ...
17
votes
5answers
1k views
Surviving the zombie apocalypse? [closed]
One of Maimonidies 13 principles of faith is believing in the resurrection of the dead wherein the dead will arise from their graves. My question is have chazal provided any guidelines for how we are ...
13
votes
4answers
699 views
What's up with this strange new hechsher? [closed]
All of a sudden, I’ve seen the hechsher shown in these photos popping up on various products. I’ve never seen it before, and I don’t see it listed on any of the usual online hechsher lists.
Have ...
13
votes
4answers
341 views
Am I yotzei bikur cholim by visiting someone's Facebook page? [closed]
Since people increasingly live their lives online can I be yotzei the mitzvah of bikur cholim by visting the choleh's Facebook page?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
10
votes
4answers
151 views
Mi Yodeya min HaTorah minayin? [closed]
In the spirit of Talmud Bavli Chullin 139b.
The Talmud assumes that great future events are hinted to in the Torah. Well in that case... Mi Yodeya min HaTorah minayin (where is Mi Yodeya hinted at in ...
9
votes
4answers
223 views
heresy on Purim [closed]
On Purim we're supposed to engage in מִשְׁלוֹחַ מִנּוּת, the sending of heresy to our fellow Jews. What are some pieces of heretical literature that are appropriate for sending on Purim? Or ones you'd ...
9
votes
3answers
173 views
How big did Mordechai get, and was it only in the king's palace? [closed]
According to the Megillah (9:4), Mordechai grew to a very large size whenever he was in the king's palace (כִּי־גָדוֹל מָרְדֳּכַי בְּבֵית הַמֶּלֶךְ ... כִּי־הָאִישׁ מָרְדֳּכַי, הוֹלֵךְ וְגָדוֹל).
How ...
9
votes
1answer
125 views
Why didn't Mordechai keep Mitzvos? [closed]
It says in the Megilla "ויאמרו עבדי המלך אשר בשער המלך למרדכי מדוע אתה עובר את מצות המלך" - "The servants of the King (who were in the King's gates) asked Mordechai 'Why do you go against the command ...
8
votes
3answers
182 views
No Offense Loophole [closed]
(Inspired by this question)
Who came up with the No Offense loophole of:
No offense, but your sweater makes you look fat.
OR
No offense, but if you really think what you just said is true, ...
8
votes
1answer
85 views
What are the consequences of Vashti’s dual nature? [closed]
In Esther 1:9 we read,
“ושתי המלכה עשתה משתי נשים”
Vashti the queen was made of two women.
Aside from being biologically surprising, what are the consequences of this in our understanding of the ...
7
votes
7answers
357 views
Eating Hamentashen on Purim [closed]
I've been wondering: how much hamentashen must one consume on purim? Is this independent of type or amount of filling? If not, what kinds of hamentashen qualify?
This question is Purim Torah and is ...
7
votes
2answers
136 views
Are our moderators legal? [closed]
We know there is a famous Drash of "Som Tasim Alecha Melech". From here we have several Diyukim:
Melech velo Malka - How do we have a woman mod?
Melech (singular) - we can only have one mod. How do ...
7
votes
3answers
144 views
Trapping during the week [closed]
The medrosh criticizes Eisov for trapping his father with questions such as "must one tithe salt," yet doesn't specify that it was shobbos, so there should be no melucha of "tzud"! Is this proof that ...
7
votes
2answers
160 views
Zachor from a non-kosher Sefer torah [closed]
We know that one is not yotzeh if he hears Zachor read from a non-kosher Sefer Torah. What is the process of kashering the Sefer Torah so it will be usable? Must one do hag'alah? Does hag'alah work, ...
7
votes
5answers
214 views
If I am obligated to be drunk all the time, how is Purim different? [closed]
We all know the halacha of עִבְדוּ אֶת-יְה-ה בְּשִׂמְחָה (Tehillim 100:2). But the gemara paskens (Pesachim 109a) that since the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash "אין שמחה אלא ביין" ("Joy only comes ...
6
votes
3answers
138 views
Is Daylight Saving Time a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? [closed]
This week many in the U.S. will change their clocks for Daylight Saving Time. Is this a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? I can't seem to find any source for this except a poorly worded and ...
6
votes
5answers
269 views
Is wearing masks on Purim a Biblical Commandment or a Rabbinic Commandment? [closed]
As we all know, wearing masks on Purim is a Mitzva. Is it from the Torah, or was it only originated in the times of Esther, making it Rabbinic?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to ...
6
votes
2answers
77 views
Shmuel on Bava Basra 90a [closed]
והמשתכר אל ישתכר יותר משתות (בבא בתרא 90A)
"One who gets drunk may not get drunk past a sixth."
I have seen four shittos to explain this ruling which is brought l'halacha in ...
5
votes
3answers
329 views
Why does a Hamentash have three sides? [closed]
All Hamentashen that I've seen have three sides and all Hamentashen have filling.
Why is that?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim ...
5
votes
4answers
191 views
Giving turkey to G-d [closed]
In much of our liturgy, we say:
הודו לה' כי-טוב כי לעולם חסדו
Turkey for G-d because it is good, because [His/its] loving-kindness is everlasting.
Also:
טוב להודות לה
It is good to ...
5
votes
3answers
152 views
May a Jewish professional boxer box a Jewish professional beat boxer? [closed]
(Not to be confused with this question.)
Are there any halachic problems with a Jewish boxer boxing a Jewish beat boxer?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely ...
5
votes
3answers
192 views
Tahanun on Superbowl Sunday in competing market? [closed]
Is one supposed to recite תחנון on Superbowl Sunday if he is in the market of a team that is competing? What if it's a multi-team market, like the Jets and the Giants or the Redskins and the Ravens, ...
5
votes
2answers
96 views
Why does the verse in Mishpatim say Vashti ruled over fewer countries than mentioned in Ester? [closed]
As we come to the close of Shabbas Mishpatim, I will ask a question that I am sure has troubled many.
The verse (23:31) tells us:
ושתי את גבולך מים סוף ועד ים פלשתים וממדבר עד הנהר
Vashti: ...
5
votes
2answers
80 views
How do I make my Adars the same? [closed]
The mishnah (Megillah 1:4) tells us:
אֵין בֵּין אַדָּר הָרִאשׁוֹן לַאֲדָר הַשֵּׁנִי אֶלָּא קְרִיאַת הַמְּגִלָּה וּמַתָּנוֹת לָאֶבְיוֹנִים
There is no difference between the Adar I and Adar II ...
5
votes
1answer
112 views
May a Jew be a professional beat boxer? [closed]
(Not to be confused with this question.)
Are there any halachic problems with a Jew being a professional beat boxer? (For those unfamiliar, click the speaker icon here for audio.)
This question is ...
4
votes
5answers
157 views
What's an “achashvei”? [closed]
From my preschooler:
What's an Achashvei?
I know that a rosh is a head. I want to know what kind of head Achashveirosh was.
Can you help me come up with a satisfying answer? I'd prefer not ...
4
votes
5answers
155 views
On the qualifications to be queen of Persia [closed]
In the first chapter of Ester, Achashverosh is advised that his queen, Vashti, be removed from her position
…וּמַלְכוּתָהּ יִתֵּן הַמֶּלֶךְ לִרְעוּתָהּ הַטּוֹבָה מִמֶּנָּה. וְנִשְׁמַע ...
4
votes
4answers
143 views
ואם תאמר— but what if we didn't say anything? [closed]
When Tosafos or other Rishonim introduce a question with the phrase "and if it were said" (my translation) do they mean to imply that the question is b'dieved and everything would make more sense if ...
4
votes
3answers
111 views
Why does it matter that Mordechai was right-handed? [closed]
In Esther 2:5, it says
אִישׁ יְהוּדִי, הָיָה בְּשׁוּשַׁן הַבִּירָה; וּשְׁמוֹ מָרְדֳּכַי, בֶּן יָאִיר בֶּן-שִׁמְעִי בֶּן-קִישׁ--אִישׁ יְמִינִי
There was a certain Jew in Shushan the castle, ...
4
votes
1answer
109 views
Multiplying negatives = 2 Bediavads [closed]
If multiplying two negatives equals a positve then shouldn't two Bedieveds equal a Lechatehila?
E.G. I heard from a HaRav Mansour Shelit"a that if one washes one's self with Tisha Kabin, then it ...
4
votes
1answer
95 views
Some narrative difficulties related to the Midrash that identifies Haman with a previously-named character [closed]
If I recall correctly, there's a Midrash that, consistent with the "rule of conservation of Biblical personalities", identifies Haman with one of the people who shows up in the first two chapters of ...
4
votes
0answers
70 views
Reading the Megillah on Friday [closed]
I accidentally read the Megillah tonight for my shul since last year, I could have sworn, that we read the Megillah right after the fast. Yet, the Rav of the Shul returned from a business trip after ...
3
votes
6answers
330 views
the danger of eating matza [closed]
We should not be allowed to eat מצה on פסח! After all, it's made with מים שלנו ("our water"; that is, water that's been sitting out for hours and hours), and חז״ל say there's a risk of poisoning, ר״ל, ...
3
votes
2answers
134 views
What was the biggest miracle in the time of the Megilla? [closed]
There were many miracles in the time of the Megilla. What was the biggest one?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
3
votes
3answers
165 views
The media in Shushan [closed]
Esther 10:2 says:
הֲלוֹא-הֵם כְּתוּבִים, עַל-סֵפֶר דִּבְרֵי הַיָּמִים, לְמַלְכֵי מָדַי
Behold, they are written in the book of chronicles of the kings of the media.
Who were the kings ...
3
votes
3answers
91 views
Why did Lavan say “Ashre”? [closed]
In parashas "Vayetze", 31:25, we have the following in Onkelos:
וְאַדְבֵּיק לָבָן יָת יַעֲקֹב וְיַעֲקֹב פְּרַס יָת מַשְׁכְּנֵהּ בְּטוּרָא וְלָבָן אַשְׁרֵי יָת אֲחוֹהִי בְּטוּרָא דְּגִלְעָד.
...
3
votes
2answers
138 views
How frequently does G-d destroy? [closed]
At the beginning of the weekday Maariv prayer service, we say a verse from Psalms 78:38.
The Artscroll translation reads:
"He the Merciful One is forgiving of iniquity and does not destroy ...
3
votes
2answers
91 views
Is there a prohibition to live in a Moshav? [closed]
Tehilim says that Dovid didn't sit in a moshav leitzim (implying that we shouldn't either).
Is living in another moshav prohibited as "Chatzi Shiur"?
This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
3
votes
1answer
120 views
Im l'eit kazot higa'at lamalchut - mi yodeya? [closed]
Who knows if you come to royalty for a time like this?
?אם לעת כזאת, הגעת למלכות - מי יודע
In the spirit of the song "Shoshanat Ya'akov", please post interesting Jewish facts about the significance ...
3
votes
1answer
102 views
Stirah: is snow good or bad in Judaism? [closed]
On the one hand, we pray that our sins should become white like snow (kashelek yalbinu). On the other hand, we repeatedly find snow representing negative feelings: "Vayosifu Od SNOW oso" and "Eis ...
2
votes
4answers
101 views
Mah tov la-adam bachayim - mi yodeya? [closed]
Who knows what is good for a person in life?
?מה טוב לאדם בחיים - מי יודע
Contrary to the spirit of Kohelet 6:12, please post happy and lighthearted Jewish prescriptions for what is good for a ...
2
votes
2answers
191 views
Eating before leaning on Esther [closed]
Did Haman eat at the party before Ahashveirosh caught him "leaning" on Esther?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
2
votes
2answers
108 views
How much is keifel for Gneivas Daas? [closed]
When one steals knowledge (Gneivas Daas) and gets caught by witnesses, how does he pay back double?
PS.
Why is there no Gzeilas Daas?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
2
votes
2answers
77 views
Whence “Purim”? [closed]
M'gilas Ester is very clear about the name of the holiday (9:26):
עַל כֵּן קָרְאוּ לַיָּמִים הָאֵלֶּה פוּרִים
So they called these days F urim
Where does the current name of Purim come from?
...
2
votes
1answer
142 views
kalus rosh in a bes midrash [closed]
A happy Adar to all!
The משנה in אבות says "הֱוֵי קַל לָרֹאשׁ", on which the רע״ב writes:לפני אדם גדול זקן ויושב בראש בישיבה, הוי קל לעבוד עבודתו ולשמש לפניו
Thus we see that one should exercise ...
2
votes
1answer
74 views
Are folded Hamentaschen Yotzei the three corners? [closed]
If I cut circles of dough with the intention of folding the edges into three corners, am I Yotzei the Mitzvah of Hamentaschen?
As far as I know, this is the standard way of making Hamentaschen these ...
2
votes
0answers
94 views
What’s Doctor Who doing in the Talmud? [closed]
Among the early amoraim is
ר׳ יוחנן נפחא
(Rabbi Yochanan Nafcha), brother-in-law to the amora Resh Lakish.
His name translates as John Smith;
cf. Wikipedia
and Morfix.
This obviously refers to
the ...
2
votes
0answers
67 views
Can I walk out of class? [closed]
If I am in a class where the teacher asks "illegal questions" (an "Ein Lomar"), what must I do?
If I stay, I would now have those questions - very bedieved.
If I close my ears I would have violated ...
2
votes
1answer
67 views
How should I choose a Muktzah Klaf? [closed]
(Not to be confused with this question.)
I recently moved, and all my Klafim got mixed up. I have some for Mezuzoth, some for Tefillin, and some for Sifrei Torah. It just so happens that I was ...
