THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

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74 views

Does the oven have a nose and more than one eye?

In the Mishnah, Seder Teharot, Mesechet Calim, in 8:3, talking about an oven, it states: ואין לה גפים, It doesn't have גפים, which K'hati explains to mean היינו אזניים These are ears. And ...
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1answer
94 views

Can Frankenstein's Golem wear women's clothing on Purim?

We know that Rebbe Victor Frankenstein created a golem (the English called it a monster) during the 18th century. Since Frankenstein was Jewish, I've been wondering about the halakhot that apply to ...
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1answer
58 views

What do we have against Aleinu?

Whenever I hear someone saying something bad to someone else (like "You heard, Shprintzy, someone opened up competition to R' Itzik's Mi Yodea.", gasp, "Lo Aleinu"). Why shouldn't Aleinu? This ...
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1answer
69 views

Why did Shlomo Marry His Sister

In several places in Shir HaShirim Shlomo references his love affair with his sister (e.g. 4:9, 4:10, 4:12, 5:1, 5:2). Why did he pursue this relationship? Was this some application of "Assei Doche ...
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0answers
49 views

Why would someone offer an Asheira to Hashem?

There's a verse in Tehillim which says "Asheira LaHashem Ki Gamal Alai". Just because there's a camel on me I'm going to burn an Avoda Zara as a sacrifice? Moreover, when I think it was Gidon did ...
6
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0answers
154 views

Reading the Megillah on Friday

I accidentally read the Megillah tonight for my shul since last year, I could have sworn, that we read the Megillah right after the fast. Yet, the Rav of the Shul returned from a business trip after ...
4
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0answers
54 views

Source For Different Streams of Judaism

How loyal have Chassidim, Charedim, and Tzionim been to their source texts, Sefer Chassidim, Sefer Charedim, and Sefer Hatzioni, respectively? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be ...
2
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0answers
23 views

Are there reliable Rav Hamchshir for certified pre-owned Hondas?

In my neighborhood, many of my frum neighbors drive Honda Odysseys. They are a popular minivan esp. for families with lots of kids. I asked someone about her car and what it costs. She said that she ...
2
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0answers
37 views

Is Kenny Ratzon a Kohen?

Each time the chazzan recites a verse from Birkat Kohanim near the end of Chazarat Hashat"z, I hear the congregation yelling "Kenny Ratzon". Who is he? Is he a Kohen? This question is Purim Torah and ...
2
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0answers
44 views

Halachically, is making a tefillin shel yad with a retractable strap permissible?

I'm tired of winding the straps of my tefillin shel yad! I can't get it balanced correctly; it keeps unraveling; it gets caught in the zipper of the bag... So, I'm thinking of inventing a retractable ...
1
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0answers
48 views

Dr. Bronner's Soap in the bathroom

Let's hope this question will be a tikkun for thinking about Purim Torah in the bathroom. And, for that matter, for having Dr. Bronner's soap in the bathroom. It's great soap. But there may be Torah ...
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0answers
44 views

Possible Real Live קויצת הדרך?

I was perusing an sefer by הגאון הנביא רב פרנק הרברט זצוק״ל. In it he records an obscure prophesy from ספר דון which esoterically discusses משיח ובשמים in the מדבר. While the language is dense, I was ...
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0answers
44 views

How could Mordechai become famous?

Lets (לץ) remember that the remez to Esther in the Torah is :ואנכי הסתר אסתיר. חולין קלז Lets (לץ) also remember that the name Kish in Mordechai's lineage was used as a drasha in Maseches Megila ...
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0answers
19 views

Why do we fast on “Chinese” Esther?

The other day, someone in shul asked me if I'm fasting for "Chinese" Esther? I've heard of Ta'anis Esther. But what is "Chinese" Esther??? I tried to look this up in the mefarshim, but I don't see ...
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0answers
29 views

Why does G-d hide his honor from His own attendants?

In the Shabbat / Yom Tov Musaf, there's a phrase that translates as: "משרתיו שואלים זח לזח איה מקום כבודו" "His attendants ask each other, 'Where is the place of His honor?'" We say this each ...
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0answers
19 views

Has anyone invented pants so that tzizit don't get caught in the zipper?

I am tired of arbah kanfos-tration! I read somewhere that someone has invented tzitzit that don't get stuck in the pants zipper. I asked someone about it and he warned me that the material can be ...