THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

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78 views

Does the oven have a nose and more than one eye?

In the Mishnah, Seder Teharot, Mesechet Calim, in 8:3, talking about an oven, it states: ואין לה גפים, It doesn't have גפים, which K'hati explains to mean היינו אזניים These are ears. And ...
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1answer
98 views

Can Frankenstein's Golem wear women's clothing on Purim?

We know that Rebbe Victor Frankenstein created a golem (the English called it a monster) during the 18th century. Since Frankenstein was Jewish, I've been wondering about the halakhot that apply to ...
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1answer
67 views

What do we have against Aleinu?

Whenever I hear someone saying something bad to someone else (like "You heard, Shprintzy, someone opened up competition to R' Itzik's Mi Yodea.", gasp, "Lo Aleinu"). Why shouldn't Aleinu? This ...
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1answer
86 views

Why did Shlomo Marry His Sister

In several places in Shir HaShirim Shlomo references his love affair with his sister (e.g. 4:9, 4:10, 4:12, 5:1, 5:2). Why did he pursue this relationship? Was this some application of "Assei Doche ...
6
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0answers
52 views

Why would someone offer an Asheira to Hashem?

There's a verse in Tehillim which says "Asheira LaHashem Ki Gamal Alai". Just because there's a camel on me I'm going to burn an Avoda Zara as a sacrifice? Moreover, when I think it was Gidon did ...
6
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0answers
155 views

Reading the Megillah on Friday

I accidentally read the Megillah tonight for my shul since last year, I could have sworn, that we read the Megillah right after the fast. Yet, the Rav of the Shul returned from a business trip after ...
4
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0answers
56 views

Source For Different Streams of Judaism

How loyal have Chassidim, Charedim, and Tzionim been to their source texts, Sefer Chassidim, Sefer Charedim, and Sefer Hatzioni, respectively? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be ...
2
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0answers
11 views

Can I use M.Y. bounty as a means of Matanot L'evyonim?

Matanot L'evyonim is a Purim mitzvah to give gifts to at least 2 poor people. An "evyon" is described as "poor". But he could be "poor" in anything, not necessarily monetary means. There are a ...
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0answers
40 views

Is Kenny Ratzon a Kohen?

Each time the chazzan recites a verse from Birkat Kohanim near the end of Chazarat Hashat"z, I hear the congregation yelling "Kenny Ratzon". Who is he? Is he a Kohen? This question is Purim Torah and ...
2
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0answers
44 views

Halachically, is making a tefillin shel yad with a retractable strap permissible?

I'm tired of winding the straps of my tefillin shel yad! I can't get it balanced correctly; it keeps unraveling; it gets caught in the zipper of the bag... So, I'm thinking of inventing a retractable ...
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0answers
50 views

Dr. Bronner's Soap in the bathroom

Let's hope this question will be a tikkun for thinking about Purim Torah in the bathroom. And, for that matter, for having Dr. Bronner's soap in the bathroom. It's great soap. But there may be Torah ...
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0answers
85 views

Why is the Talmud so disparaging towards the “Am Ha'aretz”?

I was shocked when I read in Talmud Pesachim 49a that one should not allow his daughter to marry an "Am Ha'aretz" an ignoramus. Yet, our forefather Avraham was tremendously gracious and respectful to ...
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0answers
44 views

Possible Real Live קויצת הדרך?

I was perusing an sefer by הגאון הנביא רב פרנק הרברט זצוק״ל. In it he records an obscure prophesy from ספר דון which esoterically discusses משיח ובשמים in the מדבר. While the language is dense, I was ...
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0answers
45 views

How could Mordechai become famous?

Lets (לץ) remember that the remez to Esther in the Torah is :ואנכי הסתר אסתיר. חולין קלז Lets (לץ) also remember that the name Kish in Mordechai's lineage was used as a drasha in Maseches Megila ...
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0answers
6 views

Can I make a chulent from Mishloach Manot left-overs?

I have all these left-over milchig wafers, candies and chocolate bars from al the mishloach manot. Can I make a milchig chulent with these ingredients or must chulent be specifically fleishig? I ...
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0answers
32 views

Why does G-d hide his honor from His own attendants?

In the Shabbat / Yom Tov Musaf, there's a phrase that translates as: "משרתיו שואלים זח לזח איה מקום כבודו" "His attendants ask each other, 'Where is the place of His honor?'" We say this each ...
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0answers
33 views

How do we kill all of the cats in Israel?

The cats must be stopped. Its either them or us. What is the most effective, and halachically acceptable, method to remove all cats from Israel? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to ...
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0answers
51 views

Why do we fast on “Chinese” Esther?

The other day, someone in shul asked me if I'm fasting for "Chinese" Esther? I've heard of Ta'anis Esther. But what is "Chinese" Esther??? I tried to look this up in the mefarshim, but I don't see ...