THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

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7
votes
3answers
486 views

Why does a Hamentash have three sides? [closed]

All Hamentashen that I've seen have three sides and all Hamentashen have filling. Why is that? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim ...
30
votes
11answers
1k views

Haman was Basar b’Chalav, so how could we eat him? [closed]

Esther 3:5 says, “וימלא המן חמה” Haman was filled with butter. This would presumably make his flesh basar b’chalav, but Shemos 16:35 clearly says “ובני ישראל אכלו את־המן” the Children of Israel ate ...
16
votes
7answers
4k views

PTIJ: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? [closed]

The classic philosophical question: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? So, according to Purim Torah Judaism, does it? Sources please. ;) This ...
13
votes
4answers
477 views

heresy on Purim [closed]

On Purim we're supposed to engage in מִשְׁלוֹחַ מִנּוּת, the sending of heresy to our fellow Jews. What are some pieces of heretical literature that are appropriate for sending on Purim? Or ones you'd ...
10
votes
3answers
330 views

No Offense Loophole [closed]

(Inspired by this question) Who came up with the No Offense loophole of: No offense, but your sweater makes you look fat. OR No offense, but if you really think what you just said is true, ...
8
votes
7answers
487 views

Eating Hamentashen on Purim [closed]

I've been wondering: how much hamentashen must one consume on purim? Is this independent of type or amount of filling? If not, what kinds of hamentashen qualify? This question is Purim Torah and is ...
20
votes
8answers
6k views

What does Judaism think of math? [closed]

Is it permissible according to halacha to do math? If so, are all kinds of math OK? This question and its answers are Purim Torah and are not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the ...
16
votes
2answers
310 views

Why did I become queen? [closed]

I'm Ester from the Purim story. My uncle Mordechai advised me to ask here on Mi Yodeya why Hashem made me queen of Persia, as it says: וּמִי יוֹדֵעַ אִם לְעֵת כָּזֹאת הִגַּעַתְּ לַמַּלְכוּת So, ...
8
votes
5answers
240 views

What's an “achashvei”? [closed]

From my preschooler: What's an Achashvei? I know that a rosh is a head. I want to know what kind of head Achashveirosh was. Can you help me come up with a satisfying answer? I'd prefer not ...
5
votes
3answers
281 views

Is Cholent DeOraitha or DeRabbanan? [closed]

As definitively proven by an 'Am HaAretz Gamur MiDeOraitha (a title of high distinction if ever there was one), eating Cholent on Shabbath is required. Every week. Without exception. But is this ...
9
votes
2answers
175 views

Why did David only seem to prohibit a Moshav Leitzim? [closed]

This question mentions the prohibition against living in a Moshav Leitzim. My question is, what about a Yishuv Leitzim or a Kibbutz Leitzim or a Kfar Leitzim? How could David have been so ambiguous? ...
4
votes
3answers
148 views

Why did Lavan say “Ashre”? [closed]

In parashas "Vayetze", 31:25, we have the following in Onkelos: וְאַדְבֵּיק לָבָן יָת יַעֲקֹב וְיַעֲקֹב פְּרַס יָת מַשְׁכְּנֵהּ בְּטוּרָא וְלָבָן אַשְׁרֵי יָת אֲחוֹהִי בְּטוּרָא דְּגִלְעָד.‏ ...
3
votes
1answer
171 views

Im l'eit kazot higa'at lamalchut - mi yodeya? [closed]

Who knows if you come to royalty for a time like this? ?אם לעת כזאת, הגעת למלכות - מי יודע In the spirit of the song "Shoshanat Ya'akov", please post interesting Jewish facts about the significance ...
2
votes
6answers
417 views

Can I Have a Chumra Please? [closed]

I'm looking to take on a really, really, really enourmous chumra which will greatly affect my life to show how dedicated I am to Hashem. Does anyone have any suggestions? This question is Purim ...
24
votes
5answers
2k views

Surviving the zombie apocalypse? [closed]

One of Maimonidies 13 principles of faith is believing in the resurrection of the dead wherein the dead will arise from their graves. My question is have chazal provided any guidelines for how we are ...
15
votes
4answers
1k views

What's up with this strange new hechsher? [closed]

All of a sudden, I’ve seen the hechsher shown in these photos popping up on various products. I’ve never seen it before, and I don’t see it listed on any of the usual online hechsher lists. Have ...
12
votes
5answers
1k views

Neder to not eat pizza [closed]

If I make a vow to not eat pizza, what can I not eat? On the one hand, it would seem that bread with sauce and cheese on it is called pizza, as that is what they give you in a pizza shop when you ...
8
votes
5answers
405 views

If I am obligated to be drunk all the time, how is Purim different? [closed]

We all know the halacha of עִבְדוּ אֶת-יְה-ה בְּשִׂמְחָה (Tehillim 100:2). But the gemara paskens (Pesachim 109a) that since the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash "אין שמחה אלא ביין" ("Joy only comes ...
3
votes
2answers
236 views

What was the biggest miracle in the time of the Megilla? [closed]

There were many miracles in the time of the Megilla. What was the biggest one? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
17
votes
10answers
8k views

What is the Torah preferred brand of cell phone? [closed]

I have heard of Kosher phones. What do the classic sources (preferably Rishonim or earlier) say about the preferred type and brand of cell phone? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended ...
12
votes
3answers
324 views

How big did Mordechai get, and was it only in the king's palace? [closed]

According to the Megillah (9:4), Mordechai grew to a very large size whenever he was in the king's palace (כִּי־גָדוֹל מָרְדֳּכַי בְּבֵית הַמֶּלֶךְ ... כִּי־הָאִישׁ מָרְדֳּכַי, הוֹלֵךְ וְגָדוֹל). How ...
12
votes
4answers
510 views

Am I yotzei bikur cholim by visiting someone's Facebook page? [closed]

Since people increasingly live their lives online can I be yotzei the mitzvah of bikur cholim by visting the choleh's Facebook page? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
10
votes
6answers
153 views

What did “נ ג ה פ” stand for before the miracle? [closed]

As is well known, the reason we play dreidel on Hanukkah is this: Before the miracle of Hanukkah, when the gentiles who controlled the land severely restricted Torah study, Jewish children would ...
9
votes
4answers
168 views

Why didn't Esther listen to Mordechai's instructions? [closed]

Mordechai instructed Esther the Queen, וּמִי יוֹדֵעַ אִם לְעֵת כָּזֹאת הִגַּעַתְּ לַמַּלְכוּת Translation: Ask on Mi Yodeya if this is the reason you came to be a Queen. (It seems that ...
9
votes
1answer
198 views

Why didn't Mordechai keep Mitzvos? [closed]

It says in the Megilla "ויאמרו עבדי המלך אשר בשער המלך למרדכי מדוע אתה עובר את מצות המלך" - "The servants of the King (who were in the King's gates) asked Mordechai 'Why do you go against the command ...
8
votes
2answers
125 views

“Can't argue with that?” Says who? [closed]

There is a famous Jewish adage "על טעם ועל ריח אין להתווכח". However, amazingly, one can find a plethora of disagreements in the Talmud and Halachic works whether reicha lav milsa hi or if ta'am is ...
8
votes
2answers
184 views

whats the diffrence [closed]

Whits teh difference btween arur hAman and Baruch mosses? -- This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy
7
votes
3answers
184 views

Is Daylight Saving Time a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? [closed]

This week many in the U.S. will change their clocks for Daylight Saving Time. Is this a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? I can't seem to find any source for this except a poorly worded and ...
7
votes
7answers
536 views

Is wearing masks on Purim a Biblical Commandment or a Rabbinic Commandment? [closed]

As we all know, wearing masks on Purim is a Mitzva. Is it from the Torah, or was it only originated in the times of Esther, making it Rabbinic? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to ...
6
votes
4answers
80 views

Matzah and Maror: With Garlic? [closed]

During the Seder, near the end of the maggid, we learn about the manner in which the Korban Pesach, the matzah, and the maror were consumed. In reference to the latter two, the haggadah reads: ...
6
votes
1answer
125 views

Graciously accepting gifts [closed]

I delivered Shalach Manos today to a number of people. Much to my dismay, everyone accepted them graciously and gratefully, and not a single person expressed how disappointed they were with my gifts. ...
6
votes
3answers
215 views

The media in Shushan [closed]

Esther 10:2 says: הֲלוֹא-הֵם כְּתוּבִים, עַל-סֵפֶר דִּבְרֵי הַיָּמִים, לְמַלְכֵי מָדַי Behold, they are written in the book of chronicles of the kings of the media. Who were the kings ...
4
votes
4answers
229 views

ואם תאמר— but what if we didn't say anything? [closed]

When Tosafos or other Rishonim introduce a question with the phrase "and if it were said" (my translation) do they mean to imply that the question is b'dieved and everything would make more sense if ...
3
votes
4answers
72 views

Gzeira Shava By Purim [closed]

We know that the Gemara darshens the laws of Purim from Yom Kippur. If so why are we not obligated to fast on Purim? יליף פורים פורים מיום הכפורים This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
3
votes
1answer
142 views

How could Pharaoh bring sacrifices? [closed]

The Torah teaches us that Pharaoh brought korbanos (Shemos 14:10) ופרעה הקריב Pharaoh offered sacrifices It is not clear what sacrifices Pharaoh brought, however the Torah tells us a ...
2
votes
5answers
1k views

Why do we drink malt whisky? [closed]

It's a Jewish tradition to serve malt whisky at simchas and to drink this also on Purim (in addition to wine at the seuda). From where does this custom derive? This question is Purim Torah and is ...
2
votes
2answers
155 views

Whence “Purim”? [closed]

M'gilas Ester is very clear about the name of the holiday (9:26): עַל כֵּן קָרְאוּ לַיָּמִים הָאֵלֶּה פוּרִים So they called these days F urim Where does the current name of Purim come from? ...
2
votes
4answers
133 views

Mah tov la-adam bachayim - mi yodeya? [closed]

Who knows what is good for a person in life? ?מה טוב לאדם בחיים - מי יודע Contrary to the spirit of Kohelet 6:12, please post happy and lighthearted Jewish prescriptions for what is good for a ...
1
vote
2answers
77 views

Domo Rigato - in what way? [closed]

A popular yiddishe song incorporates the following refrain: "Domo Rigato, Mister Roboto!" Now, the correct pronunciation of the second word is actually "arigato." This means the famous refrain ...
1
vote
2answers
263 views

Why do people drink expensive alcohol on purim? [closed]

The main point of drinking on purim is to be drunk. So why did the Rabbis establish the requirement to drink wine? Vodka gets one there faster and cheaper, so it should be preferable to drink it, as ...
1
vote
2answers
123 views

Daylight Saving Time - forward or backward? [closed]

Halachically speaking, do I have to set my clocks forward one hour in the spring, or can I set them back one hour (this will give me two hours more in my day than everyone setting their clocks forward ...
0
votes
1answer
89 views

Origin of משלוח מנות [closed]

In which part of the Persian Kingdom did the concept of משלוח מנות originate? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.