THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

learn more… | top users | synonyms

3
votes
2answers
265 views

What does family have to do with the bad dog?

I often here people mention Canine Hara, the bad dog. However, it seems especially common to refer to it when discussing family. For example: I have ten children, Canine Hara. or My ...
3
votes
3answers
125 views

How does one who can hold his liquor afflict himself on Purim?

According to the answers to this question, one is obligated to afflict himself on Purim. The achroynim say that one fulfills this obligation by getting drunk. However, the true affliction only occurs ...
3
votes
2answers
153 views

Is there a prohibition to live in a Moshav? [closed]

Tehilim says that Dovid didn't sit in a moshav leitzim (implying that we shouldn't either). Is living in another moshav prohibited as "Chatzi Shiur"? This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
3
votes
1answer
166 views

Im l'eit kazot higa'at lamalchut - mi yodeya? [closed]

Who knows if you come to royalty for a time like this? ?אם לעת כזאת, הגעת למלכות - מי יודע In the spirit of the song "Shoshanat Ya'akov", please post interesting Jewish facts about the significance ...
3
votes
5answers
110 views

Are there any situations historically, where people are named after names of Tefillot?

I know some people who were named after various tefillot: Asher Yatzar Annie Zemiros Roz Sodecha Billy Reishis Billy Tachlis Moe Dim Al Coulomb (He's an electrician) Does the Talmud or any other ...
3
votes
1answer
65 views

What is Leibush Up To

The verse in Proverbs (19:21) states regarding Leibush: רבות מחשבות בלביש ועצת ה' היא תקום "Many thoughts are in Leibush, but God's plan will prevail". Who is Leibush and what is he planning? ...
3
votes
1answer
38 views

Why can't a Tanna write a get?

The gemara (Gittin 84b) writes כל התנאין פוסלין בגט All Tannaim invalidate a get (my very own translation) Why is it that a rabbi of the mishna will invalidate a get (divorce document) by ...
3
votes
1answer
139 views

How could Pharaoh bring sacrifices? [closed]

The Torah teaches us that Pharaoh brought korbanos (Shemos 14:10) ופרעה הקריב Pharaoh offered sacrifices It is not clear what sacrifices Pharaoh brought, however the Torah tells us a ...
3
votes
1answer
70 views

חזרה שבועה לסיני [closed]

The gemara states explicitly (Bava Metzia 3a) תני רבי חייא מנה לי בידך Rabbi Chiya teaches: "You owe me 100 zuz." I showed this gemara to my chavrusa and told him that I expected to be paid in ...
3
votes
1answer
67 views

If a lamb gets lost in a flax field, does it become shatnez?

What do Sha'ul Hamelech (before he was king) and Little Bo Peep have in common? Their sheep got lost. If their, or someone's sheep got lost in a flax field, and rolled around or ate some of the flax, ...
3
votes
1answer
189 views

Stirah: is snow good or bad in Judaism? [closed]

On the one hand, we pray that our sins should become white like snow (kashelek yalbinu). On the other hand, we repeatedly find snow representing negative feelings: "Vayosifu Od SNOW oso" and "Eis ...
3
votes
0answers
190 views

What’s Doctor Who doing in the Talmud? [closed]

Among the early amoraim is ר׳ יוחנן נפחא (Rabbi Yochanan Nafcha), brother-in-law to the amora Resh Lakish. His name translates as John Smith; cf. Wikipedia and Morfix. This obviously refers to the ...
2
votes
6answers
404 views

Can I Have a Chumra Please? [closed]

I'm looking to take on a really, really, really enourmous chumra which will greatly affect my life to show how dedicated I am to Hashem. Does anyone have any suggestions? This question is Purim ...
2
votes
5answers
1k views

Why do we drink malt whisky?

It's a Jewish tradition to serve malt whisky at simchas and to drink this also on Purim (in addition to wine at the seuda). From where does this custom derive? This question is Purim Torah and is ...
2
votes
4answers
131 views

Mah tov la-adam bachayim - mi yodeya? [closed]

Who knows what is good for a person in life? ?מה טוב לאדם בחיים - מי יודע Contrary to the spirit of Kohelet 6:12, please post happy and lighthearted Jewish prescriptions for what is good for a ...
2
votes
2answers
242 views

Eating before leaning on Esther [closed]

Did Haman eat at the party before Ahashveirosh caught him "leaning" on Esther? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
2
votes
3answers
155 views

What did the brave shul men die from?

A plaque in the back of my shul says: "This plaque is in memory of all the brave men that died during service." It seems that these men died during the middle of davening or something. What did they ...
2
votes
4answers
95 views

Are there any Judaic on-line stores that sell Yiddishe cups?

I've checked Eichler's and even looked on EBay but I haven't found a real Yiddishe drinking cup, preferably one strong enough for piping hot coffee. Does anyone know any on-line site that sells them? ...
2
votes
3answers
249 views

Does the Torah tell us what to eat at the Purim meal? [closed]

Since we know that the Torah instructs us in every aspect of our lives, are there any instructions about what to eat at the Purim meal? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
2
votes
2answers
235 views

How do we fulfill the positive commandment to be crazy? [closed]

How do we fulfill the positive commandment in Devarim 28:34 which commands us to be crazy: וְהָיִיתָ, מְשֻׁגָּע This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely ...
2
votes
4answers
54 views

Can a person increase in joy before Adar?

It is written: משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה (When Adar comes we increase in joy) If a person started to get happy on Tu b'Shevat instead, is this permissible b'dieved (after the fact)? What if ...
2
votes
4answers
92 views

Is one allowed to fly a “Yiddish” Kite on Shabbat?

A "Yiddish" kite is a special kite that is shaped like a huge piece of kishke and has the words, "Ah Gitten Shabbess" (In Yiddish) on it. Assuming that there is an Eruv, would one be allowed to fly ...
2
votes
2answers
56 views

Love Shalom and Kill Shalom?

The mishna says in pirkei avos: הוי מתלמידיו של אהרן, אוהב שלום ורודף שלום How is this possible in practice? The minute someone sees you being rodef shalom they'll either injury you or kill you! ...
2
votes
2answers
139 views

Whence “Purim”? [closed]

M'gilas Ester is very clear about the name of the holiday (9:26): עַל כֵּן קָרְאוּ לַיָּמִים הָאֵלֶּה פוּרִים So they called these days F urim Where does the current name of Purim come from? ...
2
votes
2answers
194 views

Where is a Leitz supposed to live? [closed]

If it's prohibited to live among Leitzim, what is someone supposed to do if he is a Leitz? Just where exactly is he supposed to live? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
2
votes
1answer
66 views

Whats wrong with a purple female messiah?

In keeping with the practice of taking half a sentence out of context, and playing with the translation in the name of Purim Torah, I will quote maseches Kilaim, chapter nine, mishna nine. משיחות ...
2
votes
1answer
61 views

Correct way to sing

Many Jewish songs have a low part and a high part. For example: Acheinu, Ko Amar Hashem Zacharti, Habbet, Baruch Hu Elokeinu... For these songs, my Yesiva is careful to sing the low part twice, the ...
2
votes
1answer
211 views

kalus rosh in a bes midrash [closed]

A happy Adar to all! The משנה in אבות says "הֱוֵי קַל לָרֹאשׁ", on which the רע״ב writes:לפני אדם גדול זקן ויושב בראש בישיבה, הוי קל לעבוד עבודתו ולשמש לפניו Thus we see that one should exercise ...
2
votes
1answer
73 views

Rashis opinion in the Megilla? [closed]

At Har Sinai the Jews became converts, for we learn Hilchos Geirus from Kabalas Hatorah as the Gemara in Krisos 9a says that all the male Jews who exited Egypt circumcised themselves at Mount Sinai as ...
2
votes
1answer
115 views

Are folded Hamentaschen Yotzei the three corners? [closed]

If I cut circles of dough with the intention of folding the edges into three corners, am I Yotzei the Mitzvah of Hamentaschen? As far as I know, this is the standard way of making Hamentaschen these ...
2
votes
0answers
17 views

Are there reliable Rav Hamchshir for certified pre-owned Hondas?

In my neighborhood, many of my frum neighbors drive Honda Odysseys. They are a popular minivan esp. for families with lots of kids. I asked someone about her car and what it costs. She said that she ...
2
votes
0answers
37 views

Is Kenny Ratzon a Kohen?

Each time the chazzan recites a verse from Birkat Kohanim near the end of Chazarat Hashat"z, I hear the congregation yelling "Kenny Ratzon". Who is he? Is he a Kohen? This question is Purim Torah and ...
2
votes
0answers
44 views

Halachically, is making a tefillin shel yad with a retractable strap permissible?

I'm tired of winding the straps of my tefillin shel yad! I can't get it balanced correctly; it keeps unraveling; it gets caught in the zipper of the bag... So, I'm thinking of inventing a retractable ...
2
votes
1answer
91 views

How should I choose a Muktzah Klaf? [closed]

(Not to be confused with this question.) I recently moved, and all my Klafim got mixed up. I have some for Mezuzoth, some for Tefillin, and some for Sifrei Torah. It just so happens that I was ...
1
vote
2answers
238 views

Why do people drink expensive alcohol on purim? [closed]

The main point of drinking on purim is to be drunk. So why did the Rabbis establish the requirement to drink wine? Vodka gets one there faster and cheaper, so it should be preferable to drink it, as ...
1
vote
2answers
43 views

Is the name Avner ben Ner “backwards”?

Avner means "the father of Ner", but Avner's actual father was named just "Ner"! Shouldn't Avner's father have been called "Avner", and the son have been called "Ner"? This question is Purim Torah ...
1
vote
2answers
121 views

Daylight Saving Time - forward or backward? [closed]

Halachically speaking, do I have to set my clocks forward one hour in the spring, or can I set them back one hour (this will give me two hours more in my day than everyone setting their clocks forward ...
1
vote
3answers
50 views

What profit can you get from having a dummy?

Tehillim 30:10 מַה-בֶּצַע בְּדָמִי What profit is there in a dummy? I don't know ... perhaps this is a dum question? Is there any profit in having a dummy? Dum-de-dum-dum... This question is ...
1
vote
4answers
70 views

What do you do first - light the Chanukia or read the Migillah?

Let's say you do Tosefet Yom Tov on Chanukah. Some people just add a couple hours, but some people are really-extra-super-Machmir and light till Purim. What do you do first - light your Chanukah ...
1
vote
3answers
184 views

Why does the Megilla assume the listeners are hard of hearing? [closed]

The Megilla starts, Narrator: And it was in the days of Achasverosh Audience: Who? Narrator: Achasverosh Why does the Megilla assume that the people listening are hard of hearing? ...
1
vote
1answer
43 views

If not now, when?

Gee, am I surprised that AFAIK, no one on M.Y. has ever asked for the answer to this question. In Pirkei Avot 1:14, Hillel says, "If not now, when?" O.K. I'm going to do a test .. I'm giving Hillel ...
1
vote
1answer
53 views

Does Bullwinkle visit each shul after davening each Monday morning?

At the end of every Monday morning davening, I hear the chazan say: "Hu Yenahagenu al moose." - He will make us ride on a moose. Does that mean that Bullwinkle visits the shul each Monday and ...
1
vote
2answers
68 views

How to observe shiluach haken on Twitter

Shiluach Haken is the commandment of sending away a mother bird before taking her eggs/chicks. Now, being that Twitter is like a bird (see their logo), how can/should shiluach haken be achieved while ...
1
vote
1answer
61 views

How do we know that the Megillah reader in shul must accommodate a cheresh?

The Shulchan Aruch says that a "cherish" is exempt from the mitzvah of hearing the Megillah. My deaf son was surprised to read this statement, and he feels sorely left out of enjoying a beautiful ...
1
vote
1answer
30 views

Why do we bless only the 10th Rabbi in the community after reading the Megillah?

The bracha after finishing the Megillah starts: Harav Esri Veinu - The tenth rabbi among us Why bless just the 10th rabbi. Aren't the other 9 as worthy? This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
1
vote
2answers
73 views

Domo Rigato - in what way?

A popular yiddishe song incorporates the following refrain: "Domo Rigato, Mister Roboto!" Now, the correct pronunciation of the second word is actually "arigato." This means the famous refrain ...
1
vote
1answer
88 views

My current reputation is 666. Am I over on Machashefah Lo tichayah?

I just noticed that my reputation is standing at 666. Does this number have the same demonic connotations in Judaism that it does in Christianity? And if so, am I potentially violating issurim ...
1
vote
1answer
145 views

Why do we sing Mi Shenichnas Adar to the tune of “Pick a bale of cotton”? [closed]

Of all tunes available in the world, why do we choose a "worker's" song? A song composed by slaves as they served their masters? Why not something more uplifting? This question is Purim Torah and ...
1
vote
0answers
48 views

Dr. Bronner's Soap in the bathroom

Let's hope this question will be a tikkun for thinking about Purim Torah in the bathroom. And, for that matter, for having Dr. Bronner's soap in the bathroom. It's great soap. But there may be Torah ...
1
vote
2answers
74 views

Does the oven have a nose and more than one eye?

In the Mishnah, Seder Teharot, Mesechet Calim, in 8:3, talking about an oven, it states: ואין לה גפים, It doesn't have גפים, which K'hati explains to mean היינו אזניים These are ears. And ...