THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

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7
votes
5answers
427 views

Who is meant by Auntie Malka in friday night Zemiros?

When eating recently by a chassidish family, I noticed they sang Friday night the words: אנת הוא מלכא - 'Auntie Malka' Can anyone shed some light on who this special Aunt was and what she is doing ...
7
votes
3answers
168 views

Trapping during the week [closed]

The medrosh criticizes Eisov for trapping his father with questions such as "must one tithe salt," yet doesn't specify that it was shobbos, so there should be no melucha of "tzud"! Is this proof that ...
7
votes
3answers
182 views

Is Daylight Saving Time a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? [closed]

This week many in the U.S. will change their clocks for Daylight Saving Time. Is this a Mitzvah DeOraitha or Takkanah DeRabanan? I can't seem to find any source for this except a poorly worded and ...
7
votes
2answers
2k views

I poured Starbucks Milk Chocolate Latte into my chicken soup. Shouldn't it still be kosher, even if it wasn't so much soup?

This week I was cooking my favorite meat soup when accidentally my Starbucks Milk Chocolate Latte tipped into the pot. At first it was just a little drip, but I lost the handle on the cup and ...
7
votes
2answers
270 views

Which shots are we reviewing at least twice daily in shul?

At least twice every day, each shul has someone who says chazarat hashat"z - he is reviewing the shots. Which shots need to be reviewed? G-d forbid - did someone shoot people in the shul? Is a doctor ...
7
votes
3answers
73 views

What is the hetter to wear earmuffs?

Looking at all forms of traditionally Jewish hats, from hamburgs to streimuls to fedoras to beibers, and even the kangol cap, it is quite obvious our fathers and our fathers fathers did not want to ...
6
votes
5answers
220 views

What's an “achashvei”? [closed]

From my preschooler: What's an Achashvei? I know that a rosh is a head. I want to know what kind of head Achashveirosh was. Can you help me come up with a satisfying answer? I'd prefer not ...
6
votes
6answers
136 views

7 girls fighting over 1 boy at the Sheva Brachot?

The last of the Sheva Brachot lists 7 girls: Gila, Rina, Ditza, Chedva, Ahava, Achva, and Re'ut. Shalom is the only boy that was invited. Why couldn't they invite other boys. Don't any of these other ...
6
votes
4answers
110 views

Who is the fourth father?

We all know, from when we were little children, that the Jewish people had four mothers and four fathers. The mothers will, of course, be Sarah, Rebeccah, Rachel, and Leah. However, in the fathers ...
6
votes
3answers
209 views

The media in Shushan [closed]

Esther 10:2 says: הֲלוֹא-הֵם כְּתוּבִים, עַל-סֵפֶר דִּבְרֵי הַיָּמִים, לְמַלְכֵי מָדַי Behold, they are written in the book of chronicles of the kings of the media. Who were the kings ...
6
votes
2answers
679 views

What does Mr Bean have to do with Adar?

We all know the famous Gemara: משנכנס אדר מר בין בשמחה Or to summarize it in a picture (if this is allowed on Mi Yodea): What connection has Mr Bean with Adar and Simcha? This question is Purim ...
6
votes
3answers
276 views

Why does it matter that Mordechai was right-handed? [closed]

In Esther 2:5, it says אִישׁ יְהוּדִי, הָיָה בְּשׁוּשַׁן הַבִּירָה; וּשְׁמוֹ מָרְדֳּכַי, בֶּן יָאִיר בֶּן-שִׁמְעִי בֶּן-קִישׁ--אִישׁ יְמִינִי There was a certain Jew in Shushan the castle, ...
6
votes
4answers
65 views

Matzah and Maror: With Garlic?

During the Seder, near the end of the maggid, we learn about the manner in which the Korban Pesach, the matzah, and the maror were consumed. In reference to the latter two, the haggadah reads: ...
6
votes
2answers
206 views

Contradiction about the use of manure [closed]

Manuela Zoninsein writes for the Green Zionist Alliance about the value of tikkun olam — the Jewish commitment to repairing the world.… Today, part of repairing the world means ...
6
votes
1answer
251 views

May a Jew be a professional beat boxer? [closed]

(Not to be confused with this question.) Are there any halachic problems with a Jew being a professional beat boxer? (For those unfamiliar, click the speaker icon here for audio.) This question is ...
6
votes
1answer
123 views

Graciously accepting gifts [closed]

I delivered Shalach Manos today to a number of people. Much to my dismay, everyone accepted them graciously and gratefully, and not a single person expressed how disappointed they were with my gifts. ...
6
votes
2answers
83 views

Does Kabalah require us to follow the Atkins Diet?

During sholas sedudos we say אתקינו סעודתא, a remez to the Atkins Diet. It includes descriptions like "זעיר אנפין" -- make your face smaller (thinner), and even instructions about "וַחֲקַל ...
6
votes
2answers
116 views

Shmuel on Bava Basra 90a [closed]

‫ והמשתכר אל ישתכר יותר משתות (בבא בתרא 90A)‬ "One who gets drunk may not get drunk past a sixth." I have seen four shittos to explain this ruling which is brought l'halacha in ...
6
votes
0answers
51 views

Why would someone offer an Asheira to Hashem?

There's a verse in Tehillim which says "Asheira LaHashem Ki Gamal Alai". Just because there's a camel on me I'm going to burn an Avoda Zara as a sacrifice? Moreover, when I think it was Gidon did ...
6
votes
0answers
155 views

Reading the Megillah on Friday

I accidentally read the Megillah tonight for my shul since last year, I could have sworn, that we read the Megillah right after the fast. Yet, the Rav of the Shul returned from a business trip after ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

From Whence do we derive that Jews must span the political spectrum? [closed]

Is there any source for Am Yisrael spanning the gamut of the political spectrum, seeing as we have produced political leaders Left, Right, and Centre. This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
5
votes
5answers
237 views

On the qualifications to be queen of Persia [closed]

In the first chapter of Ester, Achashverosh is advised that his queen, Vashti, be removed from her position ‏…וּמַלְכוּתָהּ יִתֵּן הַמֶּלֶךְ לִרְעוּתָהּ הַטּוֹבָה מִמֶּנָּה. וְנִשְׁמַע ...
5
votes
4answers
257 views

Giving turkey to G-d [closed]

In much of our liturgy, we say: הודו לה' כי-טוב כי לעולם חסדו Turkey for G-d because it is good, because [His/its] loving-kindness is everlasting. Also: טוב להודות לה It is good to ...
5
votes
3answers
279 views

May a Jewish professional boxer box a Jewish professional beat boxer? [closed]

(Not to be confused with this question.) Are there any halachic problems with a Jewish boxer boxing a Jewish beat boxer? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely ...
5
votes
3answers
230 views

Tahanun on Superbowl Sunday in competing market? [closed]

Is one supposed to recite תחנון on Superbowl Sunday if he is in the market of a team that is competing? What if it's a multi-team market, like the Jets and the Giants or the Redskins and the Ravens, ...
5
votes
3answers
88 views

Do we know if this is really Queen Esther's Village?

While I was driving today (at this location), I was surprised to happen upon: Is there any evidence in the megillah or any other part of our mesorah that this is indeed the village that Queen ...
5
votes
3answers
72 views

Negative Attitude Towards Enlightenment

Why do Jewish sources often refer to the Enlightenment movement negatively, if membership in the movement is a Biblical obligation as in Psalms (41:2) אַשְׁרֵי מַשְׂכִּיל "Praiseworthy is the Maskil"? ...
5
votes
3answers
275 views

Is Cholent DeOraitha or DeRabbanan? [closed]

As definitively proven by an 'Am HaAretz Gamur MiDeOraitha (a title of high distinction if ever there was one), eating Cholent on Shabbath is required. Every week. Without exception. But is this ...
5
votes
2answers
93 views

Why do the Chassidim require explicit mention?

In the amidah, the prayer for our welfare includes specific mention of Chassidim, but not of Litvaks, Sefardim, etc.: עַל הַצַּדִּיקִים וְעַל הַחֲסִידִים. וְעַל זִקְנֵי עַמְּךָ בֵּית יִשרָאֵל. ...
5
votes
3answers
137 views

What are the two prohibitions, and why thank God after being bound by them? [closed]

It's well known that there are four main categories of persons who offer a korban toda (or say hagomel) to thank God, one of which is מי שהיה חבוש בב׳ האיסורים, someone who was bound by the two ...
5
votes
3answers
387 views

Why was David not afraid of the myriads he bought a round for? [closed]

Psalm 3 is a hopeful psalm. David starts by noting that great and powerful people have persecuted him, including his own son, Absalom. Then he expresses his hopeful trust that God will deliver him ...
5
votes
2answers
151 views

How do I make my Adars the same? [closed]

The mishnah (Megillah 1:4) tells us: אֵין בֵּין אַדָּר הָרִאשׁוֹן לַאֲדָר הַשֵּׁנִי אֶלָּא קְרִיאַת הַמְּגִלָּה וּמַתָּנוֹת לָאֶבְיוֹנִים There is no difference between the Adar I and Adar II ...
5
votes
2answers
142 views

Why does the verse in Mishpatim say Vashti ruled over fewer countries than mentioned in Ester? [closed]

As we come to the close of Shabbas Mishpatim, I will ask a question that I am sure has troubled many. The verse (23:31) tells us: ושתי את גבולך מים סוף ועד ים פלשתים וממדבר עד הנהר Vashti: ...
5
votes
1answer
62 views

Is there a problem of Kol Isha when Rina is singing in the tents of the righteous?

Psalms 118:15: ק֤וֹל ׀ רִנָּ֬ה וִֽישׁוּעָ֗ה בְּאָהֳלֵ֥י צַדִּיקִ֑ים The voices of Rina and Yeshu'ah are in the tents of the righteous I can't see a problem with Yeshu'ah ( I know some boys named ...
5
votes
3answers
115 views

Should we eat Persian food, Indian food or Ethiopian food for Purim Se'udah?

The beginning of the Megillah mentions that Ahashverush ruled from Hodu - India until Kush - Ethiopia. But, the palace was in Persia. So to best honor Purim what type of cuisine would be most ...
5
votes
1answer
52 views

“Peyshar Davar” - mi yodeya?

Who knows what the meaning of "a thing" is? פשר דבר - מי יודע?‏ Kohelet 8:1 expresses uncertainty about the meaning of "a thing": ... וּמִ֥י יוֹדֵ֖עַ פֵּ֣שֶׁר דָּבָ֑ר ... ... and who ...
5
votes
1answer
53 views

Doesn't the Yetzer Hora have a huge advantage over the Yetzer Tov?

Seeing as the Yetzer Tov loves Mitzvos, we can safely assume that he only uses a Kosher phone to aid him in the fight against the Yetzer Hora. But the Yetzer Hora himself has the latest smartphone ...
5
votes
1answer
59 views

Why couldn't the idols smell their hands or touch their feet?

In Hallel, Tehillim 115:7-8 it says: אף להם ולא יריחון ידיהם ולא ימישון רגליהם David is discussing the nations that built idols. These people believed that these idols were like human / gods. So, I ...
5
votes
1answer
77 views

Human sacrifice

In "Retzei", human sacrifice is clearly mentioned: רְצֵה ה' אֱלהֵינוּ בְּעַמְּךָ יִשרָאֵל וּבִתְפִלָּתָם וְהָשֵׁב אֶת הָעֲבודָה לִדְבִיר בֵּיתֶךָ. וְאִשֵּׁי יִשרָאֵל וּתְפִלָּתָם. בְּאַהֲבָה ...
5
votes
1answer
98 views

Can Frankenstein's Golem wear women's clothing on Purim?

We know that Rebbe Victor Frankenstein created a golem (the English called it a monster) during the 18th century. Since Frankenstein was Jewish, I've been wondering about the halakhot that apply to ...
4
votes
6answers
405 views

the danger of eating matza [closed]

We should not be allowed to eat מצה on פסח! After all, it's made with מים שלנו ("our water"; that is, water that's been sitting out for hours and hours), and חז״ל say there's a risk of poisoning, ר״ל, ...
4
votes
3answers
148 views

Why did Lavan say “Ashre”? [closed]

In parashas "Vayetze", 31:25, we have the following in Onkelos: וְאַדְבֵּיק לָבָן יָת יַעֲקֹב וְיַעֲקֹב פְּרַס יָת מַשְׁכְּנֵהּ בְּטוּרָא וְלָבָן אַשְׁרֵי יָת אֲחוֹהִי בְּטוּרָא דְּגִלְעָד.‏ ...
4
votes
4answers
220 views

ואם תאמר— but what if we didn't say anything? [closed]

When Tosafos or other Rishonim introduce a question with the phrase "and if it were said" (my translation) do they mean to imply that the question is b'dieved and everything would make more sense if ...
4
votes
4answers
39 views

Gzeira Shava by Purim II

We know that the Gemara (maseches smachos probably) darshens hilchos Yom Kippur from Purim כתיב הכא אך בעשור לחדש השביעי הזה יום הכפרים הוא וכתיב התם על כן קראו לימים האלה פורים מה להלן במשתה ...
4
votes
4answers
61 views

Which grandfathers was King David afraid of?

Tehillim 19:14 says: גם מזדים, חשוך עבדך-- אל-ימשלו-בי אז איתם Also from zeidis keep your servant away, let them not rule over me Who were these grandfathers who wanted to rule over King ...
4
votes
2answers
147 views

How much is keifel for Gneivas Daas? [closed]

When one steals knowledge (Gneivas Daas) and gets caught by witnesses, how does he pay back double? PS. Why is there no Gzeilas Daas? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
4
votes
2answers
63 views

What do we do to celebrate the happiest day of the year?

The Talmud in Taanis 29a says: משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה From when Av enters we reduce our happiness and משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה From when Adar enters we increase our happiness ...
4
votes
2answers
119 views

Why do we drink wine on Purim?

Why do people have a custom of drinking davka wine on Purim? After all, the story took place in שושן הבירה - Shushan of Beer (Ester 1:2)! Why do people drink wine instead of beer then? This ...
4
votes
1answer
129 views

Multiplying negatives = 2 Bediavads [closed]

If multiplying two negatives equals a positve then shouldn't two Bedieveds equal a Lechatehila? E.G. I heard from a HaRav Mansour Shelit"a that if one washes one's self with Tisha Kabin, then it ...
4
votes
1answer
43 views

How to make hamentaschen

I looked through Shulchan Aruch, but, although there are entire chapters (OC 453–462) describing how to make matza, there's a not a single mention of how to make hamentaschen. What is the ...