THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. Purim Torah is a term used to describe humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim.

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-5
votes
0answers
94 views

Passing data To google Charts From Code Behind [closed]

i am a newbie i was developing a project on ASP.net Which Requires Google Charts API to Produce Some Charts , all went fine when i am using static data in google charts , Problem is i want to pass ...
4
votes
2answers
52 views

What do we do to celebrate the happiest day of the year?

The Talmud in Taanis 29a says: משנכנס אב ממעטין בשמחה From when Av enters we reduce our happiness and משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה From when Adar enters we increase our happiness ...
-4
votes
1answer
69 views

Why did Shlomo Marry His Sister

In several places in Shir HaShirim Shlomo references his love affair with his sister (e.g. 4:9, 4:10, 4:12, 5:1, 5:2). Why did he pursue this relationship? Was this some application of "Assei Doche ...
0
votes
0answers
43 views

Possible Real Live קויצת הדרך?

I was perusing an sefer by הגאון הנביא רב פרנק הרברט זצוק״ל. In it he records an obscure prophesy from ספר דון which esoterically discusses משיח ובשמים in the מדבר. While the language is dense, I was ...
0
votes
2answers
87 views

Considering inflation since 1967, how much would that gorilla in the window cost, now?

In 1967, O.G., a little girl, bought Magilla Gorilla for two cents. The name for this cartoon character, according to Wikipedia: In Yiddish, a "megillah" is a long tedious or embroidered account, ...
3
votes
1answer
67 views

If a lamb gets lost in a flax field, does it become shatnez?

What do Sha'ul Hamelech (before he was king) and Little Bo Peep have in common? Their sheep got lost. If their, or someone's sheep got lost in a flax field, and rolled around or ate some of the flax, ...
4
votes
0answers
53 views

Source For Different Streams of Judaism

How loyal have Chassidim, Charedim, and Tzionim been to their source texts, Sefer Chassidim, Sefer Charedim, and Sefer Hatzioni, respectively? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be ...
20
votes
6answers
3k views

How should a werewolf celebrate Pesach?

Werewolves are known for their transformation at the full moon. Unfortunately, for Jewish werewolves, this poses problems with holidays such as Pesach, Sukkot, (Shushan Purim, Pesach Sheini, Tu ...
5
votes
1answer
94 views

Can Frankenstein's Golem wear women's clothing on Purim?

We know that Rebbe Victor Frankenstein created a golem (the English called it a monster) during the 18th century. Since Frankenstein was Jewish, I've been wondering about the halakhot that apply to ...
17
votes
10answers
8k views

What is the Torah preferred brand of cell phone?

I have heard of Kosher phones. What do the classic sources (preferably Rishonim or earlier) say about the preferred type and brand of cell phone? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended ...
-2
votes
0answers
98 views

Judaism's View on Dentists [closed]

What is Judaisms view on dentists? Is it a profession that is encouraged or discouraged? Is it even permitted? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. ...
13
votes
4answers
3k views

Is the Torah in the public domain? (If not, what license is it?)

The public domain is, put simply, a collection of works that can be used by anyone, that are not copyrighted. Is the Torah in the public domain? If not, how can we be printing and copyrighting it? ...
8
votes
3answers
168 views

What is the text of kiddush for Purim night?

My Otzar Hatiflus siddur only has the Kiddush for Purim day. What is the text of Kiddush for Purim night, and how does one incorporate havdala when Purim begins on Motzai Shabbat? This question is ...
13
votes
3answers
1k views

Is a diamond (♦) part of a moderator's name?

Assuming that moderators are on-topic; how are they called up for an aliyah? Is the diamond mentioned? It's been discussed before elsewhere on the network, though with an appalling lack of Jewish ...
10
votes
3answers
133 views

Contract law and Dragons

There was a certain schul that I hate and I rented a dragon to devour the rabbi and the congregants. When the dragon returned from its reign of terror, I find out that it didn't eat all the people, ...
1
vote
2answers
72 views

Domo Rigato - in what way?

A popular yiddishe song incorporates the following refrain: "Domo Rigato, Mister Roboto!" Now, the correct pronunciation of the second word is actually "arigato." This means the famous refrain ...
11
votes
2answers
94 views

Lo Yecheratz Kelev Lishono - What about other animals?

Rashi points out that because the dogs did not bark when the Jews left Egypt, they were rewarded with the basar neveilah. Since they were uniquely rewarded, this implies that all the other animals ...
5
votes
3answers
112 views

Should we eat Persian food, Indian food or Ethiopian food for Purim Se'udah?

The beginning of the Megillah mentions that Ahashverush ruled from Hodu - India until Kush - Ethiopia. But, the palace was in Persia. So to best honor Purim what type of cuisine would be most ...
1
vote
1answer
59 views

How do we know that the Megillah reader in shul must accommodate a cheresh?

The Shulchan Aruch says that a "cherish" is exempt from the mitzvah of hearing the Megillah. My deaf son was surprised to read this statement, and he feels sorely left out of enjoying a beautiful ...
0
votes
1answer
80 views

How is Hashem similar to Mi Yodeya

We have a famous song called Echad Mi Yodeya and a famous prayer "Hashem Echad". From here we have a Hekesh of Hashem to Mi Yodeya. What do we learn from this Hekesh? This question is Purim Torah ...
3
votes
5answers
108 views

Are there any situations historically, where people are named after names of Tefillot?

I know some people who were named after various tefillot: Asher Yatzar Annie Zemiros Roz Sodecha Billy Reishis Billy Tachlis Moe Dim Al Coulomb (He's an electrician) Does the Talmud or any other ...
2
votes
4answers
94 views

Are there any Judaic on-line stores that sell Yiddishe cups?

I've checked Eichler's and even looked on EBay but I haven't found a real Yiddishe drinking cup, preferably one strong enough for piping hot coffee. Does anyone know any on-line site that sells them? ...
16
votes
2answers
226 views

Why did I become queen?

I'm Ester from the Purim story. My uncle Mordechai advised me to ask here on Mi Yodeya why Hashem made me queen of Persia, as it says: וּמִי יוֹדֵעַ אִם לְעֵת כָּזֹאת הִגַּעַתְּ לַמַּלְכוּת So, ...
3
votes
2answers
103 views

Why Didnt Jacob Shave His Beard

The verse states (Gen 48:10) ועיני ישראל כבדו מזקן לא יוכל לראות "And Israel's eyes were weakened (i.e. obstructed) by his beard, so he couldn't see". If his beard was obstructing his vision, why ...
0
votes
1answer
122 views

Can You Attend a Purim Party Dressed as a Pig?

Another thread inspired this question. Can one attend a Purim party or parade in a pig costume? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim ...
9
votes
4answers
147 views

Why didn't Esther listen to Mordechai's instructions?

Mordechai instructed Esther the Queen, וּמִי יוֹדֵעַ אִם לְעֵת כָּזֹאת הִגַּעַתְּ לַמַּלְכוּת Translation: Ask on Mi Yodeya if this is the reason you came to be a Queen. (It seems that ...
0
votes
1answer
40 views

What do water-carriers have to do with Parshat Emor?

Many cities in Eastern Europe used to have a Kiddush for Parshat Emor sponsored by the water-carrier's guild. (This much is true, and the real reason makes for an OK entry in the Pun-im Chalashos) ...
0
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0answers
42 views

How could Mordechai become famous?

Lets (לץ) remember that the remez to Esther in the Torah is :ואנכי הסתר אסתיר. חולין קלז Lets (לץ) also remember that the name Kish in Mordechai's lineage was used as a drasha in Maseches Megila ...
-2
votes
3answers
181 views

Should I really go to Gehinnom if my wife tells me to? [closed]

Here's the scenario: This year, my wife expected me to give her a huge diamond ring for her birthday. She didn't want any other gift. I went to the jeweler, and request a 5 Karat Princess cut for my ...
2
votes
0answers
42 views

Halachically, is making a tefillin shel yad with a retractable strap permissible?

I'm tired of winding the straps of my tefillin shel yad! I can't get it balanced correctly; it keeps unraveling; it gets caught in the zipper of the bag... So, I'm thinking of inventing a retractable ...
12
votes
9answers
822 views

Who made the cholent?

Every week my wife and I have this problem. My wife cuts the potatoes and onions, adds the barley, beans and meat. But I spice the cholent! I always claim I'm the one who made it because we pasken ...
2
votes
4answers
92 views

Is one allowed to fly a “Yiddish” Kite on Shabbat?

A "Yiddish" kite is a special kite that is shaped like a huge piece of kishke and has the words, "Ah Gitten Shabbess" (In Yiddish) on it. Assuming that there is an Eruv, would one be allowed to fly ...
2
votes
5answers
1k views

Why do we drink malt whisky?

It's a Jewish tradition to serve malt whisky at simchas and to drink this also on Purim (in addition to wine at the seuda). From where does this custom derive? This question is Purim Torah and is ...
16
votes
7answers
4k views

PTIJ: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

The classic philosophical question: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? So, according to Purim Torah Judaism, does it? Sources please. ;) This ...
0
votes
3answers
49 views

Mitzvah of eating sheep for Parshat Yitro

Many communities have a custom to consume sheep for the Shabbat of Parshat Yitro. Why is this done? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim ...
6
votes
2answers
672 views

What does Mr Bean have to do with Adar?

We all know the famous Gemara: משנכנס אדר מר בין בשמחה Or to summarize it in a picture (if this is allowed on Mi Yodea): What connection has Mr Bean with Adar and Simcha? This question is Purim ...
19
votes
8answers
6k views

What does Judaism think of math?

Is it permissible according to halacha to do math? If so, are all kinds of math OK? This question and its answers are Purim Torah and are not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the ...
2
votes
1answer
70 views

Rashis opinion in the Megilla? [closed]

At Har Sinai the Jews became converts, for we learn Hilchos Geirus from Kabalas Hatorah as the Gemara in Krisos 9a says that all the male Jews who exited Egypt circumcised themselves at Mount Sinai as ...
8
votes
3answers
106 views

“until Elijah comes”?

So I found a hand-made yarmulke the other day in my local synagogue. I tried to ascertain whose it was, but no one claimed it, and the rabbi told me יהא מונח עד שיבוא אליהו, I should hang on to it ...
10
votes
4answers
267 views

Why don't Jews accept Our Lord and Savior?

Why don't Jews believe the Messiah has come? It's clear from all the Scriptures that He has come! We should all believe in Him! As it is written (Isaiah 53) But he was wounded for our ...
8
votes
6answers
79 views

What did “נ ג ה פ” stand for before the miracle?

As is well known, the reason we play dreidel on Hanukkah is this: Before the miracle of Hanukkah, when the gentiles who controlled the land severely restricted Torah study, Jewish children would ...
6
votes
0answers
49 views

Why would someone offer an Asheira to Hashem?

There's a verse in Tehillim which says "Asheira LaHashem Ki Gamal Alai". Just because there's a camel on me I'm going to burn an Avoda Zara as a sacrifice? Moreover, when I think it was Gidon did ...
3
votes
1answer
65 views

What is Leibush Up To

The verse in Proverbs (19:21) states regarding Leibush: רבות מחשבות בלביש ועצת ה' היא תקום "Many thoughts are in Leibush, but God's plan will prevail". Who is Leibush and what is he planning? ...
8
votes
6answers
117 views

Why did Rabba have to get up to kill Rabi Zeira?

The gemara in Megila 7b says קם רבה שחטיה לרבי זירא Rabbah got up and killed Rabi Zeira. Why did he need to get up? Rabi Zeira was a short man, as we see in the bottom of Bava Metzia 85a קטין חריך ...
4
votes
4answers
38 views

Gzeira Shava by Purim II

We know that the Gemara (maseches smachos probably) darshens hilchos Yom Kippur from Purim כתיב הכא אך בעשור לחדש השביעי הזה יום הכפרים הוא וכתיב התם על כן קראו לימים האלה פורים מה להלן במשתה ...
3
votes
3answers
124 views

How does one who can hold his liquor afflict himself on Purim?

According to the answers to this question, one is obligated to afflict himself on Purim. The achroynim say that one fulfills this obligation by getting drunk. However, the true affliction only occurs ...
3
votes
4answers
63 views

Gzeira Shava By Purim

We know that the Gemara darshens the laws of Purim from Yom Kippur. If so why are we not obligated to fast on Purim? יליף פורים פורים מיום הכפורים This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
0
votes
2answers
49 views

Hilchot Chol HaMuad

In some Mediterranean communities, there is a custom of having weeks called Chol HaMuad. What are the halachot for these times? This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
2
votes
4answers
54 views

Can a person increase in joy before Adar?

It is written: משנכנס אדר מרבין בשמחה (When Adar comes we increase in joy) If a person started to get happy on Tu b'Shevat instead, is this permissible b'dieved (after the fact)? What if ...
4
votes
4answers
61 views

Which grandfathers was King David afraid of?

Tehillim 19:14 says: גם מזדים, חשוך עבדך-- אל-ימשלו-בי אז איתם Also from zeidis keep your servant away, let them not rule over me Who were these grandfathers who wanted to rule over King ...