A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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Can a Chazzan say the Mourner's Kaddish despite not being a mourner?

If someone needs to say Kaddish for a parent but is intimidated to be the only one in shul saying it, is it permissible for the Chazzan to say the Mourner's Kaddish and the Rabbi's Kaddish at the same ...
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95 views

Is the mourning for a late relative dependent on the state of their relationship before death?

Are the halochos (laws) about observing mourning rituals for a relative (e.g., shiva, shloshim, etc.), affected in any way by the state of the relationship between the mourner and deceased before his ...
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88 views

Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house

What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house? Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
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227 views

Tearing keriyah for ladies mourning in public

Is it considered to be "un-tznius" (immodest) for ladies to tear keriyah (rip their clothes in mourning) in public?
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390 views

Is Kel Malei Rachamim (memorial prayer) said under the chuppah at a wedding?

I'd seen a book on wedding practices and customs that said if desired in appropriate cases, a memorial prayer ("El/Kel Malei Rachamim") could be said under the chuppah, e.g. a bride/groom who lost a ...
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192 views

9 be-Av on Shabbos

When 9 be-Av falls on Shabbos, it is moved to the following Sunday. Are there any restrictions on Shabbos because of 9 be-Av (maybe tashmish is forbidden)?
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219 views

What is the halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during Sefira?

What is the earliest halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during sefira? Note that this does not mean the story of R' Akiva, I'm talking about halachic references to prohibitions such as not ...
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289 views

Sitting on a toilet during Tisha B'Av

May one sit on a toilet during Tisha B'Av, when sitting on chairs is generally forbidden? Are there any requirements that he hurry up as much as possible?
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Why were Yisrael allowed to mourn for the death of the two sons of Aharon, but not Aharon and his two remaining sons?

After the two sons of Aharon were killed by Hashem, it says in Vayikra 10:6 “ And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and to Ithamar, his sons: Do not leave your heads unshorn and do not rend your ...
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160 views

What is the source for lighting a candle for the whole year after the death of a close relative?

I am familiar with the idea of a yahrzeit candle. I have observed a custom of keeping a flame alight for the whole year (or maybe 11 months) after the death of a close relative. (When one goes out, ...
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80 views

Can an Onen receive an Aliyah?

By onen I mean someone who as lost their sibling, and they haven't been buried yet. Can an onen be called to the Torah as an Oleh? Can an onen read from the Torah?
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242 views

Kibus (Laundry) During the Nine Days

The reason brought by Rashi and quoted by poskim such as the Mishna Berurah as to why we do not do laundry during the nine days (or Sefardim, in the week that the Ninth of Av falls out in) is because ...
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113 views

Custom for a mourner to be chosen to read the haftora every week

The Chabad rabbi near me has the custom of taking (for himself) both the kaddish recitation after the Torah reading (when applicable) and the reading of the haftorah on Shabbat — specifically ...
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122 views

Should an adoptee mourn his Jewish biological parents?

I was adopted at birth from a Jewish biological mother into a Jewish adoptive family. Should I observe mourning for my birth mother when she dies, and otherwise honor her as a parent? Thank you.
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167 views

Reasoning for doing/not doing mourning customs in second half of the omer

In my observation, most people observe certain mourning customs between the beginning of sefirat ha'omer and lag b'omer (such as refraining from shaving, listening to live music, etc.). Some people ...
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46 views

Is Selichos recited in the house of a mourner during shiva on Asara B'Tevet?

Is Selichot said in the house of an avel during shiva on the 10th of Tevet? Does the mourner lead the Selichos?
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28 views

Does the congregation recite certain sections of the prayers if a mourner is in the synagogue?

This morning, a mourner (in Shiva period) appeared in my shul. Art Scroll Ashkenaz siddur, among others, most likely, indicate that in a house of mourning, Tachanun is omitted and in Uva Letziyon, ...
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111 views

What constitutes a “Hesped” (eulogy)?

There are certain dates throughout the year when one may not give a "Hesped" (eulogy) because of a certain level of happiness associated with those dates. However, I've attended funerals conducted on ...
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Why read about Rashb"i's death at a memorial ceremony?

Why do many people read the passage (known as אדרא זוטא) from Zohar about the death of Rabbi Shim'on ben Yochai at memorial ceremonies? A description of it can be found here.
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130 views

What if there's a Minyan of Aveilim?

It is my understanding that when one is in the year of mourning following the death of certain relatives, he is not allowed to lead ["daven from the amud"] certain prayers (such as those on Shabbos, ...
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837 views

Shave/Haircuts during the 3 weeks

What are the reasons why a person may be able shave and/or haircut (two biiiits!- sorry, just had to) during the three weeks? Please use sources.
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147 views

Wiping hands on Tisha b'Av

Since many authorities permit wiping the hands if one does not have water to wash with (when washing for bread), is one forbidden to wipe their hands on Tisha b'Av?
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86 views

Can a mourner/avel learn Torah on Shabbat?

If I'm not mistaken a mourner in the 1st 7 days, during the Shiva cannot study Torah (except for mourning-related Torah study) as it brings joy to a person. Firstly is this Halacha or a Minhag? ...
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159 views

Aveilus for an adoptive parent

Are there any dinim of aveilus for a child that was adopted when his adoptive parents pass away? Are there any poskim that spoke about this?
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Wishes to a mourner in addition to “Hamokom Yenachem Eschem”

I have heard some people say in Yiddish after "Hamokom Yenachem Eschem B'Soch Shaar Aveilei Tzion V'Yerushalayim" ("May God comfort you alongside the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem"), "Zulst Mer Nisht ...
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106 views

Aveilus and Davening from the Omud on Rosh Hashana / Yom Kippur?

Can a Ba'al tefillah in his year of aveilus daven from the Omud on Rosh Hashana / Yom Kippur?
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106 views

Saying goodbye on Tisha B'Av

On Tisha B'Av, the custom is to refrain from greeting people. Even a brief "hello" is to be avoided if possible. Does the same restriction apply to saying "good-bye"? Or is that not considered a ...
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113 views

The power of a seudat mitzvah to obviate minhagei aveilus

The prohibitions which Ashkenazim take on themselves during the nine days seem to spring from post-Talmudic thinking and application of the notion of "reduced joy." For some reason, the particulars ...
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56 views

Source for “Hamakom” said at shiva and variations

What is the source for the text of hamakom? In Israel I noticed that they add some words that I never heard in the States (something like"vlo yosifo lidavek?od") , what is the source for them and why ...
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136 views

Using laundered underwear, bed sheets and towels during the nine days

If underwear, bed sheets, or towels were laundered during the 9 days, is it permissible to benefit from (wear or use) them during the 9 days?
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131 views

Keria at the Wailing Wall

I believe the Halacha is that you're supposed to tear your clothes when seeing the Wailing Wall, just as one does when 'sitting Shiva'. Why don't most people?
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107 views

Can one switch chazzanim at non-traditional places in the service to accommodate a mourner who came late?

Can one switch chazzanim at non-traditional places in the service to accomodate a mourner who came late? For example, Reuven is asked to lead the prayers (say mincha). He says “Ashrei”, “Kaddish” and ...
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189 views

Splitting Sefira Mourning Practices According to Rav Moshe Feinstein

People hold of the restrictions of the seven-week omer period (shaving and listening to music, for example) at various times: some hold approximately the first five weeks; others, approximately the ...
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“Hamakom” after shiv'a

In my experience, for the most part, "‏המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים" is said to a mourner specifically during shiv'a. However, I've heard some people say it after shiv'a, particularly ...
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68 views

When and why would one don sackcloth?

There are various instances in tanach of someone donning sackcloth. I would like to know whether any commentators have compiled an outline as to when and why someone would don sackcloth (is it only ...
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Should I rend k'riyah if I witness the death of a non-relative? If so, what's the procedure?

In another question, Chalutznahal cites Yoreh De'ah 40:5, which says that when I witness a fellow Jew die, I must rend my shirt out of sadness. And British Rabbi Dr. Moshe Freedman brings this down as ...
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52 views

Best practices for long-distance Nihum Aveilim and Kavod HaMeith

What are some best practices for people who learn from afar of the passing of an individual (not immediate family) and who want show their respects to the deceased and the surviving family? If they ...
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350 views

Kaddish for non-blood relatives

Does one say kaddish for a non-blood relative such as (chas v'shalom) a daughter-in-law? I know that a husband says kaddish when the parent of his wife passes away, but my understanding is that this ...
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43 views

Brit milah during shloshim

I understand that someone observing shloshim should not attend a seudat mitzvah. I was wondering what happens if someone observing shloshim has a baby boy who is due for a bris. Does the parent ...
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127 views

Can you go to a shul dinner if you are in aveilus?

Can you go to a shul dinner or other formal function that is for social convention and not actually enjoyable if you are in aveilus?
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1answer
231 views

Halachos of an Aveil with Mishloach Manos

The Rama in Orach Chaim 696:6 says we do not send Misloach Manos to an Aveil (mourner). The way people send is to send it to the family, rather than directly to the Aveil. If you do not know anyone ...
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138 views

Does Yom Tov end the “Shloshim” period?

I know that if people are sitting shiva, and a Yom Tov occurs in the middle of the shiva period, shiva immediately ends. Does this same "quick end" rule apply to the shloshim (30 day mourning period) ...
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2answers
82 views

Rebbe wearing new garments during shloshim

I recently heard from a couple of Bnei Brak Wizniter chassidim that their rebbes (R' Yisroel and R' Mendel) wore new clothing for Pesach 5772, less than a month after their father passed away. How ...
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84 views

Wait to be told one's unkempt after 9 Av?

I have heard (from people for whom it's been relevant) that someone who may not shave or cut his hair because he is in mourning for a relative, and whose period of mourning ends, nonetheless waits to ...
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81 views

What is the purpose of the laws of mourning?

There are generally accepted laws and customs regarding a mourner, whether mourning for a relative or for the tragedy of the destruction of the bais hamikdash. Examples include restriction from ...
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43 views

If visiting the kosel before a joyous event, does one tear kriyah?

If visiting the kosel the morning of, say, one's wedding, should one tear kriyah? I am asking whether we should be in mourning for the temple even at a very joyous time. (My guess is yes, partly based ...
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1answer
210 views

Is it permissible to shave for business purposes after Shiva but during shloshim?

Is one allowed to shave after shiva (7 days of mourning for deceased) if one is concerned about seeing clients at work? Most authorities say that one should wait 30 days before shaving.
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229 views

Mourning Greetings

The Shulchan Aruch in Yoreh Deah Siman 385 outlines the prohibition regarding "Sheilat Shalom" (greeting with peace) to a mourner. Does this prohibition include such terms as "Hello" "Good morning" ...
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1answer
61 views

Should one refrain from fun activities during sefirah?

During sefirah there is a custom to mourn the dying of R Akiva's disciples. Is the mourning restricted to the well known restrictions of not shaving and listening to music - or should one refrain ...
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2answers
45 views

Aveil participating in a Simcha

May an Aveil attend a wedding of a sibling or neighbor? May he eat there? How about a Sheva Brachos? Bar Mitzva? Bris? Is there a difference in the Sheloshim and the remainder of the year?