A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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Why were Yisrael allowed to mourn for the death of the two sons of Aharon, but not Aharon and his two remaining sons?

After the two sons of Aharon were killed by Hashem, it says in Vayikra 10:6 “ And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and to Ithamar, his sons: Do not leave your heads unshorn and do not rend your ...
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1answer
113 views

Ripping garments when hearing Hashem's name?

I've heard in a kabbalah shiur on web yeshiva, if someone says Hashem's name as it's written, either b'shogeg or b'meizid, the person or people that heard must rip their garments as they do when a ...
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1answer
165 views

Saying “HaMakom yenachem…” multiple times

Does one say "HaMakom yenachem..." each time one visits/leaves a shiva house or only once during the shiva period? I recall someone telling me one only says it once, but I cannot find any source for ...
3
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0answers
68 views

When and why would one don sackcloth?

There are various instances in tanach of someone donning sackcloth. I would like to know whether any commentators have compiled an outline as to when and why someone would don sackcloth (is it only ...
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2answers
114 views

Where can I find the Rav's hesped for R Chaim Ozer Grodzinsky?

I am looking for the text (in Hebrew) of R' JB Soloveitchik's hesped for R' Chaim Ozer Grozhinsky, unofficially titled "HaTzitz vehaChoshen" which was written before RJBS broke away from Agudah.
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112 views

What constitutes a “Hesped” (eulogy)?

There are certain dates throughout the year when one may not give a "Hesped" (eulogy) because of a certain level of happiness associated with those dates. However, I've attended funerals conducted on ...
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3answers
1k views

When exactly should an avel (mourner) not be davening before the amud?

An avel (mourner) if possible should also daven before the amud (be the chazan) on weekdays. But certain times of the year especially when tachanun is not said (but not every time) he should not be ...
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102 views

Does מין mean Christian, and if so what are the implications?

From what I have read there seems to be ample evidence that the term מין, as used in several places in the talmud, refers to Christians. I would like to know if there are any authorities who cite this ...
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3answers
181 views

Why do we not say selichot on Tisha B'Av?

Every fast day on the Jewish calendar has its set of selichot that are said. The one exception to this is Tisha B'Av. This seems counter-intuitive to me because Tisha B'Av is the day when we mourn the ...
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1answer
84 views

Wait to be told one's unkempt after 9 Av?

I have heard (from people for whom it's been relevant) that someone who may not shave or cut his hair because he is in mourning for a relative, and whose period of mourning ends, nonetheless waits to ...
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1answer
106 views

Saying goodbye on Tisha B'Av

On Tisha B'Av, the custom is to refrain from greeting people. Even a brief "hello" is to be avoided if possible. Does the same restriction apply to saying "good-bye"? Or is that not considered a ...
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1answer
290 views

Sitting on a toilet during Tisha B'Av

May one sit on a toilet during Tisha B'Av, when sitting on chairs is generally forbidden? Are there any requirements that he hurry up as much as possible?
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105 views

“I was waiting for my flight and a concert broke out.”

We've all heard that joke, right? In all seriousness, though, a friend posted this video of an impromptu concert at Toronto Pearson International Airport yesterday as all flights were either delayed ...
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1answer
691 views

Movies and music during the 3 weeks according to Rav Soloveitchik

The Rav compares the 3 weeks to the twelve months of mourning, and following that comparison he permits shaving during the 3 weeks (but not the 9 days) but forbids large social gatherings. What does ...
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45 views

Is it always a good idea to say an extra Shema' if you missed one?

According to Double AA's answer on a related question, "it can't hurt" to say an extra Shema' later if you missed the Zeman (set time) for it. While it may be true to a certain extent that saying ...
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1answer
73 views

Talmid that is an Avel going to a wedding of his Rebbe

I had heard once that there is a Teshuvas Ranach that says it's muter for a student that is an avel (in the year of mourning) to go to a wedding that his Rebbe is making for one his children. I ...
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1answer
164 views

Does one mourn during the days following Shavuot?

We say the four verses starting "Yehi Shem" (instead of Tachanun) after Shavuot because of the bringing of the Korbanot. Does this have any impact on mourning after Shavuot?
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2answers
169 views

Reasoning for doing/not doing mourning customs in second half of the omer

In my observation, most people observe certain mourning customs between the beginning of sefirat ha'omer and lag b'omer (such as refraining from shaving, listening to live music, etc.). Some people ...
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0answers
88 views

Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house

What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house? Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
3
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1answer
159 views

Aveilus for an adoptive parent

Are there any dinim of aveilus for a child that was adopted when his adoptive parents pass away? Are there any poskim that spoke about this?
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1answer
127 views

Can you go to a shul dinner if you are in aveilus?

Can you go to a shul dinner or other formal function that is for social convention and not actually enjoyable if you are in aveilus?
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120 views

Should I rend k'riyah if I witness the death of a non-relative? If so, what's the procedure?

In another question, Chalutznahal cites Yoreh De'ah 40:5, which says that when I witness a fellow Jew die, I must rend my shirt out of sadness. And British Rabbi Dr. Moshe Freedman brings this down as ...
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0answers
52 views

Best practices for long-distance Nihum Aveilim and Kavod HaMeith

What are some best practices for people who learn from afar of the passing of an individual (not immediate family) and who want show their respects to the deceased and the surviving family? If they ...
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2answers
161 views

What is the source for lighting a candle for the whole year after the death of a close relative?

I am familiar with the idea of a yahrzeit candle. I have observed a custom of keeping a flame alight for the whole year (or maybe 11 months) after the death of a close relative. (When one goes out, ...
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1answer
107 views

Can one switch chazzanim at non-traditional places in the service to accommodate a mourner who came late?

Can one switch chazzanim at non-traditional places in the service to accomodate a mourner who came late? For example, Reuven is asked to lead the prayers (say mincha). He says “Ashrei”, “Kaddish” and ...
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1answer
82 views

Avel that needs shmira — Also on Shabbos?

That which we say an Avel (person in mourning) is among the people that need "shmirah" (Someone to be with them - See Gemorah Brachos 54b at the bottom) is this also on Shabbos? Normally we say that ...
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47 views

How to conjugate “their resting place(s)” in Kel Malei Rachamim?

The memorial prayer Kel Malei Rachamim concludes "may they rest in peace in their resting place[s], and let us say Amen." Okay, how to say "resting place[s]." Mishkavam? Mishkaveihem? Mishkevoseihem? ...
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5answers
83 views

In Kaddish — what consolation can we offer G-d?

In the Kaddish, we say that may G-d be praised "beyond any blessing, hymn, praise, and consolation said in this world." I understand how we can bless or praise G-d -- but how exactly (or even ...
9
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1answer
395 views

Can a convert mourn for their Jewish parents?

Consider someone who was born to a Jewish father and non-Jewish mother who then converted to Judaism with his mother. It seems pashut from the Shulchan Aruch that one who converts is considered a ...
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0answers
106 views

Use of a commoner's talis to read the Torah on

Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 153:21: אין לקנות מעילים שנשתמש בהם הדיוט לתשמיש קדושה One must not purchase for holy use garments that a commoner used. "Holy use" here includes use as the ...
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1answer
110 views

Onen and Meis Mitzvah

If an onen comes across a meis mitzvah (let's assume there is either another person to be involved with the onen's personal meis or there is more time to be involved with his meis later), is the onen ...
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2answers
453 views

May one have a torah aliyah during the mourning period

Is it okay to have a torah aliyah during the 11 month mourning period, or should one wait?
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2answers
558 views

Does one sit shiva for someone he killed?

I understand sitting shiva to be an expression of bereavement. If I (hypothetically) was the victim of constant abuse which lasted for years and I ultimately, in an act of self defense, had to kill my ...
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0answers
391 views

How obligated is one to say Kaddish for a deceased relative?

People often talk about an obligation -- Chiyuv -- to recite Kaddish at every opportunity for some time after the death of a relative. (Which relatives are obligated and for how long does not seem ...
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2answers
201 views

Why are different kaddishes said by different people?

The "Mourners' Kaddish" and the "Rabbis' Kaddish" are said by mourners: either all instances are said by all mourners in the synagogue simultaneously, or each mourner gets a turn at one kaddish, or ...
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0answers
351 views

Kaddish for non-blood relatives

Does one say kaddish for a non-blood relative such as (chas v'shalom) a daughter-in-law? I know that a husband says kaddish when the parent of his wife passes away, but my understanding is that this ...
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How long does one say Kaddish for a sibling?

There is discussion here about saying Kaddish for parents and also some discussion on Kaddish for a sister. One place on the Chabad website states that Kaddish should be said for 30 days for a sibling ...
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1answer
203 views

Do we say “shabbat shalom” on Tisha b'Av that falls on Shabbat?

Yesterday I said "shabbat shalom" to someone and he said we don't do that on Tisha b'Av that falls on Shabbat. I thought that Shabbat trumps the day (and that's why we move the other observances). ...
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2answers
409 views

Mundane activities on Tisha B'Av

Tisha B'Av should be spent focusing on the destruction of Jerusalem and Beit haMikdash; but is it permissible to do daily chores as well? For example, this year, Tisha B'Av is postponed one day ...
3
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1answer
113 views

The power of a seudat mitzvah to obviate minhagei aveilus

The prohibitions which Ashkenazim take on themselves during the nine days seem to spring from post-Talmudic thinking and application of the notion of "reduced joy." For some reason, the particulars ...
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1answer
205 views

When do Sefardim start mourning in a year that Tisha B'av is postponed until Sunday?

As mentioned here, Sefardim observe the mourning period known to Ashkenazim as "The Nine Days" only during the week that Tisha B'av occurs. Tisha B'av falls out on Shabbat this year (5772), and the ...
3
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1answer
147 views

Wiping hands on Tisha b'Av

Since many authorities permit wiping the hands if one does not have water to wash with (when washing for bread), is one forbidden to wipe their hands on Tisha b'Av?
4
votes
1answer
192 views

9 be-Av on Shabbos

When 9 be-Av falls on Shabbos, it is moved to the following Sunday. Are there any restrictions on Shabbos because of 9 be-Av (maybe tashmish is forbidden)?
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1answer
409 views

When do the restrictions of 3 weeks start when 17 Tammuz is on Shabbos?

When do the restrictions of 3 weeks start when 17 Tammuz is on Shabbos (e.g. this year)? Do they start motzei shabbos (already 18 Tammuz), since the 17 Tammuz is technically on shabbos or do they ...
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1answer
229 views

Tearing kriyah at the Kotel ha-Maaravi after visiting on Shabbat

Assume the following: We should tear kriyah at the Kotel ha-Maaravi (Western Wall) if we haven't been there in 30 days. We don't tear kriyah on shabbat. Now, answer this question: If I go to the ...
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1answer
227 views

Tearing keriyah for ladies mourning in public

Is it considered to be "un-tznius" (immodest) for ladies to tear keriyah (rip their clothes in mourning) in public?
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4answers
13k views

Proper recitation of Hamakom Yenachem

Is the proper phrase to console a mourner always the plural המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים or should it be changed depending on whom it is said to (singluar, feminine, etc.)?
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2answers
130 views

What if there's a Minyan of Aveilim?

It is my understanding that when one is in the year of mourning following the death of certain relatives, he is not allowed to lead ["daven from the amud"] certain prayers (such as those on Shabbos, ...
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1answer
1k views

Why do mourning practices surrounding suicide differ from Shulchan Aruch?

It used to be that a person who committed suicide was buried in a separate part of the cemetery and the relatives did not sit shiva (see Shulchan Aruch YD 345). We no longer do these things and we ...
7
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1answer
413 views

Counting Sheloshim for a chol hamoed death

How long is the shloshim observed for a death which occurs during chol hamoed Pesach? Does one observe a full thirty days started from the funeral or is it shortened because of the chag?