A halachic period of mourning after the passing of a close relative. There are many laws and customs relating to this period and those observing it.

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432 views

Placing stones on a grave

My office is situated right next to a Jewish cemetery. A coworker, noticing the yarmulke on my head, asked me why he sometimes sees stones placed on some of the gravestones. I told him that as far as ...
18
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3answers
233 views

Must EMTs and others rend Kriyah each time they see a patient die?

I was looking at Yoreh De'ah 40:5 (יו"ד סימן ש"מ ס"ק ה) and Moed Katan 25b (כה עמוד ב), which require Kriyah (garment-rending) for all who are there at the time of death. It would seem to me that an ...
12
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3answers
4k views

Proper recitation of Hamakom Yenachem

Is the proper phrase to console a mourner always the plural המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים or should it be changed depending on whom it is said to (singluar, feminine, etc.)?
10
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4answers
285 views

What is the best way to visualize the Churban Bais HaMikdash?

It is now thousands of years since the Churban Bais HaMikdash. Many jews feel very comfortable in their surroundings. What is the best way for a person to visiualize the great loss of the Bais ...
10
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3answers
1k views

Meat on Rosh Chodesh of 9 days

Why is The reasoning that Sefardim do eat on Rosh Chodesh and Ashkinazim do not? Sefardim http://www.dailyhalacha.com/displayRead.asp?readID=950&txtSearch=meat 9 days Ashkenazim ...
9
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2answers
163 views

When there are four aveilim (mourners), Is it better to have one minyan of 40 people or 4 minyonim of ten each?

Today I was in a shul where there were four parallel mincha services because four mourners wanted to lead the services. I thought there was a principle of ברב עם הדרת מלך? What sources are there that ...
9
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1answer
151 views

Do we say “shabbat shalom” on Tisha b'Av that falls on Shabbat?

Yesterday I said "shabbat shalom" to someone and he said we don't do that on Tisha b'Av that falls on Shabbat. I thought that Shabbat trumps the day (and that's why we move the other observances). ...
8
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2answers
206 views

Mundane activities on Tisha B'Av

Tisha B'Av should be spent focusing on the destruction of Jerusalem and Beit haMikdash; but is it permissible to do daily chores as well? For example, this year, Tisha B'Av is postponed one day ...
7
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3answers
697 views

Why do we comfort a mourner with Hamakom Yenachem Eschem?

Why, when comforting a mourner at the completion of a Shiva visit, do we refer to G-d as Hamakom? We say Hamakom Yanachem Eschem - why not Hashem Yenachem or Elokim Yenachem?
7
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2answers
924 views

If someone needs to shave during Sefirah or Three Weeks because of work, should he also shave before Shabbos?

If someone needs to shave during Sefirah or Three Weeks because of work, should he also shave before Shabbos? It seems strange to shave for M-F, but to go into Shabbos with stubble. On the other ...
7
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1answer
78 views

leaving something out of a meal zecher lachurban

As described in משנה ברורה ס׳ תקס ס״ק ה–ו–ז, we omit something from any big meal (not on Shabas or yom tov), noticeably, as a זכר לחרבן. Has anyone seen this done, and, if so, what was omitted? I'm ...
7
votes
1answer
269 views

When do the restrictions of 3 weeks start when 17 Tammuz is on Shabbos?

When do the restrictions of 3 weeks start when 17 Tammuz is on Shabbos (e.g. this year)? Do they start motzei shabbos (already 18 Tammuz), since the 17 Tammuz is technically on shabbos or do they ...
7
votes
1answer
163 views

Counting Sheloshim for a chol hamoed death

How long is the shloshim observed for a death which occurs during chol hamoed Pesach? Does one observe a full thirty days started from the funeral or is it shortened because of the chag?
7
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1answer
232 views

Don't pass bread hand to hand: whose hand?

Shulchan Aruch (OC 167:18) says (in my own translation): The one who slices the loaf of bread places a slice before each person. The individual then takes the slice with his hand. The one who ...
7
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1answer
76 views

Why do we not say selichot on Tisha B'Av?

Every fast day on the Jewish calendar has its set of selichot that are said. The one exception to this is Tisha B'Av. This seems counter-intuitive to me because Tisha B'Av is the day when we mourn the ...
6
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2answers
704 views

shiduch date haircut during sefira

Are you allowed to get a haircut during the Omer if you are going on a shiduch date?
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1answer
70 views

Reciting Boruch Dayan HaEmes on Shabbos

If someone's parent dies, one must recite Boruch Dayan HaEmes. What happens if this occurs on Shabbos? Is the customary Boruch Dayan HaEmes recited or not?
6
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1answer
642 views

Why do mourning practices surrounding suicide differ from Shulchan Aruch?

It used to be that a person who committed suicide was buried in a separate part of the cemetery and the relatives did not sit shiva (see Shulchan Aruch YD 345). We no longer do these things and we ...
6
votes
1answer
92 views

Shalom Aleichem in Kiddush Levana to an Aveil

We do not say Shalom Aleichem to a Aveil. What about saying Shalom Aleichem to an Aveil (after the Shiva, during the year of Aveilus) during Kiddush Levana - do you or do you not? (sources please)
6
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1answer
447 views

How to Tear Kriyah

What is the proper procedure for tearing Kriyah (e.g. for Aveilus* or visiting the Kosel)? * May we never have to do so
6
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1answer
94 views

Haircuts on Friday when the 47th of the omer falls on Sunday

The Rema, commenting on the mourning of the first 33 days of the omer, allows haircuts on Friday, lichvod shabbos, when the 33rd falls on Sunday. Does the same reasoning apply when the 47th falls on ...
6
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1answer
537 views

Staying to enjoy the unexpected playing of recorded music during the 3 weeks/9 days

Assuming for a moment that one holds that the prohibition of listening to music during the Three Weeks / Nine Days applies to recorded music, if one were in a store that had music playing on the ...
6
votes
2answers
150 views

Why are different kaddishes said by different people?

The "Mourners' Kaddish" and the "Rabbis' Kaddish" are said by mourners: either all instances are said by all mourners in the synagogue simultaneously, or each mourner gets a turn at one kaddish, or ...
6
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2answers
260 views

Does one sit shiva for someone he killed?

I understand sitting shiva to be an expression of bereavement. If I (hypothetically) was the victim of constant abuse which lasted for years and I ultimately, in an act of self defense, had to kill my ...
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0answers
233 views

Can a convert mourn for their Jewish parents?

Consider someone who was born to a jewish father and non jewish mother who then converted to Judaism with his mother. It seems pashut from the Shulchan Aruch that one who converts is considered a ...
6
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0answers
77 views

Onen and Meis Mitzvah

If an onen comes across a mas mitzvah (let's assume there is either another person to be involved with the onen's personal mas or there is more time to be involved with his mas later), is the onen ...
5
votes
2answers
98 views

Special Grace After Meals in a House of Mourning

The Shulchan Aruch in Yoreh De'ah 379 outlines a special version of Bentching to be recited in a House of Mourning. I have been in several houses of mourning and have never seen this done. Has anyone ...
5
votes
1answer
87 views

Does a child tear Kriyah at the Kosel?

Does a kid under Bar/Bas Mitzva have to tear Kriya when they go to the Kosel?
5
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1answer
154 views

Gifts for an Aveil

The Halacha is that Mishloach Manos is not sent to an Aveil. Suppose a close relative is in Aveilus, can you send them flowers for their birthday? (Sources please)
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1answer
220 views

Twelve Months of Mourning During a Leap Year

For those who are mourning a parent for the requisite twelve-month aveilus, would Adar 1 and Adar 2 count as two separate months towards the twelve? Or does one year mean a full year, i.e., from ...
5
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3answers
104 views

Prohibition to wear black for mourning?

I've heard a rumor floating around to the effect that Jews should not wear all black as an expression of mourning. Is there anything to that? If so, is there anything inherently wrong with it, is it a ...
5
votes
2answers
66 views

In Kaddish — what consolation can we offer G-d?

In the Kaddish, we say that may G-d be praised "beyond any blessing, hymn, praise, and consolation said in this world." I understand how we can bless or praise G-d -- but how exactly (or even ...
5
votes
1answer
108 views

When do Sefardim start mourning in a year that Tisha B'av is postponed until Sunday?

As mentioned here, Sefardim observe the mourning period known to Ashkenazim as "The Nine Days" only during the week that Tisha B'av occurs. Tisha B'av falls out on Shabbat this year (5772), and the ...
5
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3answers
521 views

Taking a Shower during the Nine-Days

What are the parameters for taking a shower during the 9-day period between Rosh Chodesh Av and Tisha Bav? Namely: When is one allowed to? When doing so what water temperature should it be set on? ...
5
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1answer
205 views

Kriyah at the Kosel for Women

Do women tear Kriyah at the kosel?
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0answers
75 views

Saying “HaMakom yenachem…” multiple times

Does one say "HaMakom yenachem..." each time you leave a shiva house or only once during the shiva period. I recall someone telling me you only say it once but I cannot find any source for this.
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79 views

Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house

What are the Protocol/requirements for repeat visits to a Shiv'ah house? Are there any formalities that can be set aside (letting them speak first, sitting with them, as opposed to chatting by the ...
5
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0answers
213 views

How obligated is one to say Kaddish for a deceased relative?

People often talk about an obligation -- Chiyuv -- to recite Kaddish at every opportunity for some time after the death of a relative. (Which relatives are obligated and for how long does not seem ...
4
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1answer
185 views

Tearing keriyah for ladies mourning in public

Is it considered to be "un-tznius" (immodest) for ladies to tear keriyah (rip their clothes in mourning) in public?
4
votes
3answers
306 views

Is Kel Malei Rachamim (memorial prayer) said under the chuppah at a wedding?

I'd seen a book on wedding practices and customs that said if desired in appropriate cases, a memorial prayer ("El/Kel Malei Rachamim") could be said under the chuppah, e.g. a bride/groom who lost a ...
4
votes
2answers
70 views

Where can I find the Rav's hesped for R Chaim Ozer Grodzinsky?

I am looking for the text (in Hebrew) of R' JB Soloveitchik's hesped for R' Chaim Ozer Grozhinsky, unofficially titled "HaTzitz vehaChoshen" which was written before RJBS broke away from Agudah.
4
votes
1answer
161 views

9 be-Av on Shabbos

When 9 be-Av falls on Shabbos, it is moved to the following Sunday. Are there any restrictions on Shabbos because of 9 be-Av (maybe tashmish is forbidden)?
4
votes
2answers
154 views

What is the halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during Sefira?

What is the earliest halachic source for the minhagim of mourning during sefira? Note that this does not mean the story of R' Akiva, I'm talking about halachic references to prohibitions such as not ...
4
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2answers
55 views

Why were Yisrael allowed to mourn for the death of the two sons of Aharon, but not Aharon and his two remaining sons?

After the two sons of Aharon were killed by Hashem, it says in Vayikra 10:6 “ And Moses said to Aaron and to Eleazar and to Ithamar, his sons: Do not leave your heads unshorn and do not rend your ...
4
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1answer
71 views

Can an Onen receive an Aliyah?

By onen I mean someone who as lost their sibling, and they haven't been buried yet. Can an onen be called to the Torah as an Oleh? Can an onen read from the Torah?
4
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1answer
201 views

Kibus (Laundry) During the Nine Days

The reason brought by Rashi and quoted by poskim such as the Mishna Berurah as to why we do not do laundry during the nine days (or Sefardim, in the week that the Ninth of Av falls out in) is because ...
4
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1answer
170 views

Tearing kriyah at the Kotel ha-Maaravi after visiting on Shabbat

Assume the following: We should tear kriyah at the Kotel ha-Maaravi (Western Wall) if we haven't been there in 30 days. We don't tear kriyah on shabbat. Now, answer this question: If I go to the ...
4
votes
2answers
262 views

When exactly should an avel (mourner) not be davening before the amud?

An avel (mourner) if possible should also daven before the amud (be the chazan) on weekdays. But certain times of the year especially when tachanun is not said (but not every time) he should not be ...
4
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2answers
130 views

Reasoning for doing/not doing mourning customs in second half of the omer

In my observation, most people observe certain mourning customs between the beginning of sefirat ha'omer and lag b'omer (such as refraining from shaving, listening to live music, etc.). Some people ...
4
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0answers
88 views

What's considered shaving?

During periods of mourning, such as Sefirat Haomer and the three weeks prior to Tisha B'av, shaving is prohibited. What is considered shaving and what is allowed? May you pluck out a few hairs here ...