marriage, marrying, the state of being married; more specific tags are `wedding` and `intermarriage`

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52
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5answers
3k views

What is the halachic source for objection to gay (civil) marriage?

New York State is considering legalizing gay (civil) marriages, so tonight on our answering machine we received a message urging us to pray that it doesn't pass because gay civil marriages were, you ...
27
votes
2answers
2k views

What is the point of having a rapist marry the woman he raped?

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 (JPS) 28  If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 then the man that lay ...
22
votes
3answers
4k views

Questions about Polygamy in Jewish Law and Culture

I've recently been looking into polygamy (having more than 1 wife), and had a few cultural questions. Was polygamy accepted at the time of David and Solomon? Were there any laws about it? Was ...
18
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3answers
475 views

Saying “I love you” during nidda

While a woman is nidda and she and her husband are observing harchakot, is it permitted for them to tell each other, "I love you," or is that too suggestive of a statement for the nidda period?
17
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2answers
4k views

May my wife wear my jacket to keep warm?

The Sefer HaChinuch #564 writes that it’s forbidden for a woman to wear men’s clothing. If it’s cold outside, is a woman allowed to wear a man’s coat to keep warm? If #1 is a problem, are any ...
16
votes
4answers
676 views

Gezeira of Rabbeinu Gershom text

Does anyone know where I can find the actual text of the Gezeira of Rabbeinu Gershom? It keeps popping up in my learning, but only as being referenced, I would like to read that actual text.
16
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2answers
2k views

Apologetics for marriage at 3 years old

Are there contemporary apologetics for the Mishnah (Niddah 44b) that a girl of the age of 3 can be married by sexual relations? (It seems difficult to accept that such a thing is even allowed in ...
15
votes
3answers
399 views

Was it ever the norm for children to get married?

The Gemara describes many Halachos that apply when someone gets married at very young ages, many under 12, and even a few for the age of 3. There are stories of people who did get married at such ages ...
14
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10answers
480 views

Yaakov Marrying Two Sisters

According to those that say the Avos kept the Torah beforehand (here), how was Yaakov allowed to marry two sisters? (Yes, I'm aware that there are many answers)
14
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1answer
1k views

Can you see your wife unclothed?

I think someone in another question here (or on another site?) said he was told by his "chassan teacher" not to look at his wife unclothed. It seems like this is not the real halacha to me, or at ...
14
votes
3answers
2k views

Taking a concubine (pilegesh) today

Moderator's note: As with all discussions of Jewish law on this site, any information included in this question or its answers is presented only for the purpose of understanding the relevant ideas, ...
14
votes
1answer
342 views

Riddle: when would a couple be forced to break their engagement? [closed]

Riddle: Chaim and Shprintza got engaged. They, their entire families, and their rabbis were all totally happy about the engagement. They didn't hide any information from one another. Chaim and ...
14
votes
2answers
434 views

Called to the Torah before wedding

I recently received an invitation to a friends wedding and I noticed that it said he would be "Called to the Torah" with a date and time approximately 1 week before the wedding. I am not Jewish, so ...
14
votes
1answer
282 views

What's the leading medical explanation for the “woman whose husbands keep dying” (“katlanit”) phenomenon?

The Gemara says that if a woman gets married, then her husband dies; then marries another guy and is widowed from him; then once more; we then assume something about her is causing her husbands to die ...
14
votes
1answer
238 views

If a woman had more than one husband, to which would she be united at the Resurrection?

Ezra Stiles was a Congregationalist minister in Newport, Rhode Island in the late 18th century. He was a frequent visitor to the Newport Synagogue and there met Rabbi Raphael Hayyim Issac Carregal, a ...
13
votes
2answers
775 views

What happens to the family of a Kohen today if his wife is a victim of rape?

What happens to the family of a Kohen today if his wife is a victim of rape? What are the steps taken and how does this come to be resolved according to halachah and in the most constructive way for ...
13
votes
3answers
328 views

Why did Achashveirosh take Esther if she was already married?

According to the opinion that Queen Esther was married to Mordechai. Achashveirosh was looking for unmarried girls (Esther 2:2–4). Why did he take a married woman? Especially considering that Queen ...
13
votes
2answers
525 views

Why is hair sometimes considered *erva* (nakedness) but sometimes not?

Why do people say that the hair of a married woman is considered as nakedness, but not the hair of a single woman? Isn't hair just hair? What if a man grew his hair long - would it also be ...
13
votes
3answers
559 views

Can someone have more than one potential soulmate simultaneously?

I have been told from several different people that it is possible for one person to have multiple Besherts (divinely intended marriage partners, soulmates if you will) to choose from. He may only ...
13
votes
2answers
256 views

Why did Avraham prefer the daughters of Aner, Eshkol and Mamre over Eliezer's daughter?

Rashi on Bereishis 24:39 says that Abraham said to [Eliezer] “My son is blessed, and you are cursed [Eliezer was a descendant of Canaan who had been cursed by Noah], and an accursed one cannot ...
12
votes
6answers
372 views

Leah: Isn't it enough that you took away my husband?

I have never had any understanding of this statement by Leah to Rachel: "Isn't it enough that you took away my husband?" in parsha vayetze. The obvious truth seems to be the opposite: after all, ...
12
votes
2answers
380 views

Marital Prenups

In 1993 Rabbi Mordechai Willig, a Rosh Yeshiva at YU and a member of the Beth Din of America, drafted a prenup for use at Jewish weddings to avoid future Aguna/Mesorevet Get problems. The agreement ...
12
votes
1answer
378 views

Is it ok for spouses to touch in public?

Are spouses allowed to touch one another in public (when the wife is not a niddah) or is this a violation of tzniut? I am asking specifically regarding touch that is not in any way sexual or even ...
12
votes
1answer
199 views

Would a widower observe Yahrzeit after remarriage?

If a Jewish man's wife died, he would naturally observe the Yahrzeit on the anniversary of her death. Would he continue to do so if he remarried? My question comes from reading about the Yahrezeit ...
12
votes
2answers
192 views

Promised to name son Shimon - now husband is Shimon!?

A woman who desperately wanted to get married traveled to Meron, the burial place of Rebbi Shimon bar Yochai, and vowed that if she found her match, she would name her first son Shimon in his merit. ...
11
votes
6answers
664 views

40 Days Before Conception

It is written somewhere (I don't remember exactly where) that 40 days before conception, it is called out in Heaven who that person will marry. However, if the person gets married multiple times how ...
11
votes
4answers
642 views

Getting married in age order

Those that refrain from allowing a younger sibling to get married prior to an older sibling mention the verse from Lavan, "Lo Yaiose Kain BimiKomeinu Losais Hatziyira Lifnei HaBechira, In our locale ...
11
votes
3answers
399 views

Siblings marrying siblings

Can two siblings in one family marry two siblings of another family?
11
votes
4answers
653 views

What's an elegant way to avoid social contact with untzinius or attractive women?

There's times when women I'm attracted to visit our home or are friends of my wife and I don't feel comfortable completely ignoring them or telling my wife to not invite them. I'm not sure how my wife ...
11
votes
3answers
555 views

Talis Gadol for Unmarried Individuals

In my minhag (and I believe it's minhag Ashkenaz), unmarried men do not wear a Talis Gadol (only a Talis Katan). Why is this so?
11
votes
2answers
661 views

Can a Kohen Marry a Woman with a Non-Jewish Father?

Is a Kohen allowed to marry a woman who is the daughter of a Jewish woman and non-Jewish man?
11
votes
3answers
707 views

Minhag of married women shaving during marriage

The custom for married women to shave their heads is, evidently, a fairly widespread custom that exists at least amongst (certain) Hasidim. I have heard a variety of supposed, non-authoritative ...
11
votes
3answers
433 views

Why should one have marital relations as if forced by a demon?

The gemarah (nedarim 20b) mentions that one of the reasons for having beautiful children is due to having relations "as if forced by a demon". Rashi there explains the term as either indicating that ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

Can a Cohen marry a bat niddah?

Can a Cohen marry a bat niddah? Are Cohens generally restricted from marrying baalei teshuva because of the possibility that they may be b'not niddah?
10
votes
3answers
320 views

Who was Cain's wife?

I saw this problem on reddit today and I think that we cursorily covered this in Tanach class. Who was Cain's wife? In בראשית ד' י"ז it says " וַיֵּדַע קַיִן אֶת-אִשְׁתּוֹ" but it never says who she ...
10
votes
2answers
811 views

Can only the husband in a gentile married couple convert?

We are a gentile married couple and my husband wants to convert orthodox and im still not sure if i want to convert at all. i found out that the conservative would let my husband convert and stay with ...
10
votes
2answers
707 views

Rape for a girl and is looking to get married

If a young Jewish girl was raped, what are the protocols for her getting married? Is there anyone that she can't marry other than the Kohen or Kohen Gadol? What are the halachot for these types of ...
10
votes
2answers
447 views

Why doesn't a ben niddah acquire the status of a mamzer?

One who commits incest is punished with Kares (spiritual separation from the divine source), and any product of incest has the status of a Mamzer. One who has relations with a Niddah is also ...
10
votes
2answers
256 views

Blind and Marriage

The Gemara tells us that a man may not marry a woman without first seeing her because if she turns out to be displeasing to him then he will transgress the mitzvah of "Ve'ahavtah lerei'acha ...
10
votes
3answers
543 views

Non-Jew's marriage obligation

Does a non-Jew have an obligation to get married like the Jew does?
10
votes
2answers
604 views

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship?

Would a baalat teshuva need a get from each previous sexual relationship? In light of the idea that marriage can be contracted solely through bi'ah/public knowledge of the couple's relationship (as ...
10
votes
2answers
424 views

Polyandry and Polygamy In Judaism

What is rule and constraint on Polygamy and Polyandry in Jewish Rule? Is that allowed or prohibited? In both case either allowed or not, give me explanation on it. I found one or two question on ...
10
votes
2answers
195 views

What does a marriage proposal look like?

Most of us are familiar with the (American? Secular?) image of a proposal. The man kneels and says "will you marry me?" and so on. But what does an Orthodox proposal look like? I'm interested in any ...
10
votes
3answers
515 views

Is an asexual person obligated in Pru Urvu?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation characterized by the lack of sexual attraction towards people in general. Asexuals may or may not be interested in romantic relationships, but are not physically ...
10
votes
1answer
256 views

(How) was Tu B'Av observed as a matchmaking/singles-meeting event through history?

I know the Talmud describes how the fifteenth day of the month of Av (Tu b'Av) was a day of ... I'd say "matchmaking", but I think "marriage-minded-singles-meeting" is more like it: אמר רבן שמעון ...
9
votes
4answers
4k views

Is a rabbi required to be married?

I have heard (I honestly cannot remember where...) that to be a rabbi a man must be married. Is there any truth to this? I am more interested in knowing if this "WAS" true in time of Jesus, than if ...
9
votes
2answers
792 views

Can the child of two converts marry a Cohen?

Can the child of two converts marry a Cohen? How does the situation differ if only the mother, or only the father, is a convert? (I have read that "ideally" the child of two converts should not ...
9
votes
1answer
220 views

Chamisha Asar B'Av - when did the Minhag stop?

The Gemara Taanis 31. says אמר רבן שמעון בן גמליאל לא היו ימים טובים לישראל כחמשה עשר באב וכיוה"כ שבהן בנות ירושלים יוצאות ... וחולות בכרמים ומה היו אומרות בחור שא נא עיניך וראה מה אתה בורר לך אל תתן ...
9
votes
3answers
701 views

Custom of not giving knives as a gift?

I'd heard that some people have a custom not to give knives as a gift (as knives are a sign of shortening life, not extending it); I asked one rabbi who said he hadn't heard of such a custom, but it ...
9
votes
3answers
320 views

Can the daughter of two people who could not marry a Cohen marry a cohen?

Can a woman whose father's father isn't Jewish, but whose father's mother is a regular Jew, and whose mother is the child of two converts marry a Cohen? On the one hand she isn't purely from ...