Honor thy Father and Mother

learn more… | top users | synonyms (1)

25
votes
2answers
655 views

How does a son call up his father for an Aliyah?

Suppose a son is the Gabbai in a Shul and needs to call up his father for an aliyah (or his brother who is the son of his father). Does the son say his father's name? Does he say something else ...
18
votes
2answers
834 views

May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths?

May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths? I think the answer is that yes, he may do so out of respect for them (even though, in a strict halachic sense, he is no ...
18
votes
1answer
493 views

Is a convert obliged to honor his parents?

Is a convert obliged to honor his parents? I understand that a convert loses all halakhic relationship to his parents upon being "reborn." Therefore, does the mitzvah of kibud av va'eim still apply?
15
votes
1answer
244 views

Calling a father Abba, when his name is Abba

May a child call his father Abba - if his name is Abba?
13
votes
9answers
456 views

Why Didn't Yosef tell Yaakov He was Still Alive?

What do the meforshim say on why Yosef didn't tell Yaakov he was still alive? Do any critique him?
13
votes
2answers
198 views

Esav was coming with 400 men: why then

Why was Esav going toward Yaakov (Gen. 33:1, 32:7) if he had (27:41) planned to wait to kill him until Yitzchak was dead? (Please cite your source, if any.)
12
votes
1answer
225 views

Kibud Av v'Ach?

As I understand it there is an obligation (See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 240:22) to honor an older brother similar to that of honoring one's father. Since the obligation to honor one's father can have ...
11
votes
1answer
296 views

Addressing mother as teacher

Children are not supposed to call their parents by their first name because it implies a casual rather than respectful relationship. My daughter attends the school where my wife is a teacher. The ...
9
votes
3answers
394 views

Are a father and son allowed to learn martial arts together?

Can a father and son take karate or kung-fu lessons together if part of the training involves sparring? Is there a problem with the son hitting the father?
9
votes
2answers
161 views

Correcting one's father or one's rav when he is leyning

The Shulchan Arukh (YD 240:2) rules that one is never allowed to contradict one's father in his presence, and that when it comes to one's rav (or one's father if he is a Torah scholar; YD 242:1-2), ...
8
votes
4answers
312 views

What is the source for the idea that only two mitzvot have a specific reward associated with them?

I have heard it said that only the mitzvot of kibbud av v'eim (honoring parents) and shiluach haken (sending away the mother bird before taking eggs) are given with an explicit reward (that your days ...
8
votes
2answers
179 views

Respect: Parents and parents-in-law

Does the Respect required by the children for their parents is equally true for the parents-in-law ? I'm sure a son has to obey his father above his father-in-law if there is any disagreement between ...
8
votes
2answers
183 views

“There they buried Yitzchak” — not “my father”?

"What is awe" of a parent? asks Shulchan Aruch Yore Dea 240:2. It includes, SA answers, that one shall not call [his parent] by [the latter's] name, neither during [the parent]'s life, nor in his ...
8
votes
1answer
102 views

Is there Kibbud to grandparents after the parent is niftar?

Is there an obligation to give respect (in the form of physical provision) to a grandparent whose child, your parent, died? For example, if Ruvein has Shimon and Shimon has Levi, and Shimon dies, is ...
8
votes
2answers
188 views

Is it better to pray at a synagogue where you feel comfortable praying, or to go where your father prays?

This is a common problem with guys living near or with their parents. Do you fulfill Kibud Av Ve'aim and go to shul with your father, or is it preferred to pray at a place where you feel more ...
7
votes
1answer
102 views

Is there a Mitzvah to love parents?

Is there a special mitzvah to love one's parents? If so, does it require the parent's awareness of that love?
7
votes
4answers
245 views

Bracha on Kibud Av Va'eim

Why do we not make a Bracha (e.g. every morning) on the mitzvah of honoring one's parents?
7
votes
3answers
219 views

Siding with your father in an argument between parents

According to the laws of respecting your parents, a child may not tell his parent that he/she is wrong. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 240:2) Now, if both father and mother are arguing about something ...
7
votes
1answer
210 views

Can a teen threaten or attack one parent, who is beating or is about to beat the other?

This is relevant in many dysfunctional Jewish homes. Suppose one parent is beating or about to beat the other, and the child has an opportunity to intervene by threatening violence to the abusive ...
6
votes
2answers
300 views

Formal Hebrew honorific for one's mother

Many men, when going up for an aliya, tell the gabbai their name as, e.g. "Reuven ben Rav Yaakov", even if "Yaakov," the father, isn't actually a Rabbi." I believe the reason for this practice is to ...
6
votes
2answers
211 views

Dama ben Nesina and the red heifer

Kidushin 31a brings the story of Dama ben Nesina and his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim which cost him a huge fortune. He was rewarded for his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim by one of his cows giving birth to a red ...
6
votes
1answer
237 views

Parents who don't want children to take ma'aser from gift

Suppose a non-observant parent gives a (monetary) gift to his/her adult child, but asks that the child not remove 10% to give for tzedaka ("Your mother and I saved this money for you, not for other ...
6
votes
2answers
179 views

Parents oppose a chumra

We know that if a parent wants his/her child to violate halacha, the law of Kibbud Av V'Eim does not apply. But what if the parent wants the child to not accept a chumra that the child feels very ...
6
votes
1answer
130 views

What do we think about Father's Day?

Is there anything wrong with celebrating Father's Day? (Perhaps implying that you only need to give your father special attention one day a year?) Is there anything right with celebrating Father's ...
6
votes
2answers
147 views

Honor of old people vs. honor of parents

Who has precedence in honor: A father or an old person? It seems that the answer would be a father; (*) however, there is a midrash that implies otherwise: Yalkut Shimoni, end of Bemidbar 752 ...
5
votes
3answers
239 views

Have not gone to parents grave in seven years

A friend recently mentioned that she has not gone to her parents grave in over ten years due to its distance and when she wanted to go she was told by a Rabbi that if she has not been there for over ...
5
votes
3answers
172 views

Honoring parental requests that don't benefit the parents

If one's parents ask him to do something that is not beneficial to the parents in any way whatsoever (though not harmful to the parents, the child, or anyone else, either), is he nonetheless obligated ...
5
votes
2answers
103 views

How did Avraham refer to his father the Rambam in writing?

What term did Avraham ben haRambam use when referring to his father in his writings? (Compare to R' Ya'akov ben Asher (the Tur), referring to his father (the Rosh), as Adoni Avi or A"A.) Did he use a ...
5
votes
1answer
65 views

Can someone give their parents mussar?

Does giving parents mussar go against kabed es avicha vas ameicha?
5
votes
1answer
331 views

Why was Yaakov punished for not honoring his parents?

Bereshit 37:34 (translation by machon-mamre): וַיִּקְרַע יַעֲקֹב שִׂמְלֹתָיו, וַיָּשֶׂם שַׂק בְּמָתְנָיו; וַיִּתְאַבֵּל עַל-בְּנוֹ, יָמִים רַבִּים And Jacob rent his garments, and put ...
5
votes
1answer
289 views

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents?

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents? Does it matter if the child cannot locate his biological parents?
5
votes
1answer
81 views

Kibud Av Veim if parent(s) is an idolater

Suppose someone has a parent(or both) who, chas vshalom, became an idolater. Do their kids still have the obligation of Kibud Av Veim towards them?
5
votes
2answers
74 views

What is the obligation of respecting parents

Is respecting parents doing what they want (hint) or doing what they command (ask for) Does a son have an obligation to find/figure out what the father wants him to do? Or can he just simply do what ...
5
votes
1answer
48 views

Visiting Deceased Loved Ones

Is it a mitzvah of some sort to visit the grave-sites of parents or other close relatives at the cemetery (as opposed to it being primarily sentimental/emotional in nature)? To what extent must one go ...
5
votes
1answer
64 views

Under what conditions must one rise for his parents?

Is it enough to rise when a parent enters the building or must you rise every time he/she enters your room or passes by your room. I am interested to know customs for both sefardim and Ashkenazim as ...
5
votes
0answers
57 views

A father Changing a minhag - any impact on a grown child?

I was reading some questions about changing minhagim and I began to wonder -- if I took on my father's minhagim when I grew, and then, later, he changed a minhag because he learned something new, or ...
5
votes
0answers
180 views

Parent dying overseas - visit now or attend funeral?

A person lives far away from a dying parent and cannot afford more than one visit. What do the halachic sources say about when they should visit? Should they visit the parent immediately and miss the ...
4
votes
3answers
449 views

Are there analogs to “Abba” & “Ima” for in-laws? [closed]

I know that “אבא” and “אמא” are originally Aramaic translations of the Hebrew “אבי” and “אמי” which have become adapted to Hebrew, especially in the accusative case. Are there similar forms in ...
4
votes
1answer
141 views

Can I use kibud av v'em to get my son to date somebody?

Our son is getting older and still has this wild idea from his 20s and 30s that he will find a model who knows shas! We try to explain that it is getting harder as he gets older, to no avail. There ...
4
votes
1answer
170 views

Can an adopted child call birth parents by first name?

Consider someone adopted by Jewish parents, whom he grew up calling 'mom' and 'dad'. After he reaches adulthood, he meets his biological parents. Can he call them by their first names, if 'mom' and '...
4
votes
1answer
142 views

Referring to parent in third person

I have seen some homes where the children refer to the parent in third person as a sign of respect (Would Abba like to...). I'm curious to know if this practice is brought down in any sefer and if in ...
4
votes
1answer
97 views

Mamzer honoring his father - why wouldn't he?

The Shulhan 'Aruch (240:18) writes that a Mamzer has an obligation to honor his father. Why might I think otherwise?
4
votes
1answer
123 views

Should an adoptee mourn his Jewish biological parents?

I was adopted at birth from a Jewish biological mother into a Jewish adoptive family. Should I observe mourning for my birth mother when she dies, and otherwise honor her as a parent? Thank you.
4
votes
2answers
285 views

Converts, kibbud av v'eim, and non-Jewish holidays

A convert is required to honor his parents. This does not apply when fulfilling their requests violates halacha. I suspect that many parents of converts, who are not knowledgable in halacha and ...
4
votes
1answer
121 views

Amount of respect from daughter in law to her father in law

1. If the father commands his son to tell his (the son's) wife to do something, does the son have a mitzvah to listen if it is not against the torah? (Since I see that mitzvah is also to listen to ...
4
votes
2answers
101 views

Can someone stop being supported by his father without his father's permission?

From the shulchan aruch (yora deya 240.5 end) אֲבָל חַיָּב לְכַבְּדוֹ בְּגוּפוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ כָּךְ בָּטֵל מִמְּלַאכְתּוֹ, וְיִצְטָרֵךְ לְחַזֵּר עַל הַפְּתָחִים. וְדַוְקָא דְּאִית ...
4
votes
2answers
87 views

Why are the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim?

The Rambam places the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim (5th and 6th chapters). Why there? What does כיבוד אב ואם have to do with Beis Din?
4
votes
0answers
55 views

Not passing up a mitzvah: putting away laundry at a parent's behest: closest pile first?

My kid asked: I know there's a general rule of en maavirin al hamtizvos, we don't pass over a mitzva. For example, in mishnayos Yoma, the kohanim don't pass over the nearest blood basin to put ...
4
votes
0answers
94 views

Buying kitniyot during Pesach

I have tried, with difficulty, to find good Halachic information about kitniyot on Pesach for those who eat kitniyot (there's plenty of information for those who don't), specifically about whether it ...
4
votes
0answers
62 views

What would be the Torah view on Kibud Av vEm when requested to constantly cater to them?

If a parent regularly asks to be accompanied to multiple places by car during the day and this would use a large portion of the day, is the child required to fulfill this all the time even if it ...