Honor thy Father and Mother

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24
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2answers
513 views

How does a son call up his father for an Aliyah?

Suppose a son is the Gabbai in a Shul and needs to call up his father for an aliyah (or his brother who is the son of his father). Does the son say his father's name? Does he say something else ...
19
votes
2answers
620 views

May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths?

May (or should) a convert recite kaddish after his biological parents' deaths? I think the answer is that yes, he may do so out of respect for them (even though, in a strict halachic sense, he is no ...
16
votes
1answer
354 views

Is a convert obliged to honor his parents?

Is a convert obliged to honor his parents? I understand that a convert loses all halakhic relationship to his parents upon being "reborn." Therefore, does the mitzvah of kibud av va'eim still apply?
15
votes
1answer
209 views

Calling a father Abba, when his name is Abba

May a child call his father Abba - if his name is Abba?
12
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7answers
312 views

Why Didn't Yosef tell Yaakov He was Still Alive?

What do the meforshim say on why Yosef didn't tell Yaakov he was still alive? Do any critique him?
12
votes
1answer
188 views

Kibud Av v'Ach?

As I understand it there is an obligation (See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 240:22) to honor an older brother similar to that of honoring one's father. Since the obligation to honor one's father can have ...
10
votes
2answers
181 views

Esav was coming with 400 men: why then

Why was Esav going toward Yaakov (Gen. 33:1, 32:7) if he had (27:41) planned to wait to kill him until Yitzchak was dead? (Please cite your source, if any.)
8
votes
2answers
152 views

Respect: Parents and parents-in-law

Does the Respect required by the children for their parents is equally true for the parents-in-law ? I'm sure a son has to obey his father above his father-in-law if there is any disagreement between ...
8
votes
1answer
84 views

Is there Kibbud to grandparents after the parent is niftar?

Is there an obligation to give respect (in the form of physical provision) to a grandparent whose child, your parent, died? For example, if Ruvein has Shimon and Shimon has Levi, and Shimon dies, is ...
8
votes
3answers
257 views

Are a father and son allowed to learn martial arts together?

Can a father and son take karate or kung-fu lessons together if part of the training involves sparring? Is there a problem with the son hitting the father?
7
votes
4answers
275 views

What is the source for the idea that only two mitzvot have a specific reward associated with them?

I have heard it said that only the mitzvot of kibbud av v'eim (honoring parents) and shiluach haken (sending away the mother bird before taking eggs) are given with an explicit reward (that your days ...
7
votes
1answer
132 views

“There they buried Yitzchak” — not “my father”?

"What is awe" of a parent? asks Shulchan Aruch Yore Dea 240:2. It includes, SA answers, that one shall not call [his parent] by [the latter's] name, neither during [the parent]'s life, nor in his ...
7
votes
2answers
168 views

Is it better to pray at a synagogue where you feel comfortable praying, or to go where your father prays?

This is a common problem with guys living near or with their parents. Do you fulfill Kibud Av Ve'aim and go to shul with your father, or is it preferred to pray at a place where you feel more ...
6
votes
2answers
229 views

Formal Hebrew honorific for one's mother

Many men, when going up for an aliya, tell the gabbai their name as, e.g. "Reuven ben Rav Yaakov", even if "Yaakov," the father, isn't actually a Rabbi." I believe the reason for this practice is to ...
6
votes
1answer
64 views

Is there a Mitzvah to love parents?

Is there a special mitzvah to love one's parents? If so, does it require the parent's awareness of that love?
6
votes
4answers
214 views

Bracha on Kibud Av Va'eim

Why do we not make a Bracha (e.g. every morning) on the mitzvah of honoring one's parents?
6
votes
3answers
164 views

Siding with your father in an argument between parents

According to the laws of respecting your parents, a child may not tell his parent that he/she is wrong. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 240:2) Now, if both father and mother are arguing about something ...
6
votes
1answer
185 views

Can a teen threaten or attack one parent, who is beating or is about to beat the other?

This is relevant in many dysfunctional Jewish homes. Suppose one parent is beating or about to beat the other, and the child has an opportunity to intervene by threatening violence to the abusive ...
5
votes
3answers
211 views

Have not gone to parents grave in seven years

A friend recently mentioned that she has not gone to her parents grave in over ten years due to its distance and when she wanted to go she was told by a Rabbi that if she has not been there for over ...
5
votes
2answers
94 views

How did Avraham refer to his father the Rambam in writing?

What term did Avraham ben haRambam use when referring to his father in his writings? (Compare to R' Ya'akov ben Asher (the Tur), referring to his father (the Rosh), as Adoni Avi or A"A.) Did he use a ...
5
votes
1answer
226 views

Why was Yaakov punished for not honoring his parents?

Bereshit 37:34 (translation by machon-mamre): וַיִּקְרַע יַעֲקֹב שִׂמְלֹתָיו, וַיָּשֶׂם שַׂק בְּמָתְנָיו; וַיִּתְאַבֵּל עַל-בְּנוֹ, יָמִים רַבִּים And Jacob rent his garments, and put ...
5
votes
1answer
85 views

What do we think about Father's Day?

Is there anything wrong with celebrating Father's Day? (Perhaps implying that you only need to give your father special attention one day a year?) Is there anything right with celebrating Father's ...
5
votes
2answers
123 views

Honor of old people vs. honor of parents

Who has precedence in honor: A father or an old person? It seems that the answer would be a father; (*) however, there is a midrash that implies otherwise: Yalkut Shimoni, end of Bemidbar 752 ...
4
votes
3answers
134 views

Honoring parental requests that don't benefit the parents

If one's parents ask him to do something that is not beneficial to the parents in any way whatsoever (though not harmful to the parents, the child, or anyone else, either), is he nonetheless obligated ...
4
votes
1answer
141 views

Can an adopted child call birth parents by first name?

Consider someone adopted by Jewish parents, whom he grew up calling 'mom' and 'dad'. After he reaches adulthood, he meets his biological parents. Can he call them by their first names, if 'mom' and ...
4
votes
1answer
244 views

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents?

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents? Does it matter if the child cannot locate his biological parents?
4
votes
1answer
63 views

Kibud Av Veim if parent(s) is an idolater

Suppose someone has a parent(or both) who, chas vshalom, became an idolater. Do their kids still have the obligation of Kibud Av Veim towards them?
4
votes
1answer
193 views

Parents who don't want children to take ma'aser from gift

Suppose a non-observant parent gives a (monetary) gift to his/her adult child, but asks that the child not remove 10% to give for tzedaka ("Your mother and I saved this money for you, not for other ...
4
votes
2answers
117 views

Parents oppose a chumra

We know that if a parent wants his/her child to violate halacha, the law of Kibbud Av V'Eim does not apply. But what if the parent wants the child to not accept a chumra that the child feels very ...
4
votes
2answers
229 views

Converts, kibbud av v'eim, and non-Jewish holidays

A convert is required to honor his parents. This does not apply when fulfilling their requests violates halacha. I suspect that many parents of converts, who are not knowledgable in halacha and ...
4
votes
0answers
123 views

Parent dying overseas - visit now or attend funeral?

A person lives far away from a dying parent and cannot afford more than one visit. What do the halachic sources say about when they should visit? Should they visit the parent immediately and miss the ...
3
votes
3answers
258 views

Are there analogs to “Abba” & “Ima” for in-laws? [closed]

I know that “אבא” and “אמא” are originally Aramaic translations of the Hebrew “אבי” and “אמי” which have become adapted to Hebrew, especially in the accusative case. Are there similar forms in ...
3
votes
2answers
89 views

Dama ben Nesina and the red heifer

Kidushin 31a brings the story of Dama ben Nesina and his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim which cost him a huge fortune. He was rewarded for his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim by one of his cows giving birth to a red ...
3
votes
1answer
120 views

Referring to parent in third person

I have seen some homes where the children refer to the parent in third person as a sign of respect (Would Abba like to...). I'm curious to know if this practice is brought down in any sefer and if in ...
3
votes
1answer
88 views

Can I use kibud av v'em to get my son to date somebody?

Our son is getting older and still has this wild idea from his 20s and 30s that he will find a model who knows shas! We try to explain that it is getting harder as he gets older, to no avail. There ...
3
votes
1answer
84 views

Mamzer honoring his father - why wouldn't he?

The Shulhan 'Aruch (240:18) writes that a Mamzer has an obligation to honor his father. Why might I think otherwise?
3
votes
1answer
215 views

May a person give his father a haircut?

Per Yoreh Deah 241:3 one should not take out a thorn embedded in his father as it may cause a wound. One should also not do a phlebotomy on his father. I have heard people saying that this would ...
3
votes
1answer
98 views

Should an adoptee mourn his Jewish biological parents?

I was adopted at birth from a Jewish biological mother into a Jewish adoptive family. Should I observe mourning for my birth mother when she dies, and otherwise honor her as a parent? Thank you.
3
votes
2answers
38 views

Why are the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim?

The Rambam places the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim (5th and 6th chapters). Why there? What does כיבוד אב ואם have to do with Beis Din?
3
votes
0answers
44 views

Buying kitniyot during Pesach

I have tried, with difficulty, to find good Halachic information about kitniyot on Pesach for those who eat kitniyot (there's plenty of information for those who don't), specifically about whether it ...
3
votes
0answers
51 views

What would be the Torah view on Kibud Av vEm when requested to constantly cater to them?

If a parent regularly asks to be accompanied to multiple places by car during the day and this would use a large portion of the day, is the child required to fulfill this all the time even if it ...
2
votes
4answers
326 views

Honor parents who want you to violate halacha?

Suppose a parent feels very strongly against a certain aspect of halacha, for whatever reason. What would be an appropriate way to follow halacha while maintaining kibbud av v'eim?
2
votes
2answers
596 views

Can a surgeon operate on his father

Suppose I am a surgeon, and I am renowned for doing a certain type of operation. If my father is in need of that operation, is there a heter for me to operate on him or is there still the prohibition ...
2
votes
2answers
136 views

Kibbud for wife

There is no Torah obligation (as far as I am aware) for kibbud for a wife; however, in my experience, husbands tend to show a special honor for their wives. An example where this is frequenetly ...
2
votes
0answers
63 views

Honoring a wicked father who has repented - How is he still considered wicked?

The Shulhan 'Aruch (Y"D 240:18) writes that one is obligated to honor his father even if the father is wicked (actually, it says that a Mamzer is obligated, but I believe that the implication is that ...
1
vote
1answer
143 views

Source for story about R' Yishmael ben Elisha's mother?

This article tells us the following story about R' Yishmael ben Elisha and his mother: Rabbi Ishmael's mother was a very pious woman, and she worshipped her son. But one day she astonished the ...
1
vote
2answers
100 views

Two Yahrtzeits One for Mother one for Father who comes First

All other things being equal Halachically, if you have two people with Yahrtzeits one for a mother and one for a father, who has priority with regards to getting an Aliyah (and/or davening for the ...
1
vote
1answer
54 views

Mitzva of Tzedaka for Pikuach Nefesh

Let's say one has a relative/parent who needs a life saving operation but does not have the financial means to pay for it or even get a loan, is one required to sell his property to help them?
0
votes
1answer
75 views

How to “honor thy father and mother” when publicly addressing a parent's sexism?

In a discussion on a social media website, one of my parents has expressed a opinion I consider sexist. Feminist principle dictates that I publicly express my disapproval of this, and post a response ...
0
votes
2answers
132 views

Off the Derech Parent [closed]

In what instances to kibbud av v'em apply to a parent who has become less religious? For example, of the following points, which battles are worth fighting? Kashrut Shabbat Chaggim tzniut As ...