Honor thy Father and Mother

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Honor your Father and your Mother?

I heard a Rabbi at the Central Synagogue in New York preach that honoring your parents was not just to agree with them but to understand them. How does the halacha deal with parents who are very ...
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2answers
54 views

What is the obligation of respecting parents

Is respecting parents doing what they want (hint) or doing what they command (ask for) Does a son have an obligation to find/figure out what the father wants him to do? Or can he just simply do what ...
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4answers
72 views

Kibud av VS midas hasidus what wins

I understand that if the father commands to go against the torah there is no obligation to listen to him, But what if it is against midas chasidus (e.g. he is commanding his son to take a gift ...
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41 views

What does it mean that learning torah is greater then respecting parents

In the shulchan aruch yora daiya 140.13 it says: תַּלְמוּד תּוֹרָה גָּדוֹל מִכְּבוֹד אָב וָאֵם. Talmud Torah is greater then respecting the father and mother What does this mean practically? ...
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91 views

Amount of respect from daughter in law to her father in law

1. If the father commands his son to tell his (the son's) wife to do something, does the son have a mitzvah to listen if it is not against the torah? (Since I see that mitzvah is also to listen to ...
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2answers
99 views

Can someone stop being supported by his father without his father's permission?

From the shulchan aruch (yora deya 240.5 end) אֲבָל חַיָּב לְכַבְּדוֹ בְּגוּפוֹ, אַף עַל פִּי שֶׁמִּתּוֹךְ כָּךְ בָּטֵל מִמְּלַאכְתּוֹ, וְיִצְטָרֵךְ לְחַזֵּר עַל הַפְּתָחִים. וְדַוְקָא דְּאִית ...
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1answer
23 views

Kibbud Av v'Eim Seforim

Would anyone know of an English sefer on Kibbud Av v'Eim which Has a mix of Halacha and Mussar ?
2
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1answer
114 views

a girl marrying against her parents wishes

i understand that a man can marry a girl against his parents wishes Shulchan_Arukh, Yoreh De'ah 240 25 הַגָּה: וְכֵן אִם הָאָב מוֹחֶה בַּבֵּן לִשָּׂא אֵיזוֹ אִשָּׁה שֶׁיַּחְפֹּץ בָּהּ הַבֵּן, ...
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1answer
60 views

Can someone give their parents mussar?

Does giving parents mussar go against kabed es avicha vas ameicha?
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1answer
58 views

Under what conditions must one rise for his parents?

Is it enough to rise when a parent enters the building or must you rise every time he/she enters your room or passes by your room. I am interested to know customs for both sefardim and Ashkenazim as ...
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0answers
46 views

Respecting or using your father

In shulchan aruch yora daiya 240.6 היה צריך על שום דבר בעיר ויודע שישלימו חפצו בשביל אביו אע"פ שיודע שגם כן יעשו בשבילו לא יאמר עשו לי דבר פלוני בשבילי אלא יאמר עשו בשביל אבא כדי לתלות הכבוד ...
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1answer
416 views

Is One Obligated to Honor Parents if it Involves a Loss of Income?

One is not obligated to pay for items in order to honor parents since the obligation is "mishel av" - from the parents assets. However, is a child obligated to service / nurse a parent if that ...
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54 views

Not passing up a mitzvah: putting away laundry at a parent's behest: closest pile first?

My kid asked: I know there's a general rule of en maavirin al hamtizvos, we don't pass over a mitzva. For example, in mishnayos Yoma, the kohanim don't pass over the nearest blood basin to put ...
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1answer
292 views

Addressing mother as teacher

Children are not supposed to call their parents by their first name because it implies a casual rather than respectful relationship. My daughter attends the school where my wife is a teacher. The ...
9
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2answers
151 views

Correcting one's father or one's rav when he is leyning

The Shulchan Arukh (YD 240:2) rules that one is never allowed to contradict one's father in his presence, and that when it comes to one's rav (or one's father if he is a Torah scholar; YD 242:1-2), ...
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0answers
51 views

A father Changing a minhag - any impact on a grown child?

I was reading some questions about changing minhagim and I began to wonder -- if I took on my father's minhagim when I grew, and then, later, he changed a minhag because he learned something new, or ...
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3answers
205 views

Siding with your father in an argument between parents

According to the laws of respecting your parents, a child may not tell his parent that he/she is wrong. (Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah 240:2) Now, if both father and mother are arguing about something ...
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2answers
79 views

Why are the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim?

The Rambam places the laws of honoring parents in Hilchos Mamrim (5th and 6th chapters). Why there? What does כיבוד אב ואם have to do with Beis Din?
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230 views

Parents who don't want children to take ma'aser from gift

Suppose a non-observant parent gives a (monetary) gift to his/her adult child, but asks that the child not remove 10% to give for tzedaka ("Your mother and I saved this money for you, not for other ...
2
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1answer
115 views

Saying Kaddish Yatom with Permission from Living Parents

If both of my parents are living and they give me a reshut to say kaddish yatom if there is no avel, however the rav wishes that I not say it due to possible issues of marit ayin, who do I follow? ...
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2answers
81 views

Asking forgiveness for failures in Kibbud Av V'Em

It is a well known saying that the Asseres HaDibros are divided into 5 and 5, with the first five Mitzvos between G-d and Man, and the next five between people. In that counting, Kibbud Av V'Em is ...
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2answers
132 views

Mom and Dad begin Shabbat at different times. Whom should the son follow?

The son is 8 years old. (I add this fact, b/c there may be some leniencies to the halacha as he is below Bar Mitzvah.) Dad wants to begin Shabbat "early" before the "regular" candle lighting time (18 ...
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1answer
97 views

Is there a Mitzvah to love parents?

Is there a special mitzvah to love one's parents? If so, does it require the parent's awareness of that love?
4
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1answer
138 views

Can I use kibud av v'em to get my son to date somebody?

Our son is getting older and still has this wild idea from his 20s and 30s that he will find a model who knows shas! We try to explain that it is getting harder as he gets older, to no avail. There ...
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1answer
112 views

How to “honor thy father and mother” when publicly addressing a parent's sexism?

In a discussion on a social media website, one of my parents has expressed a opinion I consider sexist. Feminist principle dictates that I publicly express my disapproval of this, and post a response ...
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2answers
183 views

Dama ben Nesina and the red heifer

Kidushin 31a brings the story of Dama ben Nesina and his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim which cost him a huge fortune. He was rewarded for his amazing Kibud Av V'Aim by one of his cows giving birth to a red ...
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2answers
181 views

Off the Derech Parent [closed]

In what instances to kibbud av v'em apply to a parent who has become less religious? For example, of the following points, which battles are worth fighting? Kashrut Shabbat Chaggim tzniut As ...
6
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1answer
117 views

What do we think about Father's Day?

Is there anything wrong with celebrating Father's Day? (Perhaps implying that you only need to give your father special attention one day a year?) Is there anything right with celebrating Father's ...
3
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2answers
694 views

Can a surgeon operate on his father

Suppose I am a surgeon, and I am renowned for doing a certain type of operation. If my father is in need of that operation, is there a heter for me to operate on him or is there still the prohibition ...
5
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1answer
283 views

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents?

Is a child obligated to honor his foster parents? Does it matter if the child cannot locate his biological parents?
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65 views

Buying kitniyot during Pesach

I have tried, with difficulty, to find good Halachic information about kitniyot on Pesach for those who eat kitniyot (there's plenty of information for those who don't), specifically about whether it ...
4
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1answer
121 views

Should an adoptee mourn his Jewish biological parents?

I was adopted at birth from a Jewish biological mother into a Jewish adoptive family. Should I observe mourning for my birth mother when she dies, and otherwise honor her as a parent? Thank you.
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2answers
167 views

Parents oppose a chumra

We know that if a parent wants his/her child to violate halacha, the law of Kibbud Av V'Eim does not apply. But what if the parent wants the child to not accept a chumra that the child feels very ...
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5answers
244 views

Revenge and keeping halacha

About a year ago, I started to keep halacha. It was weird at first not driving or using my computer on Saturdays, and my diet changed a lot too, but ultimately I didn't mind, and now I'm pretty ...
5
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1answer
81 views

Kibud Av Veim if parent(s) is an idolater

Suppose someone has a parent(or both) who, chas vshalom, became an idolater. Do their kids still have the obligation of Kibud Av Veim towards them?
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2answers
183 views

Is it better to pray at a synagogue where you feel comfortable praying, or to go where your father prays?

This is a common problem with guys living near or with their parents. Do you fulfill Kibud Av Ve'aim and go to shul with your father, or is it preferred to pray at a place where you feel more ...
7
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1answer
206 views

Can a teen threaten or attack one parent, who is beating or is about to beat the other?

This is relevant in many dysfunctional Jewish homes. Suppose one parent is beating or about to beat the other, and the child has an opportunity to intervene by threatening violence to the abusive ...
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0answers
61 views

What would be the Torah view on Kibud Av vEm when requested to constantly cater to them?

If a parent regularly asks to be accompanied to multiple places by car during the day and this would use a large portion of the day, is the child required to fulfill this all the time even if it ...
5
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0answers
163 views

Parent dying overseas - visit now or attend funeral?

A person lives far away from a dying parent and cannot afford more than one visit. What do the halachic sources say about when they should visit? Should they visit the parent immediately and miss the ...
3
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1answer
191 views

Source for story about R' Yishmael ben Elisha's mother?

This article tells us the following story about R' Yishmael ben Elisha and his mother: Rabbi Ishmael's mother was a very pious woman, and she worshipped her son. But one day she astonished the ...
5
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3answers
164 views

Honoring parental requests that don't benefit the parents

If one's parents ask him to do something that is not beneficial to the parents in any way whatsoever (though not harmful to the parents, the child, or anyone else, either), is he nonetheless obligated ...
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0answers
49 views

Using someone's mother/father's disliked name for ritual purposes

Closely related to this question, what happens if someone's mother or father doesn't/didn't like her or his name, and the child now either needs a MiSheBerach or is called to the Torah? What name ...
2
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1answer
60 views

Mitzva of Tzedaka for Pikuach Nefesh

Let's say one has a relative/parent who needs a life saving operation but does not have the financial means to pay for it or even get a loan, is one required to sell his property to help them?
4
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1answer
93 views

Mamzer honoring his father - why wouldn't he?

The Shulhan 'Aruch (240:18) writes that a Mamzer has an obligation to honor his father. Why might I think otherwise?
3
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0answers
81 views

Honoring a wicked father who has repented - How is he still considered wicked?

The Shulhan 'Aruch (Y"D 240:18) writes that one is obligated to honor his father even if the father is wicked (actually, it says that a Mamzer is obligated, but I believe that the implication is that ...
9
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3answers
355 views

Are a father and son allowed to learn martial arts together?

Can a father and son take karate or kung-fu lessons together if part of the training involves sparring? Is there a problem with the son hitting the father?
4
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1answer
139 views

Referring to parent in third person

I have seen some homes where the children refer to the parent in third person as a sign of respect (Would Abba like to...). I'm curious to know if this practice is brought down in any sefer and if in ...
4
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2answers
272 views

Converts, kibbud av v'eim, and non-Jewish holidays

A convert is required to honor his parents. This does not apply when fulfilling their requests violates halacha. I suspect that many parents of converts, who are not knowledgable in halacha and ...
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1answer
319 views

Why was Yaakov punished for not honoring his parents?

Bereshit 37:34 (translation by machon-mamre): וַיִּקְרַע יַעֲקֹב שִׂמְלֹתָיו, וַיָּשֶׂם שַׂק בְּמָתְנָיו; וַיִּתְאַבֵּל עַל-בְּנוֹ, יָמִים רַבִּים And Jacob rent his garments, and put ...
4
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1answer
163 views

Can an adopted child call birth parents by first name?

Consider someone adopted by Jewish parents, whom he grew up calling 'mom' and 'dad'. After he reaches adulthood, he meets his biological parents. Can he call them by their first names, if 'mom' and ...