As this is for you a practical question, I really suggest you ask the rabbi of your local, orthodox synagogue. Besides always relying on your rabbi for practical questions rather than relying on answers you get here, there's a special consideration in the case of this question: Synagogues' practices differ w.r.t. the answer to your question, w.r.t. who says kel male (if that's what's to be said), and w.r.t. when you should say kadish (if that's what's to be said), and your local rabbi will make those calls for his own synagogue. Moreover, the rabbi may want to teach a mishna in public in memory of the departed, or the like.