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When a person gets engaged and married there are various things that we do as a Zecher L'Churban. At the Tenayim (whether done immediately or at the wedding) we break an earthernware plate, at the Chupah we break a glass. Why do we Davka break an earthernware plate at the Tenayim and a glass at the Chupah?

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Just before the chupah, the chasan has some ashes on his forehead to remember the Bais Hamikdash. – geoffc Aug 9 '11 at 16:07
I learned this week, that only Ashkenazim do the ash on the head. – avi Aug 9 '11 at 20:48
@avi That's odd considering it's an explicit gemara (BB60b) quoted by all the major rishonim, shulchan aruch etc. – Double AA Nov 23 '11 at 4:30
up vote 6 down vote accepted

I heard it is because one can "fix" a wedding through a divorce (like a glass that can be melted back together). There is no way out of a tnaim, however, so it is like an earthenware plate that can't be fixed.

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The Toldos Aharon writes this in the name of the Ba'al Shem Tov. See footnote to #970 in Taamei Minhagim: hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14556&pgnum=424 – Menachem Aug 12 '11 at 4:58
Can't you also get out of a tnaim with kiddushin then get? – Double AA Aug 2 '12 at 15:12
@DoubleAA that's not getting out of a Tnayim. One fulfills the Tenaim through marriage and then leave the marriage through a Get – Shmuel Brin Jul 31 '15 at 0:26
@ShmuelBrin What's the difference? In both cases it's no longer binding on you. – Double AA Jul 31 '15 at 0:31
@DoubleAA If a person vows to get married to someone and divorces her, did he fulfill his Shevua? – Shmuel Brin Jul 31 '15 at 2:09

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