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This past Shabbat, someone in my shul referred me to the concoction that Moses made by mixing ground up Golden Calf with water and making Jews drink it. The person said that this drink was ale, because Moses asked the people shortly afterwards, "Me Lashem Ale - aye". So, it was some type of special ale.

I haven't been able to locate any stores or on-line sites that sell this special Golden Calf Ale. Would anyone have some idea who sells this, and approximately how much a six pack costs?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

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closed as off-topic by Monica Cellio Mar 27 at 4:21

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Note that the medrash says that people died as a result of drinking it. While I know you would not have, the FDA would ban it anyways. – sabbahillel Mar 10 at 18:35
up vote 7 down vote accepted

You might be able to find ales claiming to be this, but the original Golden Calf Ale was a super-limited edition. You've heard of microbreweries and maybe even nanobreweries? Moshe ran the first-ever picobrewery, producing a single batch of a single ale. A quantity was stored alongside the parah adamah water and the shattered tablets, but like those other treasures has now been lost.

So you cannot get true Golden Calf Ale, at least until Eliyahu -- who has a particular interest in alcohol according to every seder I've ever been to -- comes to restore this concoction to us. In the meantime, accept no substitutes!

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It actually isn't called Golden Calf Ale - the phrase Moshe used was "Mei Leshem Alei" - My Ale is Leshem water, a reference to the Urim Vitumim - "וְהַטּוּר, הַשְּׁלִישִׁי--לֶשֶׁם שְׁבוֹ, וְאַחְלָמָה"

There is significant dispute as to the identity of the Leshem stone. Many Greek commentators on the Septuagint, including Pliny the Elder, claim it was Amber, which means that Moshe was drinking standard Amber Ale.

Rav Saadia Gaon disagreed and said it was onyx, which would imply Moshe was imbibing an exotic black ale.

Most modern scholars, though, translate Leshem as Jacinth, a orange-crimson stone that lends its color to red ales.

The jacinth, though is named after the Hyacinth flower. Interestingly, it appears scientists have recently rediscovered how to convert the water hyacinth into alcohol, though currently it is only being proposed for fuel stock.

So it appears that the most accurate rendition of Moshe's brew is only for sale by the gallon at gas stations and not as a six pack.

Based upon the current US average of $1.844 per gallon and an assumed ethanol rate of 10%, with 6*12=72 ounces in a six pack and 128 ounces in a gallon, it would cost:

$1.844/gallon * (72 ounces / 128 ounces per gallon) / (10% ethanol content) = $10.3725 per six pack, roughly on par for a craft brew. Of course, you'll still need to filter and bottle the Leshem Beer out of your gasoline...

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+1 for going through the calculation at the end. – Y ez Mar 11 at 0:26

Golden Calf Ale is available from Creekside Brewing Company in San Luis Obispo, California. You'll need to call them for a quote on a six pack.

Deceptively light-bodied and effervescent, this Belgian golden strong ale gives off aromas of pear, apple, banana, and clove. A pleasant alcohol warming balances a dry finish for a sinfully good drinking experience.

Their description of their craft brew includes this:

With more than 30 different recipes to choose from such as our traditional “Double Dark Stout” and the “Golden Calf”

RateBeer has more information about this product.

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This doesn't seem to answer the question. It talks about any golden ale. I can get great golden ale from Trader Joes. How does this address Golden CALF ale? – DanF Mar 10 at 19:31
    
@DanF From the page, 'With more than 30 different recipes to choose from such as our traditional “Double Dark Stout” and the “Golden Calf”' – Daniel Mar 10 at 19:44
2  
@DanF: Golden Calf Strong Ale. Don't know what makes it "strong"... – Bob Jarvis Mar 10 at 22:06
1  
@BobJarvis perhaps 9.0% ABV – Henry Mar 11 at 0:21

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