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All:

Boruch Hashem I am all set with my significant half but it becomes more and more revealed that we are living in "Shidduchim crisis".

I wonder if there are good sites for Shidduchim - if so - why do we still have ton of problems in such area? If we do not have good sites - why it is so hard to build one for profit or not.

Appreciate for all your help.

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2  
Primarily Opinion Based? –  Double AA Aug 19 at 14:10
    
@DoubleAA - probably is. Esp. if people don't like my answer :-) Good Q nonetheless. Problem is that the title doesn't seem to match the main focus of the question body. –  DanF Aug 20 at 2:30

2 Answers 2

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There are many Shidduch sites out there. The very fact that they exist show that people are "falling out of the system" of using a Shadchan. One such site (which I know made a shidduch for my brother-in-law) is Saw You at Sinai.

I could wax eloquently about the importance of a good Shadchan, etc., but unfortunately for many people they don't have access to a good Shadchan, just someone who gives themselves that title.

Why there is a "shidduch crisis" has been talked about at length, if there is one, which groups have one, etc. The currently popular thinking in Litvish circles (there have been multiple articles in the English Mishpacha and Ami about it that I have seen, and I'm sure there are others) is that the age gap between the boys and girls is too large.

My own observation of the Litvish community is that they have a major expectations problem at many levels. When your expectations are unrealistic, it makes a Shidduch very hard. I'll tell you the story of a guy who was looking for the "perfect" woman to marry. He met very many, spent many years looking, and finally he found her. But they didn't get married - because she was looking for the "perfect" guy.

I don't know that it is hard to build such a site (there are several, some are general like Saw You At Sinai, others can be community specific) is not necessarily hard, but it is going to be for some sub-section of people who are not going the traditional route, so it is going to have audience challenges.

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Some of the questions on some Shidduchim sites really make me wonder, sometimes. "What color tablecloth does you mom use on the Shabbat table?" Really, is that question crucial for making a good shidduch? My niece recently got a shidduch "resume" from a site. All sorts of questions, some important, others a bit strange. But the most important question, I think, was NOT on the resume ... "What is your occupation?" –  DanF Aug 19 at 15:55
    
@DanF, as I said "expectations are unrealistic". –  Yishai Aug 19 at 15:57
    
agreed. So, who encourages such unrealistic expectations - the parents? And, since the community likes to listen to the rav and shiurim, maybe there should be a "mass campaign" to educate parents and kids on what's a set of "realistic expectations"? One of them, being, have the bochur work in a profession that is sufficient to support his family? –  DanF Aug 19 at 16:12

Another popular site is JWed. It is different from SYAS in that people contact each other directly, without a shadchan.

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