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BSD

Are there any sources in any Torah literature of the importance of a parent respecting their child. I am referring to a parent understanding their child. For example a parent not caring about his child's passions or pursuits, or verbally discounting their child's pursuit in life, something that could be quite damaging. I think we could fill a box set of encyclopedias of stories of parents not understanding their children and giving them space to make independent choices. I am asking if any sources touch upon this aspect.

Obviously there is a lot of emphasis on the respecting one's parents. But is there any writings on the other way around, parent respecting child? Are there any sources for this?

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1 Answer 1

BSD

I came upon this source after I asked this question, BH.

Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 143:17

"אסור לאדם להכביד עולו על בניו ולדקדק בכבודו עמהם שלא יביאם לידי מכשול אלא ימחול ויעלים עיניו מהם"

In a nutshell the parent shouldnt ask too much of the child for respect, as this risks the child transgressing the commandment of kibbud av veim. Rather a parent should be forgiving of the child and overlook the child's faults. Later it goes on to say that the father can also forfeit his honor due unto him.

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I really like the halakha immediately after this one as well (143:18): "Anyone who hits his grown son is placed under nidui, for he is violating the commandment of lifnei iver [i.e., by tempting him to retaliate and violate kibud av v'eim]." Your child's spiritual welfare is your spiritual welfare as well. –  Shivaram Lingamneni Jun 17 at 20:11

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