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I'd seen a book on wedding practices and customs that said if desired in appropriate cases, a memorial prayer ("El/Kel Malei Rachamim") could be said under the chuppah, e.g. a bride/groom who lost a parent fairly young, and would like to have their memory honored (assuming it's not too painful).

This book tended towards Hassidic customs, so I don't know if this custom is limited to the Hassidic world; I haven't seen it at any weddings, but that doesn't prove anything. Has anyone else heard of or seen this practice? (Or a Sefardi Azkara for that matter, I suppose?)

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3 Answers 3

Never seen it done at any wedding.

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At the weddings I've been to, I see the chatan and kallah moving their lips, davening silently to Hashem, under the chuppah before they start making the berachot. Perhaps the sefer you saw was recommending that the chatan or kallah say the El Malei Rachamim silently at this time.

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Since the question presupposes sources and asks for anecdotal evidence, I can bring that from my father & master ZLLHH. He came home from a wedding once, and was shocked and mystified that Kel Male Rachamim was said aloud under the chuppah. He had never heard of the custom's existence, even though he had lost a parent while young and presumably someone could have brought it to his attention.

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