If a young Jewish girl was raped, what are the protocols for her getting married? Is there anyone that she can't marry other than the Kohen or Kohen Gadol? What are the halachot for these types of circumstances, and what do you recommend should be the protocol as she is looking to shidduchim now?
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Thank you and welcome to the site. We hope this is a theoretical question; however, Judaism covers the difficult cases too.
First off, this isn't pleasant to bring up, but not all forms of rape would be of halachic consequence to the question at hand; but we'll assume here that this was conventional full penetration, which would present an issue.
The Kohen Gadol issue isn't so relevant at the moment; as you'd indicated, if the rapist was a non-Jew or a close relative, she may not marry a Kohen. (And if the rapist is not identified, we'd generally assume it was a non-Jew.) Most shadchanim simply have a checkbox -- "are you ineligible to marry a Kohen?" The lady can simply check this -- or say "sorry no Kohanim" without giving another drop of detail. Could be her father wasn't Jewish, could be she had a non-Jewish boyfriend, could be rape, could be all sorts of things -- none of it is the shadchan's business.
(If the rapist was a Jew who was not closely related to the victim, she may still marry a Kohen.) (Source below.)
The important thing for this young woman would be (well hopefully all criminal and medical issues have been resolved first) to spend some time with a mental-health professional to make sure she is healing properly and can look forward to a life of positive sexual experiences within the framework of marriage. Please don't think "oh I'll get married and then all my problems will disappear" -- it's not fair to you or your spouse.
Provided she is emotionally okay, this is quite frankly none of a young man's business on a first date or two. She does not have to walk around at a singles event with a sign on her hat saying HI MY NAME IS JUDY; I WAS RAPED. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein ruled that a young widow could remove her hair covering, see if she could meet someone, and then explain her past to a suitor at some point in the dating process if things are looking like they are headed quite seriously. (Depending on your culture, this is probably sometime around the 3rd date or so.) I think the same would apply here; assuming whatever trauma issues have been resolved, first go find someone with whom things look promising, then explain the situation before any serious decisions are made. (And if a man meets a woman and likes everything about her for several dates, then suddenly would drop her because of something in her past that's of no halachic or psychological consequence, then phooey to him. Rabbi Ovadya Yosef has, in his written responsa, a question from a woman who had given up for adoption an out-of-wedlock child years earlier and never told her current husband.)
As for the wording in the ketubah -- "betultah" simply means "kohen eligible." If this woman is not kohen-eligible, the preferred wording is "it'ta" (simply Aramaic for "woman.") If she chooses to go this route, only a small handful of people need to know this; this is none of the crowd's business, and they can instruct whoever's reading the ketubah so say "betulta" out-loud instead.
From a Biblical standpoint (ie, in the times of Tanach, but not necessarily today), the rapist was required to marry the girl he raped, should she wish to do so.
Why would she wish to marry him? Ancient peoples placed great emphasis on purity and virginity, and the victim would be considered defiled and disgraced (in addition to no longer being a virgin.) As such, her marriage prospects were very slim, and she might choose to marry her attacker rather than face the prospect of never getting married. This unfortunate situation (ie, that rape is viewed as shameful for the victim, not the attacker) is still prevalent in many places today, such as rural India.