Take the 2-minute tour ×
Mi Yodeya is a question and answer site for those who base their lives on Jewish law and tradition and anyone interested in learning more. It's 100% free, no registration required.

Lately I have stopped being fully Shomer Shabbos, spending Shabbos afternoons in the bedroom surfing the internet on my phone and texting non-Jewish friends. My wife and children think I'm sleeping this whole time, and they knock on the door to "wake me up" and have me come down to make Havdala. Is there any point in my making Havdala? Would it better to have one of the older (above bar mitzva) boys make havdala if I haven't kept Shabbos? It would not be totally odd since we let them make havdala sometimes.

What about Kiddush if I am not really sure whether I'm going to break Shabbos?

I know what I do on Shabbos is my own issue and not for this forum, but I'm worried about messing up my family's observance too, so I don't want them to know, hence I'd prefer to make Havdala for them as usual, if it makes sense.

share|improve this question
2  
On issues like these, I'm pretty sure it works on a DADT (don't ask, don't tell basis). Kind of like calling up people for an aliyah without knowing their shomer shabbos or counting them in a minyon. Don't quote me on this though. –  rosenjcb Jul 28 '13 at 19:34
    
See Igros Moshe OC 1:23 and 33 or 34. –  sam Jul 29 '13 at 2:37
    
I think you have to listen to this Shiur on Shabbat and then you'll reconsider everything: divineinformation.com/videos-english/shabbat-2 –  Hacham Gabriel Aug 4 '13 at 6:46
add comment

2 Answers

Tzitz Eliezer 12:38:2 concludes that there is no connection of Shemiras Shabbos with Havdala. Therefore even a Mechalel Shabbos can and should make Havdala.

share|improve this answer
3  
Terrific find in the Tzitz Eliezer. I'd intuit as much because Havdalah, like Kiddush, is a fulfillment of "remember the shabbos day to keep it holy", whereas not texting is a fulfillment of "guard the Shabbos day to keep it holy." –  Shalom Jul 30 '13 at 16:00
add comment

Torah is not all or nothing. Meaning: a person who does not make kiddush can give tzedakah. A person who eats pig can visit the sick put on teffilin and avoid wearing shatnez.

It is important to nurture the impulse to do mitzvahs and jump on any moment that you are moved to do so.

share|improve this answer
1  
Got a source for the specific questions being asked? –  Seth J Jul 30 '13 at 15:18
    
A mechallel Shabbas bfaryesiya is not so simple. –  sam Jul 30 '13 at 17:08
    
No are you saying that if someone does a single aveira they should never do another mitzvah? –  Eytan Yammer Aug 2 '13 at 21:21
    
He is not mechalel shabbat bfarhessia he is doing it btzina and see above –  Eytan Yammer Aug 2 '13 at 21:22
add comment

Your Answer

 
discard

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.