I will tell you something that has completely changed my avodas Hashem. You have to stop focusing on yourself and start focusing on God. This sounds very simple but in practice is very hard to do. That means coming to terms with the fact that, in whatever way we can understand this, God is (k'vayachol) pained or unhappy that his children are in exile and that his house is gone.
In practical terms, for me, I have found that means talking to God, as often as possible. I get an email "please daven for so and so" besides sitting at my desk and saying a quick chapter of tehillim I try to also verbalize aloud my own prayer in English. Something like, "Please God, one of your children is sick which I'm sure pains you. Please heal this person quickly."
That is an example, but the idea is to "interact" with God in a real and meaningful way as often as possible and to verbally call attention to it when you do it. For example I walk past a delicious smelling treif pizza place and say, "God, that food smells delicious but you commanded me not to eat it, so I want you to know the reason I'm not going inside there right now is because I value your will and want to keep your commandments"
Overtime I have found that this has made God a lot more "real" to me, which I know sounds weird, but I don't know how else to describe it. Then you get to Tisha B'Av and it really starts to hit you. Or you see things like what happened to the Fogel family and it really hits you. This is not how things are meant to be. But now you see those things and it prompts you to dialogue with God. "Please God end the suffering of your people."
Suddenly there is a new perspective. Sure life is good for many Jews in the diaspora (Baruch Hashem) but when that happiness comes at the expense of another who is so saddened by the situation that is exactly what the gemarah (Gittin 58a) describes as the source for the exile in the first place. How petty have our lives become that having a nice house and physical comforts makes us forget that God Almighty has no home. Then it becomes much easier to relate to really wanting Moshiach
Please note I don't know you at all and nothing in this answer should be taken as a personal criticism. It is a general statement about the attitude of some Jews in Diaspora