One of Maimonidies 13 principles of faith is believing in the resurrection of the dead wherein the dead will arise from their graves. My question is have chazal provided any guidelines for how we are to survive this zombie apocalypse?
closed as too localized by msh210♦ Feb 28 at 18:40
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Follow the instructions of the Rambam (De'os 1:7):
There's nothing wrong with being a zombie, so don't try to escape being turned into one. You just need to have a positive attitude about it.
Zombies are actually quite problematic, though the problem seems to be with only one female zombie, Kol Haron Api, as Zephania (3:8) said:
But fundamentally, Jews shouldn't have to worry about the zombie apocalypse, as is made clear in Isaiah (66:14), zombies will only attack G-d's enemies:
However, Isaiah (26:19-20) does offer some practical advice while Kol Haron Api is out and about:
As far as what to look out for, Shlomo, as usual, has some insight (Mishlei 25:23):
So anyone with a second tongue is likely a zombie.
Your mistake is in assuming that zombie-tude is the same as resurrection of the dead. Re-animation is not the same as resurrection, as we learn from Ezekiel:
It is only when the prophet follows the divine command to prophesy to them that they have life:
Until they have prophecy-induced breath they are mere flesh and not alive. Once they are alive they also know their creator and will turn from their zombie ways, as we know from the fact that Ezekiel lived to tell the tale for 11 more chapters.
Therefore, when the zombie apocalypse comes, you have two choices: (a) smite them, as they are not living people, or (b) read to them from this book and they will turn to your side.
Hilel sees a skull floating in the water. He says to it, "Since you drowned, you were drowned; and your drowner will also be drowned."
The answers, respectively, are:
As it turns out, this specific mishnah spoken to the zombie is a continuation of what preceded it (2:5): "In a place where there are no men, you should try to be a man." Hilel is encouraging the zombie that he too can be a normal man. Contrary to the link quoted in the question, zombies can be reasoned with.
So in summary, the short answer for how to survive the zombie apocalypse: Take public speaking lessons.
Well there's one Talmudic sage who rejected his colleague's arguments by stating, "whoever said that has no brains in his head!" Hence just bring in a few skeptical Talmudists and the zombies will conclude there are no brains to be had here.