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Looking for answers based on experience or sources only

The gemarah (kiddushin 41a) stipulates that a man must see his wife before marrying her because if he finds her unattractive and marries her he will transgress "loving your neighbor as yourself" (Vayikra 19:18).

If a wife's physical attractiveness has deteriorated after marriage due to a lack in maintaining her appearance (meaning, not due to any medical condition), and if the fact that she is now less attractive is upsetting the husband or causing him to be less interested/affectionate to his wife, can/should the husband say something to his wife about this, knowing that it may hurt the wife's feelings? What are some practical ways to address this problem?

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I would venture to say each case is different. At times perhaps a close friend of the wife would be helpful, at others a former teacher, and in some perhaps the husband would be best. – Gershon Gold Dec 10 '12 at 15:05
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Does this need to be tweaked to make it on-topic? If not, are we open to any and all questions about maintaining a marriage? – Isaac Moses Dec 10 '12 at 15:20
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@nikmasi I'm not sure (which is why I posted a question-comment, rather than going straight to voting for closure). Perhaps limit the scope to advice from Torah sources? By way of analogy, would the prohibition against dishonest business dealings ("evven va-avven") make any question about the details of ethical business practices (e.g. this one, but without the Jewish scope limitation) in-scope? – Isaac Moses Dec 10 '12 at 16:20
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... And yes, I think that adding information about why you suspect this would be addressed by the sources would be a good component. – Isaac Moses Dec 10 '12 at 16:26
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What if the husband's appearance has deteriorated? Shouldn't this question go both ways? – Double AA♦ Dec 10 '12 at 16:28
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