What are Jewish conventions regarding honeymoons? Is a honeymoon taken, and, if so, is it done immediately after the wedding--or later, once the woman is again tehora?
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There is no sanctioned "vacation" in Judaism or Jewish weddings. The whole concept appears to be a "new invention" even in Christian Society. However, "honeymoon" periods do exist. Firstly, there is the week of sheva brachot, where all meals are supposed to be joyous and glad with many members from the community. There is also a custom to invite people who could not make it to the wedding. After the week of Sheva Brachot, there is also a concept known as "Shana Rishona" Or "The first year". During the first year of marriage, the couple, if possible should never spend a night apart. They should not invite guests for Shabbat, and A soldier should not go to war. Over the generations, other customs have grown out of "Shanna Rishona" As for the aspect of being Tahor I have seen various customs on the issue, some of which arguably go against halacha. One custom I have heard of is that after the first night of marriage, the couple does not consummate the marriage, so that they may touch each other during the week of Sheva brachot, and only once the stress has been reduced, and family is gone, and "life is normal" do they sleep together. As far as I am aware, this is a common custom, yet not approved by anybody. Another custom is to have a 'honeymoon' on the evening of the wedding, where the bride and grooom will spend the evening in a fancy hotel, and they will spend the first day together before getting involved with the family and friends for the sheva brachot. Another custom I have seen, is to take a "honeymoon" months after the wedding, waiting for a good time in the calendar where they can have a long weekend together and go away. |
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The modern custom of honeymoons raises a significant halachic question, famously addressed by R. Yitzchak Abadi in his sefer Ohr Yitzchak which is the problem of "dam besulim". After the first time a couple is intimate on the wedding night, they are normally required to avoid relations until the wife becomes pure again, as you allude to in your question. But on honeymoons, which most couples take immediately after the wedding, couples are generally assumed to have relations again, within the prohibited timeframe. R. Abadi attempts to find a way around this problem in order to make sure that the majority of couples that go on honeymoons are not transgressing. His approach is rejected by R. Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, whose response is published in R. Abadi's sefer along with R. Abadi's rebuttal. |
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