We are a gentile married couple and my husband wants to convert orthodox and im still not sure if i want to convert at all. i found out that the conservative would let my husband convert and stay with me but how is it in orthodox? our rabbi said he would have to divorce me. but our rabbi is super frum (good for him..not good for me) please help i dont want to lose my husband but i also dont want him to be unhappy and torah makes him happy
- Anybody can ask a question
- Anybody can answer
- The best answers are voted up and rise to the top
As @GershonGold said, an Orthodox rabbi would not approve your husband's conversion while he is still married to you, and he would not re-marry you afterward, because doing either of these would create an inter-marriage that is a violation of halacha.
One possibility is Isaac's from the comments; he could look into Noachide options. Another is this: the two of you could study for conversion together, knowing that conversion won't happen until and unless you're both ready. Meanwhile, he can begin to practice, you can explore what that means for you, and maybe you'll become more interested over time. You said you don't know if you want to convert, not that you know you don't, else I wouldn't suggest it.
I knew an Orthodox rabbi who had some students for many years (10+), and not all who study for conversion will ultimately convert. So it wouldn't be wrong for you to start down that path, so long as you're completely up-front about your current thinking. Converting is a big step and when you're at the beginning of the process you don't know enough yet to make an informed decision -- that's part of what the rest of the process is for.
If only your husband wants to convert, and you do not want to - according to orthodox Jewish law you would be unable to stay married. Even if both of you convert you would have to remarry under orthodox Jewish law. There is no orthodox Rabbi that would disagree with this, even if he is not super frum.
In addition a conservative conversion would not be recognized by anyone who is orthodox, however an orthodox conversion would be accepted by all.