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I was recently reading the latest edition of Halachically Speaking. It says:

A woman who is a widow r”l or divorcee still has an obligation to cover her hair.

But why is this so? Why should they be any different than unmarried women?

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For the record, there are also opinions contrary to this. –  AviD Nov 20 '11 at 21:55
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up vote 12 down vote accepted

Presumably standard practice is that once a woman begins treating her hair as erva, she should continue doing so. (I believe I've heard this from Rabbis Broyde or Willig.)

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein does write that hair-covering while married is dat moshe, but hair-covering afterwards is dat yehudit. There is a great deal of discussion over what those terms mean, but most straightforward is the argument of Rabbi Yehuda Henkin, Rabbi Michael Broyde, and others that the former is completely objective, but the latter may have some cultural dependence.

(By the way, why do unmarried women not have to cover their hair? It appears their definition of erva is culturally subjective, hence not today.)

The obligation of hair-covering post-marriage is less than during marriage; thus (as indicated by rony), in one responsum Rabbi Moshe Feinstein allowed a young widow to uncover her hair as that was needed for her employment in an office (which sounds a bit like the Mad Men era, but I digress). In another responsum, he allows a young divorcee to uncover her hair to increase the likelihood of meeting an eligible fellow. There are actually two reasons why this is helpful:

  • Rabbi Feinstein is concerned that a man may be so ideologically opposed to marrying a divorcee that he'd never talk with a hair-covered woman to begin with; but if she looked never-married, he'd make conversation with her, and then by the second or third date she'd reveal her background, but by then he'd think of her as a whole person and not a theoretical category.
  • More simply, if I'm a single guy at a kiddush, wedding, or other social event, I'm not going to approach random pretty lady wearing a hair-covering -- she's probably married!
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Did RMF approve of single guys approaching random pretty ladies at kiddushes? –  Isaac Moses Nov 18 '11 at 14:03
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He allowed mixed seating at weddings. (At all the weddings of his grandchildren through his daughter Shifra Tendler ah's, the married folk were at separate tables of 8, and the eligible singles were at mixed tables of 6.) –  Shalom Nov 18 '11 at 14:21
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@Isaac, a similar story (though not RMF): In the realm of Yeshiva University lore, there are multiple versions of how Rabbi Hershel Schachter met his wife. The one that he himself tells is: "I had walked into the OU convention and registered, then I looked across the room and said hey, that's a pretty girl, so I went over and talked to her." –  Shalom Nov 18 '11 at 14:24
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And -- don't say this too loudly -- it appears from the biography (prefacing volume 8 of the Igrot) that when he was still single and the rabbi of the town he got quite sick; when Sima Katz decided to be the one in charge of taking care of him, she was effectively submitting her shidduch application. (Which was accepted!) –  Shalom Nov 18 '11 at 14:28
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Thanks! This conversation inspired me to make a new proposal for the weekly challenge: meta.judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/441/… –  Isaac Moses Nov 18 '11 at 14:54
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This is a very (extremely?) delicate subject. We must first understand what stands behind it and this forum may not be the best place to discuss it. The idea of "tzniut" is very deep and comes to help us build a meaningful and lasting married relationship. The chinuch (training? education?) starts at a very young age much before the boy/girl gets to the age of marrying. There are different customs depending on the congregations. I am happy that I don't have to be a posek in this subject! The source to cover the hair for married window is deHoraitah (Shulchan Haruch Even Haezer 21:2) and according to the commentators it includes even divorced and widows. Harav Feinshtein was asked on the subject (Igrot Moshe, Even Haezer 1:57) regarding if the widow or the divorced may loose her place of work if she comes with her hair covered. He said that in the case of need she can go with her hair uncovered. What is "case of need"? What about a situation of a young widow that hopes to re-marry and feels that is she goes with her covered it will decrease her chances?

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Rony, you have supplied several sources for your answer, which is the point of this forum. It's NOT meant to be a place for Paskening Halachah, so fear not - you do not have to Pasken! There used to be a disclaimer at the top of every page stating that you should not rely on information in this site for deciding matters of Halachah, but should, rather, consult a competent Rav. We are here to learn and discuss matters relating to Jewish life and learning, and this question entirely fits the parameters. If you do not wish to discuss it here, you may choose to delete your answer. –  Seth J Nov 18 '11 at 16:29
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But, before you delete your answer, remember what I said above - you've supplied a good deal of information in your answer, even if you didn't mean to, and your answer could prove quite useful to the original poster if you should decide to edit your answer slightly. –  Seth J Nov 18 '11 at 16:31
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Seth J, I tried to add a humorous tone to my answer. To paraphrase the Yiddish saying: I guess that in Hebrew it sounds better. I had the feeling that the question was touching on the essence of Zniut and why should women cover their head, which is a very delicate topic in Israel, given the different streams. I just think this special matter is best discussed and explained in a face to face meeting or in forum were you ask the Rabbi and there are no open discussions. But its OK, I am learning. Thanks –  rony Nov 19 '11 at 17:58
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